I recently ended a 5 yr involvement with a man I cared very deeply for. This all took place just about 6 weeks ago when I sent him an email telling him the reasons as to why we couldn't be together for right now.

I haven't said a word to him since and really have no intention of doing so. It was suggested that I give it at least a month of No Contact for any possibility of reconciliation. I have taken the advice and haven't heard a word from him

Now I am beginning to wonder if this Rule actually works. Can somebody please help?

You say you wrote him an email stating your reasons-could you not have told him face to face? And were/are your reasons for not wanting to be with him your last word? If so why does it seem like you want to reconcile? NC is for self healing not for an attempt at reconcilliation
Why did you want to split up with him?More facts please.

The reason for me breaking up was to send him the message that I no longer am willing to accept certain behaviors that I don't wish to discuss on a public forum.

The reason as to why I asked the question was I have been told that NC yes should be used to start the healing process but that it will cause the other person to start to miss the other person start to miss you as in the saying
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

After most breakups I assume both people involved miss the other person.the way I read your second post is that you re hoping he misses you and will get in touch?so far he hasnt- so it must be up to you whether you want to change your mind and contact him.His response to your email is silence-we can only speculate why this is so.

The purpose of No Contact is to get over your ex and move on with your life. It isn't to get back together with them. It sounds like he's employing it better than you are.

Making the heart grow fonder and making someone miss you has nothing to do with actually fixing the relationship. The thing about all these people saying "at least 30 days NC" is that even if the significant other comes back, that doesn't mean the relationship is magically fixed. Love isn't always enough. Missing someone and actually working on flaws of the relationship are two totally different things.

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You have quite a history with this guy and I strongly suggest you stay with NC, forever.

Obviously you broke up with him at this time last year, and took him back, against what we were saying then, so you already know what the outcome will be if you take him back again. What makes you think he will change in 30 days, if he hasn't in 5 years.

The sex may have been great, but not worth 5 years of your life with this idiot. Why keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, and expect different results. That's a classic case of insanity, and you need to break that cycle. That's what NO CONTACT FOREVER can do for you.

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Originally Posted by snow124

The purpose of No Contact is to get over your ex and move on with your life. It isn't to get back together with them. It sounds like he's employing it better than you are.

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No contact is priceless...

Your're not doing to regain someone... you do to build yourself back up to where you need to be... again...

Don't expect for you guys to get back together...

Work on yourself...

No contact is a way for YOU to recover, not as a net to catch your ex back. The quicker you learn that, the sooner you will realize you are better off.

The NC rule only works in certain situations depends on how serious the relationship was