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-   -   Do you think he cares? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=388677)

  • Aug 19, 2009, 07:50 PM
    doodlepie97
    Do you think he cares?
    Okay I have been datin this guy for a couple months. At first he was always around me and couldn't get over me. But now it seems that he don't care or want to talk or be around me. I just want to know if you think he still cares for me. I think he does but then again I don't. He still tells me he loves me but I don't think he means it. He does hang around with me but we don't eally communicate. I'm really scared because he is my first real boyfriend and I don't want to get hurt but in the end we all do. Just tell me if your going to make fun of me don't bother answering this question.

    Thanks,
    Meghan:)
  • Aug 19, 2009, 08:38 PM
    HelpinHere

    How old are you, sixteen? I have a feeling this should have been posted in teens.

    First off, you've only been dating a couple of months, and he's already saying "I love you"?

    Secondly, you need to check around. If you seriously think that people here are going to make fun of you, then you'll be pleasently surprised. However, you will also find a lot of people getting mad because you try to control who posts here. It's a public site on which anyone can post, you can't say who can and can't post here.

    Anyway, it sounds to me as if he cares, but it is past that "honeymoon phaze" where it is all new and exciting. When you get a new toy out of the box, you play with it constantly, but then you get used to it and use it less.
    It's the same thing with a relationship. He's just gotten used to it first. Why don't you invite him to more things, why don't YOU call him more, and go to his house, and show him you still want to spend time together. Maybe you're not making the effort you want him to make. It's a two way street, you can't expect him to do all the work.
  • Aug 20, 2009, 02:30 PM
    I wish

    From what you told us, it does sound like he's being distant, but there's only one way to find out. If he's your boyfriend, then talk things out with him. Tell him how you feel.

    But why do you think he's being distant? He already told you that he loves you, so maybe he's just busy? Maybe he feels like he already talks to you for an appropriate amount of time?

    Bottom line, talk to him. Communication is key.
  • Aug 20, 2009, 02:36 PM
    Sweet_Guy23

    First of all: What your boyfriend has is NOT love, its INFACTUATION... period!!

    And its clear: just drop the guy... he's lost interest... all together...

    Just moved on... you've got your whole life ahead of you... I wouldn't worry about this guy... not worth all the thought... DROP HIM...

    Lastly: Don't think that anybody is going to make fun of you. This forum is not about that. We have all been hurt in past experiences and relationships. And we've learned from those experiences we can pass on to you... so free to vent and ask any quiestions that you may have... :)
  • Aug 21, 2009, 02:18 AM
    helpmepleaseee

    If he really loved you he wouldn't be this distant, at least not for an extended peroid of time. I would suggest talking to him and discussing whether his "love" is more than just words.. Even if it is, if he is honest about it.. That is okay. He may have really felt that he loved you the first time that he said it and later realized that he was mistaken and this would explain the sudden issues. This doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or that he is a liar, just often times when people are in new relationships(mostly younger people) they tend to confuse love for other emotions as many haven't actually discovered what love feels like. If he won't cooperate, move on.
  • Aug 21, 2009, 02:20 AM
    helpmepleaseee
    .. "words.. Even if it *isn't*"..
  • Aug 21, 2009, 03:42 AM
    superk


    You better ask these question on him. We are not the guy and our answers here will only be based on what you will say which some might be permeated or preconceived ideas. All relationships is based on communication (plus trust and love of course). Now, if what he says is different from his actions and won't convince you at all, then write us back.

    Take a deep breath, go pick up a phone, around the time he's about to be in bed, relaxed and unoccupied!
  • Aug 21, 2009, 10:19 AM
    talaniman

    All new relationships cool off, after a while, and then you learn to talk, and listen to each other.

    Its called the honeymoon period when things are intense, and new, but it does change, as you get familiar with each other.

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