I have an issue that I have been working with my wife for about 12 years now! My wife wants out and cheat on me 3 or 4 time with the same guy. She step out when our first son was turning 0ne, let me tell you I was doing everything I was working two job and taking care of child while putting her back in school. While I know that something was going on, so I call her and I told her I know she is somebody else, she say no at first than I told her I had proof and if you do not tell me the true now she should find someplace else to live until she ready to tell me the true so she told the true! But I also know that she was pregnant but she did not know that so she takes the test and yes she was, but she said it was mine because she use a condom, but she could have been lying! So after the child was born she given me a ring saying that she love me and she was sorry for everything, but a week after that I find out that she was able to have sex with some other guy at her new job, I am almost put him to the wall but I had my first son with me and I know if I did not have him with me I would be in Jail today so I thank god for that. But I want to know will I every truly get pass what she has done to me? She is a great mother and a great wife now, when she on her game, but it is just that I know most of the time a dog with be a dog male or female. You know no one ever really talk about how much woman are out her sleeping around on their man but they do not want to leave the man, just like many of the man who are out here doing what the hell they want to. So will it pass it been 12 year?

I don't understand whether she has continued to cheat on you for 12 years OR whether this happened some time ago.

If she's cheated 3 or 4 times I don't see her changing.

What do you want to happen? Do you want to stay with her or not?

Maybe you should consider some marriage counselling. It seems like both of you want to make this marriage work out somehow, so get some professional help to assist you.

If this happen 12 yrs ago than you made the decision to stay and you SHOULD have forgiven her for it
But it sounds like you have not truly forgiven her and that is what is causing you the proublems

My understanding is that this all happened 12 years ago, and that the 3 or 4 times were part of the same affair. Jenkins can't seem to forgive and forget though. I can't think of any reason to rock the boat at this point, though he might want to try to figure out why he's feeling like this is an issue now.

Jenkins, have you been feeling insecure lately? Trouble at work or some other problems? Or have you been harboring this resentment and she knows you have never got over it?

You have to let this go, man!!

Are you seriously saying that you have not gotten over her affairs?

The one affair was over 12 years ago, and the second was unclear as to when it happened. Was this also several years ago?

If you are still tortured by what she did, and you cannot come to terms with it, you absolutely must get counselling, for yourself, and for you and your wife. While you hang onto this anger and resentment, she gets the guilt you probably bring up because you don't trust her for something that happened a long time ago.

I'm not saying that it wasn't wrong what she did, but, if you two are still together, you have to find a way to put this monster to rest.

Sounds to me like it will not pass. You have a pattern she has you use to accepting the pattern. She knows that she gets away with it.

No nothing is going to change.
She most likely isn't happy with married life but for some reason feels stuck in the relationship or sees no reason to get out of it when she can have the best of two worlds.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jenkinsdesign

I know most of the time a dog with be a dog male or female.
?

---

Most of the time yes but not ALL
And especially when there is time and history together

With your last line surprised at number of woman cheating
You have trust issues that need to be addressed