I posted last week about my husband just not being interested in sex. We talked about it last week again, but no change. I called him while he was at work today and let him know I would be happy to see him tonight and was feeling very turned on. He got home tonight and after he relaxed for a while, I approached him again. I told him I was still in the mood and tried kissing him. He kissed back for a second then went on to say how tired he is. I haven't had sex in months, and haven't been kissed in years. I want him to make love with me, but I'm tired of asking, and frankly, don't think I should have to ask. I'm an attractive woman (so I'm told), and I have a normal healthy sexual appetite. I want my husband to fulfill that, but he just doesn't seem to want the part. What can I do? :confused:

May I ask your ages? You haven't been kissed in YEARS? That has to be heartbreaking. Intimacy is important in a healthy relationship. How is his health? This has got to be hell for you. I don't see any relationship that has no affection surviving. Tell him your wanting to be held, kissed, loved, touched, caressed, and made love to. Are you about to leave him over this?

I was thinking that if this happened to me, I would have to leave. You might as well be brother and sister if that's all there is. I wish you the best.

If he is tired ask him to go lay down and give him a back rub that eventually turns into a front rub.

Take him by the hand and say honey"tonight is the night".

If you can get him to the point of having an erection,you might get some action.

Be forceful and gentle but demand your rights as a wife,in a kidding but ultimately serious way.

May I ask your ages? You haven't been kissed in YEARS? That has to be heartbreaking. Intimacy is important in a healthy relationship. How is his health? This has got to be hell for you. I don't see any relationship that has no affection surviving. Tell him your wanting to be held, kissed, loved, touched, caressed, and made love to. Are you about to leave him over this?


I am 38; he is 42. I wouldn't say it is a loveless marriage. He is wonderful to me in just about every other way. We cuddle, snuggle, etc. We just have very very different sexual... tendancies? I guess that's the word I'm looking for. The last time he 'made love' to me was probably 7 years ago. When we do have sex, which isn't very often, there is no kissing, no other touching. It's usually when I walk in and find him masturbating and just jump in. I can't tell you the last time I had any foreplay. Probably also 7 years ago. I have toys, but that gets old. I want to be held and kissed and teased like every woman, at least SOMEtimes. Years ago, I met someone who I really really liked. I thought about him for many years, even after I got married to my husband. We both moved and lost touch (we were young and broke--before the internet was big and cell phones were popular). We had an amazing, though short lived relationship. I have since run into him and just chatting and talking with him has brought back so many memories. But I have tried to use those fantasies and desires for my husband. However, I get nothing back, sexually. I'm just so frustrated!

Sorry jmjoseph! I tried to quote part of your question, but it didn't work!

I was trying to think if I had a wife like that, what would I do?I honestly don't know, besides counseling. I'm sure it hurts your feelings that he masturbates, but doesn't want sex with you. Was he like this when you first met? While you were dating? Or has the sex just tapered off? Well, at least he shows some signs of affection towards you. What does he say when you talk to him about this?

Ages please... we need to know if you are 50's or 20's.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Ages please....we need to know if you are 50's or 20's.

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38 and 42. She stated this a few posts up!

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Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

38 and 42. she stated this a few posts up!

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I missed that somehow... thanks.

Has he had a complete physical done recently... what medications is he on... there are a number of things that can depress a libido, particularly as one gets older. Certain antidepressants can kill it altogether. On others that side effect can vary from only slight to severe.