Thanks for taking the time to read this.

My Ex boyfriend and were together for 3 and a half years.. I broke up with him in the beginning of the summer because I was having a bad time in my life.. and I needed to learn how to be independent.. and to see if I really loved him. Well basically I still saw him in the summer.. and fell in love with him all over again. Maybe I never stopped.. but anyway, He would not get back together with me. Well that felt like something just shot through my heart. Well, I cried and was so depressed I threatened on killing myself. Well then a week later he kissed me and told me he loved me. IT was great. Then 2 weeks later he broke up with me. Its like he's playing a game. Now I haven't talked to him in 10 days and its KILLING ME. I don't want to call him because I am waiting for him. All my friends say he stares at me.. and watches me.. and I notice in class that he laughs at the jokes I say, but he won't call me. All my friends say he's coming back.. but when? Its so hard because he was my first love.. my first everything. What do I do? I really need your help. He also said in a text message the night we broke up that I will always be apart of him even though we are not together. And he also told a friend that he might get back together.. he just wants to be single for awhile

Well you broke up with him in the first place, you probably broke his heart, but he respected your decission, now the tables have turned.
Give him time.

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Originally Posted by heather2007

[F]

thanks for taking the time to read this.

My Ex boyfriend and were together for 3 and a half years.. I broke up with him in the beginning of the summer because I was having a bad time in my life.. and I needed to learn how to be independent.. and to see if i really loved him. Well basically I still saw him in the summer.. and fell in love with him all over again. Maybe I never stopped.. but anyways, He would not get back together with me. Well that felt like something just shot through my heart. Well, I cried and was so depressed I threatened on killing myself. Well then a week later he kissed me and told me he loved me. IT was great. Then 2 weeks later he broke up with me. Its like hes playing a game. Now i havent talked to him in 10 days and its KILLING ME. I dont wanna call him because I am waiting for him. All my friends say he stares at me.. and watches me.. and I notice in class that he laughs at the jokes I say, but he wont call me. All my friends say hes coming back.. but when? Its so hard because he was my first love.. my first everything. What do I do? I really need your help. He also said in a text message the night we broke up that I will always be apart of him even though we are not together. And he also told a friend that he might get back together.. he just wants to be single for awhile

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If he cannot relize that you having a hard time and that you need some space... I am sorry hun but I don't think he was ever really yours. He needs to see it from where you stand... not from where he does... explain that to him... and then see where it goes from there.

I'd move on. This love is done.

He was heart broken over the break... then he had a chance to get you back - then he didn't want you. Happens all the time.

You hurt for life. He's done. You did the break.

Hate to be the one to tell you but he is making sure you are good and miserable and he is using his friends to help him, He's going to make sure of total control this time and if you think your sick now, you just wait till he makes his move and your totally humiliated. You have set up in your mind not only guilt but a dependence that you don't need. You did well breaking up with him in the first place and you should have left it at that. You must break this cycle to be free to look at the world of reality and forget that make-believe stuff. How many high school girls that you know of actually know what love is? Be honest and move on, and get control back.

I think the more time you spend pining over him, and thinking about him, is time you can spend grabbing hold of your newfound independence and getting out there in the world. This kind of 'love', as you call it, will only begin to hurt more and more as you try to pursue it. He could very easily be playing headgames, and that isn't good.

Take yourself away from that, and concentrate on you, because at the end of situations like this, 'you' is the only thing that really matters. Take care. :)

Tal - I'd spread the love - but can't. That's what I was trying to say.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by heather2007

[F]

thanks for taking the time to read this.

My Ex boyfriend and were together for 3 and a half years.. I broke up with him in the beginning of the summer because I was having a bad time in my life.. and I needed to learn how to be independent.. and to see if i really loved him. Well basically I still saw him in the summer.. and fell in love with him all over again. Maybe I never stopped.. but anyways, He would not get back together with me. Well that felt like something just shot through my heart. Well, I cried and was so depressed I threatened on killing myself. Well then a week later he kissed me and told me he loved me. IT was great. Then 2 weeks later he broke up with me. Its like hes playing a game. Now i havent talked to him in 10 days and its KILLING ME. I dont wanna call him because I am waiting for him. All my friends say he stares at me.. and watches me.. and I notice in class that he laughs at the jokes I say, but he wont call me. All my friends say hes coming back.. but when? Its so hard because he was my first love.. my first everything. What do I do? I really need your help. He also said in a text message the night we broke up that I will always be apart of him even though we are not together. And he also told a friend that he might get back together.. he just wants to be single for awhile

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My boyfriend and I were going out 3 years on and off mainly for him going threw hard times. I was hurt as ever because he didn't think how much that would hurt me. He saw me again and wanted to get back together. I didn't know what to do... the love of my life leaves me then just asks me back out like nother ever happened. I wish I wouldn't have said yes. Hes just looking out for himself because that's what you were doing.

Are you still with him?

OK. But what about all the staring.. and he texted me that he could never hate me.. and could never not talk to me again. He is always laughing at jokes and such. It just seems as if he's coming back.. I just don't want to get my hopes up. I know I am though.. which sucks

Just ignore him, you are better off without him. He's doing everything he can to get your attention (and not in a good way). Don't get your hopes up, dear. If he really wanted you, he'd just tell you instead of playing mindgames.

Your breaking up with him was probably a sign of ambivalence on your part so it's only natural that he's now reluctant to get back with you. I'm not saying that you didn't have good reason to break up with him but when you make a decision like that you've got to be prepared and willing to accept the consequences, good or bad. Now, as far as possibly getting him back goes, don't pursue him. In fact, have no contact with him at all. You said you broke up with him because you had to learn how to be independent, so now's a good time to learn and to put that learning to use. Get on with your life and get busy. Do the things you enjoy, with both yourself and others. Make yourself realize and let him see that you don't need him in order to be happy. Date other guys and hang out with your girlfriends. Once he realizes that you don't need him, he'll have to make his moves to get you back. If it's meant to be, then he will.

He still loves you, love is kind of forever as much as you don't want it to be. He probably doesn't want to hurt you in any way, but he knows he can't be hurt again.

Breaking up is for good and only takes one to do it. Taking a break (as in being separeated) is different and mutually arranged by both parties. They are often confused by inexperienced or immature people. No harm done in that, but now you know the difference. I hope you apply your lesson well in the future. :rolleyes:

Follow up

Hey guys! Well I am very proud of myself. I haven't been in touch with my ex who broke up with me since the last post.. ( problably not very long but! ) anyway he texted me on Sunday and then he talked to me in school..? Weird.. think its just friends or could he be missing me. When he texted it was " Hey how are you doin today" and I am like " good. You?" and he goes " Ok" And I am like " sweet.." and in school he yelled my name across class and waved me over to look at a picture. Hmmm.. I am doing much better.. but this is kind of a mixed signal I need help with! Thanks! :)

It will carry on coming as a mixed signal if you keep msging each other..