Hi everyone.. :confused:
I don't even know where to begin - I'm a 25 yr old female - and ever since I was younger I've always loved sex. I am in a relationship now for almost 2 years with my wonderful boyfriend- he is amazing I really do love him. We are a LDR relationship and I get sexually frustrated ( I would never cheat on my boyfriend ) so I turn to porn. I am so addicted to any porn that has Rocco Siffredi in it … and its been getting really nuts. I would go to sleep thinking of Rocco and wakes up thinking of him…i'd rush home from work just to watch Rocco… and I would search all over the net just for any news or info on him - I read his whole biography so I know so much about him… I'm so jealous of his wife and his two sons I wish that it was me who gets to spend my life with him - its nuts I tell ya….I don't know if its LDR that is causing me to be like this - I am so in love with my boyfriend I've never cheated - never even looked at another guy before when we were living together.

Lately I've even googled ways to get into the porn industry just so I can do scenes with Rocco …like I'd do whatever it takes to meet him - have sex with him …
I can't believe I get jealous when I see other porn stars with him - I just wish that I could be with him even if it is just once….

What is wrong with me? I have no idea but I am scaring myself with my obsession. Its like I am outside looking in at myself and I can't seem to just stop all of this. I wish I never knew of him I was so normal before.. now I keep watching his videos over and over , reading his bio over and over and my heart just beats really fast all the time when I see him… he's also 45 which is 20 years older than me and I know I'll never get to meet him in this lifetime. It takes up so much of my time that I could use towards other things that would be beneficial to me. Instead I spend all of my free time obsessing over Rocco - who doesn't even know I exist nor gives me a second of his time.

I just want to get rid of this obsession…please any advice will be so appreciated..

I don't know who that guy is, but it Does sound like it has gone the next step into being an out and out obsession. Right now, perhaps you should decide to see a mental health specialist.
If that doesn't suit you, then it's time to cut back on this guy. Take out some of the porn, and maybe you won't feel as obsessed with him. Plus, you Know he just does that for work reasons, and he isn't Really like that.
Getting into the real world and things in it will help you too.

Checklist:

Camera w/ telephoto lens - check
Scissors and pushpins to make wall of articles and photos - check
Lease on cheesy apartment with a view of his front door/bedroom window - check
Assumed name on lease - check
Bus tickets (can't fly, too classy) - check
Gun with enough ammo for wife and both kids - check

A-stalking you shall go.

You'll make some budding creative writing student a fine subject for his first crime novel.

Get over yourself!

Thing to think about for you
Porn stars >men especially his age have to take a pill to get hard for the cameras so that is what you are seeing your jealous of his wife? I feel sorry for her.
It's the differnce between a real life and a reel life.your boyfriend is real

You stated it ,it is an obsession and you need to get help to get over it.
Watch the show obsession ,they give you great insight on how to overcome these life stealer's.
Obsessions steal your life.It is an addiction.

Obsessions are dangerous. Seek counseling fast. You said that you would NEVER cheat on your boyfriend. Then you said you want to be a porn star JUST to have sex with this guy. You see what I mean? It is dangerous. Get help before it goes any further. Go tell your boyfriend the truth, so it may become real to you. Now it is a fantasy. Stop watching porn if you have to, but shake this nonsense out of your head. You're here, talking to us about it. Isn't that crazy? Who knows to what extent you'll go? Good luck to you.

Maybe you could get a job as one of his "Fluff" girls and if you don't know what that is someone will tell you.

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Originally Posted by letmetellu

Maybe you could get a job as one of his "Fluff" girls and if you don't know what that is someone will tell you.

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Is it bad that I know what that is? :o

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Is it bad that I know what that is? :o

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No. It's actually pretty cool. And exciting. I thought your picture was familiar. (tee hee)

Although many of the readers might laugh at your obsession, I sort of understand. My sisters were completely obsessed with the lead male singer of an Australian pop band in the 1980's and it was beyond normal and really weird. They wanted to BE with him and researched every aspect of his life, talked about him, dreamed about him. It WAS over the top.

However, it all stopped when they got boyfriends, went to university - in other words, when their focus changed.

One of the previous posters told you to 'get a life' - well, this is actually what you need to do to get over your obsession. Start going to the movies with friends, visit your long distance BF, join a book club, cook great meals, take a holiday, go to the gym, do a course of some description. Get busy and involved in other things.

Chuck out all the porno movies and remove Rocco from your Favorites on the internet. Remove him from your life. Don't even allow yourself to think about him when you're masturbating. Think about your BF instead.

He's consumed your thoughts and you need to go NC on him.

This is related to Geminis suggestion...

Do you enjoy any crafts?

Whenever you feel the urge to watch a movie with Rocco in it, pick up knitting needles, or a paintbrush and keep yourself busy.

Replace your obsession with him with something productive, you never know you could end up turning it into an at home business if you think about him a lot! :)

I know being addicted to cigarettes is slightly different but whenever I felt the urge to smoke while I was quitting I would start painting, it helped doing something that took my mind off my addiction.