My boyfriend told me on Sunday night that he doesn't think that he is feeling what he thinks he should be feeling for me after 7months. He said he has felt like this for 2 months but never said anything because he did know how or when and also he was trying to figure it out on his own. I also found out on Monday when I talked to him there were a few small things that I do that bother him. All those things can easily be corrected on my part. I did also tell him in order for me to correct these issues he needs to communite more with me and he as promised to do that as well as work on some issues that bother me. He said that he wants to continue working on this and see if he develops deeper feelings. I know also that I can be smothering so I have told him that I am giving him some space and I'm not going to call him any more. He can call me when he's ready. Bear in mind that we live 2 hours away from each other and usually only see each other every other weekend. We met through Myspace while he was overseas in the military and had litimed communication so that's why I'm thinking not calling so much might help. He also feels that the newness of the relationship is gone and that's what is also bothering him. We also think he might feel like this because we don't see each other a whole lot. I just need some advise and guidance as to what to do and if this is even worth pursurring.

Besides telling him what you did tell him about the importance of communicating tell him every couple goes through complacent times where they aren't feeling fireworks and sparks for each other. Real love is about working through problems rather than sweeping them under the rug and then using it as an 'I'm not in love' excuse.
You need to get him to realize this and then work it out one way or another.

Sounds like he might not feel the same way about you anymore, but he is willing to give you a chance.

Long distance relationships are tough and it takes extra hard work to make things work.

I think that giving each other space isn't a good idea. It's going against building a strong communication system. It's better to talk things out and work on the issues together.

From the details you gave... I don't think there was nothing there but "infactuation" Not real love...

There's no love there... just infactuation... its done

I don't think its worth pursuing...

Sometimes things just don't work as you would like them too...

Once the infactuation stage left there was nothing left to hold interest...

Relationships last as long as both partners are willing to work on it together, and keep communicating. You can build on this if you talk and listen to each other.

Considering that you have been seeing each other very little, and over a period of 7 months, and the past 2 months of that, your boyfriend is not sure how he feels.

For a part-time, long distance relationship of only 7 months, with 2 months of it being questionable by your boyfriend, I'm wondering what you expect to accomplish by taking away what little contact you already have- the phone.

There should be more, not less. He finds you clingy, and that's based on very little contact. You didn't indicate that you were planning to move where he is, or that he was willing to move where you are, or that you planned to step up the visits now that he's home.

He has, in a nice way, in my opinion, told you that he'd like to ease off, and probably does not wish to develop a real relationship with you. Instinct tells me that you know this, and you also probably know that he's throwing lame excuses your way, as reasons for his lack of pursuing something serious with you. Such as little things that bother him.

You can't have a serious relationship the way things are. If you are both not willing to put some major investment of time and resources together, and move past petty issues, how can it work.

You are starting with very little to hold this relationship together. You have to decide with him, just how much of a spark is left, and whether that spark will fizzle out, or become a nice big inferno.

Long distance relationships have some added obstacles. So it requires more hard work from both people involved.

So unless BOTH of you are willing to make the effort, this relationship isn't going to move forward.

Furthermore, long distance relationships require even more communication because you don't have the physical closeness. So ignoring each other would not help the relationship.

I would also like to add that it sounds like you brought up your issues about him only after he told you about his not feeling the way he was suppose too.
I think he was letting you go softly

Sounds like this guy bases his actions in a relationship upon emotion, and minor annoyances. I think you should break it off, if what you are interested in is eventual marriage. Love is a decision, not an emotion, and in marriage there will always be off times emotionally, plus many - many annoyances. He just doesn't sound like a keeper.

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Originally Posted by zippit

i would also like to add that it sounds like you brought up your issues about him only after he told you about his not feeling the way he was suppose too.
i think he was letting you go softly

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Let me clean up this reply it may have confused some
What I mean by this is the op made it sound like after he told her that he didn't
Have thr proper feelings for her that they had a long talk where she told him some stuff about him and now they are going to work on this
What I see is he came to her with a issue and basically a break-up and only after that did she decided to talk to him about her issue and I think he just went along with it.
To me its never good to counter with an issue when someone else comes to you with there's its just another way of saying"well what about you"
If she had issues with him why didn't SHE initiate the conversation? Is my point
Does that make sense?