Ask Me Help Desk - I am more attracted to older men than guys my age

I am more attracted to older men than guys my age

I am more attracted to older men than guys my age, & most of them are married.

To date guys my age doesn't make sense
To me, they always sound immature & unsure of their next move & I hate to be with someone who has no direction.

But unfortunately the older ones always hurt me. They just tend to walk away from me when I am so crazy about them. Ussually going back to their wives or exs.

Is there something wrong with me ?
Please help

Is there something wrong with you? Yes, you date married guys. Of course there going back to there wives.

Have you ever thought about dating single guys no matter how old they are?

Married -stay away.find someone who s not attached unless you want to continue this downward spiral of heartache.

First of all, how old are you? There is nothing wrong with being more attracted to older guys, just not married guys or guys with a girlfriend.

Perhaps you are attracting the wrong guys.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

Is there something wrong with you? Yes, you date married guys. Of course there going back to there wives.

Have you ever thought about dating single guys no matter how old they are?

OK maybe there is, but I dated a guy & ended up having a baby with him. He now want to control me to an extend of telling me not to do my hobbies.

We broke up & I dated the man who's giving me a headache right now [he is married ] now my ex controlling freak want to come back. So I don't know--do I end the affair & go back to where I once ran away from ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by priderose

ok maybe there is, but I dated a guy & ended up having a baby with him. he now want to control me to an extend of telling me not to do my hobbies.

we broke up & I dated the man who's giving me a headache right now [he is married ] now my ex controlling freak want to come back. so I don't know--do I end the affair & go back to where I once ran away from ?

No, you get your own act together and focus on your child. That is the responsible thing to do, not worry about a man who clearly isn't good for you.

You can't go from one disaster to another.find your inner happiness-then you ll find the right partner.

There is nothing wrong with you. You just haven't learned, after repeated mistakes to leave the guys alone, and handle your business better.

You will keep making the same mistakes again, and again, until you make better choices, and DECISIONS, than you are now.

Leave the guys alone, and find better ways of spending your time. Then maybe you will be able to avoid getting carried away by your attractions, and feelings of attraction, and look before you leap into such stupid situations.

Quote:

Originally Posted by priderose

ok maybe there is,

No, not maybe. The answer is yes, there is something wrong when you date a married man. Not maybe, not perhaps, not it's okay this time, but yes actually very wrong.

Quote:

Originally Posted by priderose

but I dated a guy & ended up having a baby with him. he now want to control me to an extend of telling me not to do my hobbies.

Well that guy is not right for you. You have your own life to live and you should do it with fulfillment including your hobbies. Just because he was single doesn't mean he's right or gives him the right to control you.

But that really brings us to the married guy. You dated him because he was safe. He could not control you because he had a family to run to. So you, in your mind, were in control because of his marriage. You could back out anytime with no guilt.

Quote:

Originally Posted by priderose

we broke up & I dated the man who's giving me a headache right now [he is married ] now my ex controlling freak want to come back. so I don't know--do I end the affair & go back to where I once ran away from ?

You date neither of them. In fact you should date nobody for now and sort of date yourself. Find out who you are, how strong you are as an independent woman. Find out what your rules and boundaries are for a relationship. If you have none, make some. You will put up with X but not Y. Then when you find that out you can date again, and you can do it on your terms.

I do not understand you at all.
You fall for married men or making a baby with a single guy without marriage. What is wrong with you really? You have no self-esteem, ground rules, or basic standard. Please look hard to figure out who you are. The married men you slept with were not your lovers but cheaters, and we do not call 'sleeping with married men' as relationship. You just had empty sex with them, and fell for them by your own confusion. What a mess.

First of all, admit your problem, regain dignity and self-esteem. Life is not about having fun by sleeping with multiple guys and keeping your hobby.

Second of all, always the biological father is the best caregiver for the baby & you, not any other men in this earth. The baby carries his DNA, and the man will love you & your baby with his pure heart. It is nature's call. What is your hobby the father of baby does not like? You obviously have no standards, do not know how to make right choices, and do not control yourself at all, and I assume he might saw the problem in you & try to fix you somehow. It does not make any sense you made a baby with the man without any plan, and left him compulsively not to be controlled, and chose another married man to fail. Please grow up, you are a mother now, and you cannot make mistake one after another anymore.

My advice is, if the father of the baby is not that bad, go back to him, talk to him sincerely to build the constructive & healthy relationship together. You are far from perfect, and you guys can help each other to be better person for the sake of the baby at this time. Please fall in love with him, get married and raise the baby together with love. Good Luck!