Ask Me Help Desk - I'm in love with him, but people are wrecking our relationship.

I'm in love with him, but people are wrecking our relationship.

OK well,
Me and my boyfriend have been a "strong couple" like I don't gett to see him a lot but we are coping.
But recently one of his family friends has been tlking to me about him saying all this stuff, then I found out she was lying,
Then, his ex got herself involved in my relationship with my boyfriend.
She was calling me a slut, whore and all that stuff and saying stuff behind my back to my boyfriend.
He got upset and so did I.
Everything went back to normal until the family friend stared again.
Why won't she leave me alone? She likes a different guy and I don't know what's her problem.

Help me please.
Because at the moment I'm concittering of breaking up with him.
If things are going to be like this all the time.

I don't know what to do.
:'(

Hey.. could I ask what ages are you both?

16

Quote:

Originally Posted by jessegurl95

16

Sorry but I would be done with it. You are too young to be dealing with this kind of drama. It is absolutely immature and just isn't reality. Split and enjoy your life as a child should be doing.

You have a good point there,
But I love him.
I can't change that.:confused:

You are 16 and there will be many more "loves" to experience. Love shouldn't involve drama and name calling, that isn't right. You owe it to yourself to get out of this situation, believe me. I am 26 and I wouldn't put up with that drama, so I KNOW at 16 I would have been gone... just isn't worth it.

Bottom line, you are young, enjoy life at all costs!!! Just have fun and leave the drama and silly stuff for those who want it...

Mmmm I gues so.
Thanks

Are you a slut? A whore? If not, then don't let childish name-calling bother you. She could call you a walrus, would that bother you? Go study and be successful in your life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kctiger

You are 16 and there will be many more "loves" to experience. Love shouldn't involve drama and name calling, that isn't right. You owe it to yourself to get out of this situation, believe me. I am 26 and I wouldn't put up with that drama, so I KNOW at 16 I would have been gone...just isn't worth it.

Bottom line, you are young, enjoy life at all costs!!! Just have fun and leave the drama and silly stuff for those who want it...

Deal with it. So what if they're 16? Everything you experience during relationships at a young age is just something you learn from. You're 26 and you wouldn't put up with that drama, that's your own fair decision it has nothing to do with your age. I've dealt with like that and I'm only 17. Yeah, I've got a lot of things to learn but as I continue with my relationship I'll learn a lot more and I'll go for what I want.

Backing out from people chattin about your relationship just shows that you don't entirely want that relationship. You're not willing to fight for it. It's hard to deal with because well I know the feeling, mines was tough because it was a mixed race clash but eventually our families accepted it and it's all good now. Leaving the drama and "silly" stuff is the same as walking away from the reality of relationships and how things can get. Looking for an easy relationship which requires minimal effort is just going to break apart so quickly.

If it's easy for you to get over ths then well go for it by all means. If it's hard for you, if you feel that little side in you that doesn't want to give up on it and wants to do something about it, stick to your relationship. As long as you've got your partner beside you, it should be fine.. right? That's all you need init?

Quote:

Originally Posted by QNal

Deal with it. So what if they're 16? Everything you experience during relationships at a young age is just something you learn from. You're 26 and you wouldn't put up with that drama, that's your own fair decision it has nothing to do with your age. I've dealt with like that and i'm only 17. Yeah, i've got a lot of things to learn but as I continue with my relationship i'll learn a lot more and i'll go for what i want.

Backing out from people chattin about your relationship just shows that you don't entirely want that relationship. You're not willing to fight for it. It's hard to deal with because well I know the feeling, mines was tough because it was a mixed race clash but eventually our families accepted it and it's all good now. Leaving the drama and "silly" stuff is the same as walking away from the reality of relationships and how things can get. Looking for an easy relationship which requires minimal effort is just going to break apart so quickly.

If it's easy for you to get over ths then well go for it by all means. If it's hard for you, if you feel that little side in you that doesn't want to give up on it and wants to do something about it, stick to your relationship. As long as you've got your partner beside you, it should be fine.. right? That's all you need init?

You have a misguided view of KC's comment.

Yes, experiencing relationship's is also a learning process, but love is not a reason to overlook red flags. Dating and being single are just as important to the learning process because it helps you understand yourself and love who you are, which is more important than anything you will learn in a relationship.

When you love and know who you are, which is still unclear at 16/17, then you have the tools to find relationship with potential and the knowledge of making a relationship work without giving up yourself or clinging to a relationship as a safety net.

No message... see Justy's comments...

Well put Justy, that is why you are the expert. :cool:

QNal: sure, age might have little to do with it and yes you learn from experience... but there are just as many lessons to learn by letting go.. as in holding on. The difference is; the outcome.

But with age... you hopefully learn and grow through life experiences... and you learn what you will put up with, what you won't put up with etc...

Quote:

Originally Posted by QNal

Leaving the drama and "silly" stuff is the same as walking away from the reality of relationships and how things can get.

I really disagree with the sentiment in this... if I was experiencing drama like this (family friends, x girlfriend ) Iwould be MORE then shocked (and yes like KC I'm 26) There is a time and place for everything and I might have put up with drama like this when I was 16... but at the age of 26.. no frigging way!

And yes, by backing out you do show that its not worth it, but at the age of 16...

As for the OP... I agree with KC... personally I would let go.

you don't get to see him that much and on top of everything you have to deal with a bunch of immature drama I understand that you love him and that is not something you can change... and if you want to continue with the relationship.. I would suggest that you find away (pref. together with you BF) to make them stop with the drama and stop with the S**t throwing behind your back.

Life is too short to waste it on drama and a sense of dissatisfaction!

I am totally open to your opinion Q, but I sometimes give advice as if I am a parent... thus, what would I tell my child or even a very close friend to do in this situation, taking into account all the information the OP has told me... and my advice still remains to walk away from the drama before things have an opportunity to really get out of hand.