So I admit that, from my perspective, I do think I tend to be clingy a little when I first start seeing someone. Not intentionally, but it's just that rush of being with someone new, so you want to see them all the time.

Well, I met a guy on Tuesday; we hung out for about 30 minutes, just to get a feel for each other. We ended up hanging out again on Thursday. We were supposed to have a date on Wednesday, but he ended up being really sick. We hung out on Thursday at his place and watched a movie with his roommate and one of his friends, and also played some Mario Go Kart on the Wii. He invited me over the next night (last night; Friday), and said that he owed me a cuddle and movie like he promised me. So we did just that. He said that he kind of liked me. I was like, oh, just kind of like me? He was like, well maybe a little more than like, but just a little. I thought everything went really well. He asked me before I left if he was going to get to see me this weekend. Jokingly I was like, maaaybe. And he kissed me before I left.

I talked to him today on Facebook and kind of casually asked what he was doing today and he told me. I was like, oh fun. He goes, why, what were you planning on doing? I told him not much. He blows glass for his job and he said if I wanted to, I could go to his shop with him and watch him do it. I told him sure; he said he would pick me up. We didn't end up going cause the guy who owns the shop wasn't there. So I asked if he would like to come out here (we live 20 minutes apart) and hang out with me. He said maybe, but it depends on what his roommate was going to be doing with the truck (they both share the same vehicle). I asked him a few hours later if he was going to come out here. He said he didn't think so cause his roommate was going to do something. So I asked him if he would like some company, and he said not really cause he was kind of still cleaning and gets easily distracted. So I told him I would talk to him later since he's busy.

Does this sound like clingy behavior? I'd really rather change it before it gets too worse. He did tell me that as far as a relationship goes, he just wants to keep things casual and see where they go, and take it slow. I do think I *may* have come off a little strong already. I don't even know what is acceptable when first starting to see someone in terms of how many days a week you see them. Granted, I've only known him for about 5 days now, so I think 3 out of 5 days might be a bit much. Not to mention we talk on Yahoo as well.

Should I just leave him be for a few days and give him some space? I mean, I obviously like the guy, but I don't want to send him running for the hills, if he hasn't already. It doesn't help that I don't start my new job until September 7th, so I do have a lot of free time on my hands. Should I decline next time he invites me to hang out? I do want to keep things interesting and I know some guys like mystery. I figured I would just wait for him to talk to me again, since it may be space he needs.

I don't think its clingy at all. After all he invited you over for the movie and cuddle and he invited you to his work. How does that make you clingy when he is doing the inviting? Just relax and go with it. But don't get your hopes up if he says he wants it casual, then leave it casual. He might be saying he wants it casual because he isn't sure yet of you, or he has other choices. But for now just have fun and relax.

I would wait, and let him contact you.

I sort of agree with both of the previous responses.. I would say that due to the simple fact that you are aware of the problem you have with attatchment, you will not over-do it.. Just keep an eye on yourself and keep it in check.

I don't think that's clingy when you meet someone new and both feel the same you talk for hrs and you don't want to be apart so I think this guy is just a casual fling not relationship type maybe

Threads merged

So this kind of goes along with my other post I made yesterday..

So I was talking to one of my guy friends about my situation with a guy that I've recently started seeing. Recent being less than a week. My guy friend told me that this guy is playing hard to get and I'm falling for it, when it should be the other way around. Now, I'm not new to dating, but I always thought it was the women that played hard to get, and the guys who chased them. I've heard lots of guys say they don't like to be chased, cause the women lose that "mystery". I'm not sure if I should take how he is being recently as not interested anymore or if I should still try to talk to him/make plans or if I should back off and wait for him to come around.

We hung out on Friday night for the second time, where we kissed and cuddled. And he asked me if he was going to get to see me this weekend, I told him maybe, but said it in a joking tone. He kissed me before I left to go home. He im'ed me the next day on Facebook and we talked a bit. I asked what his plans were. He told me and goes, why? What did you have going on? Since I had nothing to do, he said I could go to his shop with him but the guy didn't end up being there, so we didn't go. I invited him here, and at first he said maybe, but wasn't sure, then later he said he wasn't going to be able to come since his room mate had the truck, and they share it. I asked if he wanted some company and he said no cause he was still kind of cleaning and gets easily distracted. I told him I'd talk to him later since he was busy.

So what gives? Is this guy just all of a sudden not interested, or is he playing hard to get? He told me Friday night that he kind of liked me. I was like, oh, just kind of like? He was like, well maybe a bit more than like. I didn't think it was possible for someone's feelings to change THAT drastically over night.

Thoughts?

I don't think he's disinterested.. Maybe back off just a little bit and see if he comes to you. He is responding to your attempts at communication, that's a good sign. Even if you guys were in a relationship, which you're not.. You can't expect him to drop everything to spend time with you.. maybe he's really busy. I think it's okay.

One way to find out is see if he calls soon. Do your own thing, and see what happens.

Sounds like both of you are interested in each other. But he did mention that he wanted to take things slow. So just go with the flow.

I don't think that you're being clingy. You're just being yourself. If you want, just back off a bit and see if he contacts you, to see how interested he really is.

Just enjoy the time that you spend together and just keep getting to know each other. Just let things flow naturally.

Okay, so an update. A few days after all of that happened (what I described in my earlier post), he told me how he had gotten locked out of his house and the locks got changed. He was very brief and vague with me. So I assumed he wasn't interested anymore, so I didn't bother to contact him.

A week goes by and I still don't hear anything. Then I'm at my best friend's house in another state and he im's me and acts all excited to talk to me. He was like, sorry I haven't been able to get a hold of you all week. So we talk for a little bit. I pretty much had stopped talking to him on a regular basis.

2-3 days pass and he im's me again. He mentioned something about we need to have another movie night where we actually watch the movie (last time we ended up making out during it, haha). So I casually mentioned I was bored, so he offered to come and hang out with me. We watched a movie, and he kissed me before he left. He im'ed me again tonight and we talked and I went out there to see him (he lives about 15 minutes away).

We watched a movie tonight and of course kissed and all that jazz. He confessed to me that he more than likes me now. So I asked him what is he. He goes, I think I'm in like.

So I guess he's just one of those guys that needs a little space and doesn't want to talk to someone every day, and since he did say he wants to take things slow. I've also sort of started seeing another guy recently. Not sure if it's going to go anywhere, but I went on a date with him tonight and he wants to see me again today, so I'm just keeping my options open, but I am still very much interested in this first guy and it's nice to know that he is still interested as well.

O.K. is he needing a place to stay?
Why did he get thrown out of his last place?
Could you give him shelter?
Keep your options open.
What you have gotten so far from him is a good indication of what you will get in the future.
You might want to rethink this one.

He didn't get thrown out of his place. It's a complicated situation, but basically his roommate went to Georgia for a week and when the guy I am seeing went to work one day, he came home to find the locks changed so he was locked out of his place for a week or so. I asked him if he ever found out why they were changed, he said his roommates grandpa wouldn't tell him. I found out that his roommate's grandpa owns the house and they're technically not on a lease, so it's perfectly legal. I also found out last night that the grandpa doesn't know he is living there. He actually thinks the guy I am seeing and his roommate are gay, lol, since the roommate is gay. He doesn't know the guy I am seeing is staying there; he just thinks he is there all the time. But the roommate is moving back to Louisiana in a month or so, so the guy I am seeing is looking into getting a place with one of his friends.

But things seem to be going good since we didn't talk for that whole week. I'm not sure why I should re-think this. He has a rough patch right now, but nothing that should prevent me from wanting to see him.

Keep ALL your options open for now, and enjoy your dates. What's the hurry to jump in head first, and to deep to get out of??

The object of dating is to have fun getting to know someone.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Keep ALL your options open for now, and enjoy your dates. Whats the hurry to jump in head first, and to deep to get out of???

The object of dating is to have fun getting to know someone.

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Oh, I am. I'm not really sticking to one person just yet since no one has talked about wanting to be exclusive. I actually went on a date with a guy last night and he apparently wants to see me again today. So yeah, I am definitely keeping my options open and seeing what happens.

Kind of clingy. It is not that you are bing clingy but you are overthinking it. He obviously is not giving you as much thought as you are about him. You deserve the best and if he isn't the best do ot waste your time. You are beautiful and do not need him, but if you want him in your life, have patience and wait for him, keep busy, develop a hobby, and wait. If he does not contact you, move on. Been there done that. Guys will pursue what they want most. If he wants you he will pursue you. But never give in. always keep that mystery about you and never call him more than he calls you. Never call him more than noce in a day. Do not give him more power than he needs. He will crave you if you truly respect yourself. When you have self-respect you never have to beg or pursue, all you have to do is be yourself.