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-   -   How do you end a 15 year relationship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=390542)

  • Aug 18, 2009, 08:48 PM
    mama3455
    :confused:
    I've been in a relationship for 15 years the last 5 or so years I have'nt been happy or felt loved an I want out how do I tell him
  • Aug 18, 2009, 08:50 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    You just tell them if you are sure. If it is at this point, they should know anyway.

    Have you tried counseling to try and work itout
  • Aug 18, 2009, 08:56 PM
    mama3455
    No. No counseling we don't talk much it's just that I don't know how to tell him.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 09:39 PM
    mama3455

    Easyer said them done..
  • Aug 18, 2009, 10:09 PM
    dincher

    Are you married to that person?

    Why not just try to work things out? If the other person doesn't know you want out, that means that you haven't really discussed what makes you unhappy with them.
  • Aug 25, 2009, 09:52 PM
    asking

    Tell him what you just said.

    Would you consider counseling?

    Do you have children?
  • Aug 25, 2009, 10:43 PM
    mama3455

    I don't thing there's anything to save... were not married and we don't have any children together.. he has 1 and I have 2 there all adults.. it's hard to tell him I know what I want to say and how I want to say it but it won't come out... I love him but I'm not in love with him.
  • Aug 26, 2009, 04:53 AM
    Bluefish23

    He surely must know some spark has fled over the past half decade. Perhaps he is also in a similar situation, but doesn't know how to say it...
  • Aug 26, 2009, 05:04 AM
    redhed35

    Hey..
    15 years is a long time..
    If its what you want.. make time to talk to him..
    Write down what you want to say,don't wing it!
    Be clear.. and understand that this may be totally out of the blue to him..
    Gather support behind you,even though your ready to separate it will still be emotionally hard..
    Just start with... we need to talk,I'm not happy,I want out... or words to that effect...
    But be clear..
  • Aug 26, 2009, 05:49 AM
    Elousia

    Try falling in love again with him...
  • Aug 26, 2009, 07:48 AM
    I wish

    Just be honest about your feelings with him.

    After 15 years, he deserves honesty from you regardless of what you have to say.
  • Aug 26, 2009, 09:02 AM
    xadmin
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Elousia View Post
    try falling in love again with him.....

    Bad idea. After 15 years together, I think the love and spark is totally gone. Break off with him and see how you feel being single
  • Aug 26, 2009, 09:23 AM
    talaniman
    Wait a second, I smell a rat here. Is there someone else? Somewhere you rather be?/ What has changed?

    Why can't you talk to someone after 15 freakin' years?
  • Aug 26, 2009, 11:27 AM
    Sooo Confused

    I got dumped after ten years, and he did not even give me a reason other than I have not been in love with you for two months, I was like WHAT?? I did not know where it was coming from, but guess what? I took some time to reflect, and I am glad he ended it with me, and it was better off for us in the end, don't prolong it thinking it will hurt him, it will hurt anyway, just give him and yourself a chance to find what makes you happy in life, and it is not fair to string him along to make you feel less guilty. If you really loved him, you would let him go to find someone that he deserves to be with, to be happy with. You are just being selfish if you keep him around because you are a coward and don't want to list reasons for the breakup. Give him a little respect.
  • Aug 26, 2009, 11:32 AM
    Justwantfair
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by xadmin View Post
    Bad idea. After 15 years together, I think the love and spark is totally gone. Break off with him and see how you feel being single

    The only way the love and sparks can leave a relationship is when you stop working on the relationship.

    That said five years is a long time to be unhappy and not doing anything about it! You aren't married, no children together, if you can walk away from a fifteen year investment feeling like you gave you 100% or you are happy walking away knowing you gave 2%, it's your choice, but fifteen years is a long investment and you should have been working on the return of your investment for the last fifteen years.

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