My girlfriend broke up with me six months ago, citing various reasons. I didn't hold much account into the reasons, but it was long distance and I believe she just felt like I couldn't give her enough attention. She said things like she wants to make sure its right, she still loves me, wants us to be together. She calls me today saying she wants to get back together. She also tells me she had a boyfriend for four of the months we were apart, after I told her we would never be together again if she was with someone. She says she was lonely and all this stuff like she was hurt from our break up, but she flat out lied to me the last six months. Every time I asked her there was no other man, she denied it. I do love her but I feel as though she doesn't respect me. I ended up telling her that I would take her back if she comes to visit next week from across the country and she calls me her boyfriend now, instead of her way taking things slow to work out our problems. It bothers me that she was with someone else but do I have any right to be mad because we were not together. I feel betrayed with this other guy coming into the picture. She told me a month after we broke up she was going to a movie with a girl on her team, turns out it was this guy. Is this worth trying to fix. Is she even trustworthy, I harassed her today because I knew something had happened, she wasn't going to tell me until we were face to face in a couple months as we had fixed our foundation, I don't know, when you love someone so much can you actually have a future with them when you feel tossed aside, I need some help on this one, do I take it slow or let her deal with my ultimatum, I knew she would come back but I feel cheated, any words of wisdom

I think she feels lonely now that she doesn't have a BF anymore and she knows you'll take her back , will that last who knows. If she's left you once she may do it again and the fact that your even questioning her trustworthiness is a big RED FLAG to me.

I'd tell her to be single for 3-6 months and then see how she feels about it , then you'll also be in a far better emotional state to make an accurate call.

Good Luck!

Well it you reread your post I think you have your answer here. First of all she wants to come back for all the wrong reason. She isn't with her other boyfriend and she is lonely. I don't think that is love, that's just neediness and being weak.
What happens if there is another guy later on and she leaves you for him. The relationship seems way too broken to fix it. It's easier to build something new with somebody else. You don't trust her and there is something missing now. The right thing to do now is to let her go as it will bring more pain later on.

It's very simple. "Trust". Once someone crosses that line of trust there is never any coming back. Even if you did get back together and things seemed to be okay, that doubt will always remain in the back of your mind. Why would you want to live with doubt? I don't care how much she tells you that she loves you and promises to never leave again, if you allow her to come back she will eventually leave you again. The first time is always the most difficult, the second time is always much easier. A relationship is a two-way street. Your wants, needs and desires count too, not just hers. Believe me, if you left her for another woman she would hate you until the end of time, and then some. There is someone out there for you who will never cross that line of trust. Get on with your life. Learn to accept it, turn your back on it and move forward, (and never look back). Life is way too short to have someone in your life whom you could never trust again. It doesn't matter how much you may still love her, if you give time a chance, that will change. Time will heal if you allow it to. Don't dwell on it, just let it go, (meaning letting her go). It sometimes hurts to let go, but as I stated above, if you allow it, time will heal. Remember this, once a cheater, always a cheater. Once an abuser, always an abuser. Once a leaver, they will always leave you again. (They never, ever change). They will try their best to make you think they can change, but they never will. It's a fact of life. It's like when one of the persons in a relationship cheats, man or woman, the one who cheats always says they will never do it again and may even suggest counseling. Counseling only ever benefits the one who cheated. It never benefits the one who got cheated on. Again, why put yourself through all of that mess when she'll just leave you again. Mark my words, she will. Never go backwards, it doesn't work. No matter how many tears she sheds remember that it only benefits her if you take her back. Not you. You're only setting yourself up for another heartache if you take her back. I'm telling you all of this from my past experience. I have also talked to many others and observed many others. It's amazing how often this same thing happens. Remember, "Trust" is everything. She's not trustworthy, she'll do it again. Good Luck to you.

One more thing. Never allow anything like this to make you angry or bitter. Never drag that ball & chain of hate, misery and bitterness. Let it go, turn your back on it and move forward. I can't stress that enough. Life is way too short to mess with people you can't trust. "Time Will Heal, (if you allow it)"

This is a follow-up to my first answer:

I re-read your message. First of all if she truly loved you and respected you she would have asked you to sit down and try to talk things out. But it's obvious she is only thinking of herself. Secondly, she has lied to you, how many times now? It seems that when things aren't going her way, (after leaving you), she is only using you as a "Convenience Guy". I've been there. She doesn't see you as a man she loves, but only as a man who will be there for her when she needs you there. (But is she there when you need her?) So what you are to her is nothing more than a Puppet sitting in the corner waiting for her to pull your strings. Or another example, the Dog chained up in the back yard, when she needs you she comes out and pats you on your head. It's called being her "Pawn". I know how you feel, I've been there. You do everything in the world to make her happy and she only takes you for granted. You're only necessary when she needs you, for whatever. Don't be that convenience guy, for anyone. A relationship is a two-way street. It's very obvious she is traveling a one-way street, (her way, without you). That's not love, that's using someone for your own benefit. If you allow her back into your life be prepared to be kicked to the curb once again. Get this through your head guy, she doesn't love you, but she sure loves having you around because you're her "Convenience Guy". The day you stop being her convenience guy she will just go and find someone else who she can manipulate, like she has manipulated you all along. It takes two to have true love, not just one. Remember this, there are 16 times more women on this earth than men. In my age group, 55, there are 24 times more women on earth than men. That one woman for you will come around that corner one day. Then this X-girlfriend will be long forgotten. (Move Forward, Never Backwards).

This post is nearly two years old.