Lately things have been going kind of crazy my girl and I fight about sex my kids are starting to hate me people I know act like I'm bothering them when I call to say hi and my job is looking like its about to end my question is should I pick up and move to Alaska without saying a word to anybody I found work availibily out there also a place to stay should I leave my family and so called friends without a word or stick it out and continue to try to make it here. If I leave it will be silent and quick

[QUOTE=bluepalm25;1947358 should I leave my family and so called friends without a word or stick it out and continue to try to make it here. If I leave it will be silent and quick[/QUOTE]

So you are intending to run away from your commitments, children, etc.. You want to make it silent and quick. You want to be free of restraints and just abandon everything.

This would be a coward's way out. Stick around and make a better life for you and others.

Tick

Running away isn't going to solve your problems. Your problems will always be behind you and it can catch up to you. Furthermore, you can have new problems in Alaska, and then what? Run away again?

Sit down and list out your problems one by one. Then try to fix each problem one by one.

Here are a few pointers to help you out.

1) If you have having fights with your gf/wife (as you did not specify), then confront her about it in a calm and respectable manner. Don't add fuel to the fire by arguing back. Take the high road and be the calmer person when talking. Show some maturity and try to work things out. If things don't work out, then break up, but that doesn't mean that you leave the city, because you have commitments to your children.

2) I'm not sure what you say to your friends, but maybe you can confront them and ask them why they are bothered. I'm sure it's not that simple. If it's your problem, then fix it. If it's their problem, then maybe it's time to find new friends. But it still doesn't mean that you should run away.

3) If your job is looking like it's going to end, then work harder to try to keep it. If it doesn't work out and it's out of your control, then try to find another job in the same city first. Don't forget, you have children, so you have big commitments. So their best interest comes first before your own.

WHoa hold it there my friend!

This is crazy because I just read an article about people who just up and vanish to start a new life yesterday in Wired Magazine Sep. issue. And I just joined this site and you are the first question I stumbled upon.

Maybe I was meant to tell you that thousands of people do this every year for a thousand reasons, debt, family obligations, etc... and none of them follow through more than 6 months.

Why?

Because it sounds easy and refreshing at first, running away and starting a new life, but after the honeymoon is over (the first month) you start missing your family and your friends. You get tired of making up new names and pretending to be this and that and lying when people ask you about your past life. I mean think about it! In this day in age, with all the digital social site, electronic banking, email, cell phones you can't disappear. They will find you.

Think about it this way brother. What's the longest you've gone without seeing your wife and kids, your best friend, etc. It may seem like THEY DON"T love you but they do and YOU might feel like you DON"T need them... but you do. You NEED your family

Have you ever thought that maybe since you acting and feeling like nobody likes you, you might be down and depressed?

You fight with your wife... who doesn't?

Your kids hate you... what kids don't go through that stage?

Your about to get fired... whose not about to get fired right now?

Do you remember the last time one of your friends called you and sounded depressed and negative, did YOU really want to talk to them or were you itching to get off the phone?

Try a different attitiude before running away. Be happier today and smile a little more and see what kind of response you get from everybody.

There is an old saying - "you can run, but you can't hide".

Put simply, you can never hide from yourself. Whatever problems you are creating and are part of your life, they are part of you and you can't run away from yourself.

Run to Alaska by all means, but you know who will be waiting for you? You.

"happiness is not doing what you like but liking what you do" but liking what you do or the situation you are in is tough.sometimes we might unkowingly trap ourselves in afixed way of thinking or become too negative. You can start by repeating to yourself that the there is no situation better than the current one . When you hate someone think" this person is the best person on the planet"
Take a vacation if you are stressed out.. take your kids and your significant other. Set your priorities and start working on them.
Try and do something you enjoy as part of your daily routine , something simple like drinking cofee or reading the paper.
This should help you a lot to de-stree.

Do ou believe in prayer? Try it!

Why do you hate your job? Its recession time.. shouldn't you be glad you have one?
Make a note on all the things that are going smoothly (your blessings ) you might be taking a lot of things for granted things which could have gone wrong but didn't...

Hope this helps.
Good luck.

Bluepalm: you haven't been back since the 27th of August, so if you still haven't run away to Alaska... I'm going to say this even if you have.

Like the others have pointed out, at some points in our lives everything is either at a stand still or you feel like the sky has just opened up and the stuff that's pouring down on you isn't rain, or water...

You should make a list, of the problems that you can fix and the ones you can't.

Once you have done this it might be easier to get a grasp on the situation.

If your job situation is out of your control, I suggest that you either try to look for a new one.. or how about taking the family to Alaska? (not that this would make your kids any happier, but if you have a job waiting there... then you're at least covered in the job department)

As for running away, it never works! You will always have to live with you at the end of each day, no matter where you are and no matter who you have in your life.

Personally, I used to suffer from depression (when I was younger) and I couldn't stand to live in the same place more then a year or so at the time. At first I thought that each new apt. was such a promise of hope, and renewal... but then a depression would set in, my x boyf and I would start fighting over small, silly things and I'd hate that place to... this might seem like a silly comparison to running away to Alaska, and in some way it is... because I didn't leave my entire life behind, kids and all... but at the end of the day we all have to live with ourselves and the choices we make

... and what I'm trying to say here is that you can chance something's in your life and that is the things you can control...

so make that list, and try to look at what you can control, what you can change and start working on that... and try to let go of the things that are out of your hands.

Hope this was of some help!

Roxy