Ask Me Help Desk - Is it worth it?

To have your true love know you, love you and encourage you as your best friend is what anyone askes for. I had a high school sweet heart that was willing to give me the world in high school. Afraid I turned him down and went out into the world to live. Every relationship and man I would come in to contact I realized couldn't compare to him. I realized this after marry someone, having children and divorcing another man. Through out this process, I knew I couldn't shake it and found a mutual friend who reconnected us. Upon finding out he was married felt like a stab in the heart that could not be compared to anything. We reconnected and immediately felt everything that we meant to each other as strong as never before. We have confronted this and don't know how to be just friends. I understand to be in love with two people is possible. But how can we let go? Can we still be friends? I would rather be his friend for the rest of my life and see him happy with another woman (even though I know I can make him happier) then to loose him forever. Is this possible? I feel the only way for me to let go is for him to break my heart, telling me that he is in love with someone else and we can be no longer. But he says he can't get me out of his system. I can't get him out of mine either. After with discussions with others the question has arose that his wife with all our conversations and recconnections ( a year+), his wife should feel something is going on and should be sensning something and if that is the case, could possibly doing her dirt on her side too. What do you thinl

I think he's married and you need to move on. You've been friends again for more than a year and he hasn't left his wife for you, chances are he won't. Move on, no contact is best.

Yes time to let this go.do you still want to be in this situation in a years time? You must find a life for yourself.let this go.

What you really want is a relationship with a man that you knew as a boy, back in high school.

Maybe you are looking for love in all the wrong places. I don't doubt that you have feelings for each other, but to pursue a married man, no matter how you feel, is just not right in my opinion.

He's not available. I question the morals of your friend that would connect you to a married man too. She also sounds like trouble.

If you had not acted on her finding him, you would not be hoping that he'll leave his wife so you can make him happier, and fulfill this dream you have. The more you think he is available, and say that somehow because his wife hasn't caught on, maybe she is cheating on him, is really ridiculous.

You cannot justify doing what you are doing, no matter how you try, and no matter how you feel. This isn't high school, he's not single, and this isn't child's play.

You are setting yourself up for disappointment, he is putting his marriage in peril. If the two of you were meant to be together, and he is the one and only, and you are his one and only, it probably would have happened a few decades ago don't you think?

Please leave married men alone, do us married women a favour and find somebody single and available.

Do you have an obsessive personality?

You've hung on for too long. If he felt the same as you he would have not married and searched for you.

Stop feeding this thing you call "true love" and cut all ties with him. You need to.

Either you destroy his marriage to be with him, or wait for 50 years till his wife dies then marry him OR you could move on and live a happy life and find someone that'll give you a fresh perspective on love.

From reading your post you sound like your still in high school. "I feel the only way for me to let go is for him to break my heart, telling me that he is in love with someone else..."- hello he's married, of course he loves someone else.

This is immature behavior. Grow up. Let go of high school dreams. He's married to her not you. Even if he did say he can't get you out of his system who cares- he's married and he's telling you this. It doesn't make you special; he's emotionally cheating on his wife [at least I believe so].

If cheats for you, he will cheat on you. If he lies for you, he will lie to you.

Sarah

Hasn't your divorce taught you anything? Your choices are flawed, and decisions are unrealistic, as "true love" is an action between two people, not some fantasy feeling.

Get real with yourself, and your feelings, because you have wasted a year of your life in LALA Land, fed by fantasy, and false hope, that this long lost true love of yours, will make your life better.

He still holds you as an option to his own life, while you have not done a darn thing for your own emotional health.

That's no way to live, waiting on a married man to pay you some attention, and hope he takes it further.

Love yourself lady, and get a life that reflects that love, or your mind will continue to play tricks on you.

A married man equals heartache living a fantasy is harming your chances of finding real happiness..

One of the reasons that people cling to old relationships from the past and see them as so grand is because you have not had any bad experiences together.

The only memories you have are great because you have not had the relationship tested by the day to day issues that couples inevitably face.

It is a fantasy.

Quote:

I would rather be his friend for the rest of my life and see him happy with another woman (even though I know I can make him happier)

You have no clue who could make him happier.That is an assumption that you can't possibly back up.Regardless of what he has told you about his wife,you can't know that with any surety.

There will always be things in this life that we want but morality dictates that we have restraint and do not destroy others for our desires.

Since you both appear to be so smitten as to have problems with restraint,you need to stop all contact.

Your not in high school anymore!