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-   -   Boyfriend would rather look at porn than have sex with me. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=388877)

  • Aug 20, 2009, 10:48 AM
    UnluckyLady79
    Boyfriend would rather look at porn than have sex with me.
    I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years, we have 1 child. Sex has always been a little bit of a rollercoaster. Somestimes once a day, sometimes once a week. We haven't had sex in 2 1/2 months. But I've looking in the history on the computer and its full of porn. Even this morning before 30 minutes before he left for work, while I was sleeping. I don't mind him looking at porn, but I'd like to still be intimate with him. I doubt he is cheating on me. We work at the same place and I HIGHLY DOUBT he'd sleep with any of our co workers. Other than that, he is never out of the house. I don't think he stopped being attracted to me, because the porn he looks at have women that look similar to me. And its not that I'm not willing. I'm always TRYING to fondle him or kiss on him. He just tells me to stop. I'm just downright confused. I've asked him about it and he says nothing is wrong. Any ideas? :confused:
  • Aug 20, 2009, 12:11 PM
    smoothy
    Don't equate porn with him wanting to be with you intimately... totally separate issues in a guys mind.

    Has he been under a lot of stress at work? Any medications? Has he seen a doctor recently for a complete physical to make sure he doesn't have high blood pressure of diabetes that's yet untreated?

    Actually most guyys do like a woman that's forward about her needs and wants... I personally like it when my wife gropes my package on her own initiative.
  • Aug 20, 2009, 12:25 PM
    UnluckyLady79
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Don't equate porn with him wanting to be with you intimately.....totally seperate issues in a guys mind.

    Has he been under a lot of stress at work? Any medications? Has he seen a doctor recently for a complete physical to make sure he doesn't have high blood pressure of diabetes thats yet untreated?

    Actually most guyys do like a woman thats forward about her needs and wants....I personally like it when my wife gropes my package on her own initiative.

    I don't think he has been under any more stress than usual at work. He has seen a dr within the last year and all his labs and were normal.
  • Aug 20, 2009, 01:01 PM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by UnluckyLady79 View Post
    I don't think he has been under any more stress than usual at work. He has seen a dr within the last year and all his labs and were normal.

    Hold are you both out of curiousity? It can make a difference as this issue with a 20 something is not the same as a 40 or 50 something.
  • Aug 20, 2009, 01:10 PM
    jmjoseph
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by UnluckyLady79 View Post
    I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years, we have 1 child. Sex has always been a little bit of a rollercoaster. Somestimes once a day, sometimes once a week. We haven't had sex in 2 1/2 months. But I've looking in the history on the computer and its full of porn. Even this morning before 30 mins before he left for work, while I was sleeping. I don't mind him looking at porn, but I'd like to still be intimate with him. I doubt he is cheating on me. We work at the same place and I HIGHLY DOUBT he'd sleep with any of our co workers. Other than that, he is never out of the house. I don't think he stopped being attracted to me, because the porn he looks at have women that look similar to me. And its not that I'm not willing. I'm always TRYING to fondle him or kiss on him. He just tells me to stop. I'm just downright confused. I've asked him about it and he says nothing is wrong. Any ideas? :confused:

    I think you should talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel. I can't imagine having my girlfriend, wife, lover, whatever, in the same house and would rather masturbate than have sex with her. Porn is addictive, and maybe he's hooked already. He might need help.

    Maybe you two need counseling. How are the other day to day things in your marriage?
  • Aug 20, 2009, 01:51 PM
    jmjoseph
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by UnluckyLady79 View Post
    I'm not going to argue with jimiboy anymore. Anyway, we are in our late 20s. I have spoken to him about the situation and he says there is nothing wrong, he just hasn't been in the "mood" to have sex with me.

    Ask him to remember the frequency of sex from the past years you two were together. And compared to now... what's happened? Sometimes you need to jump start the romance back into relationships.

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