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-   -   Is it good to talk dirty? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=388639)

  • Aug 19, 2009, 05:59 PM
    autumnrainful
    Is it good to talk dirty?
    My boyfriend asked me to call him daddy during sex. And he wanted me to say some dirty words too. I actually don't like to say those things. I just wanted our sex to be romantic and passionate. He told me never to call him honey during sex. Do guys act like that all the time?
  • Aug 19, 2009, 06:03 PM
    Clough
    Hi, autumnrainful!

    If there's something that you're uncomfortable doing with him, are you telling him about that? Communication is the number one thing in relationships.

    Hopefully, others will also come along to address your question.

    Thanks!
  • Aug 19, 2009, 08:36 PM
    Synnen

    I agree with Clough.

    You need to tell him you're not comfortable with it, and then don't do it if you're not comfortable!

    Sounds to me like the two of you have very different ideas about sex---and you NEED to talk about it in order for your relationship to have a chance at succeeding.
  • Aug 19, 2009, 08:38 PM
    sergie

    Yes, communication plays an important role. If you don't like it, tell him straight away. And I don't understand, why any man may want to hear, dirty words while making love.

    If you never bring up this issue now, you never will!
  • Aug 19, 2009, 09:04 PM
    N0help4u

    I wouldn't feel comfortable with that either but you can discuss different words and come up with something you both feel comfortable with. If you aren''t comfortable with any *dirty* words come up with some *sweet talk* phrases that aren't mushy or sappy.
  • Aug 19, 2009, 09:54 PM
    Gemini54
    You should talk about this - not all guys like to talk 'dirty'- but I'm sure lots of them get off on it occasionally.

    Having said all that - remember that they are just words. There might be some words you may be prepared to say to please him. Sometimes it is a matter of compromise and finding the middle road.
  • Aug 19, 2009, 10:01 PM
    artlady

    All people are different and want varied stimulus during sex.There is no one size fits all.

    If you are uncomfortable doing anything sexually ,you need to have an open discussion with your partner about it.

    You are intimate enough to have sex,you must also be intimate enough to talk about it.

    When you think about it it seems kind of silly to think that you can share the most intimate of physical experience but may feel uncomfortable *discussing* it.

    Talk it out.
  • Aug 20, 2009, 12:42 AM
    shazamataz

    I'm with you, I just can't do dirty talk, it makes me feel silly.
    Especially the word "daddy" I don't know why but it just is a huge turn off for me.

    My partner knows this because I told him.
    Because I told him, he never asks for me to talk dirty.

    Problem solved.

    As for you not being allowed to call him honey, is that something you feel strongly about? Do you want to call him that?

    Maybe you could work out a compromise, but the only way you are going to know is to talk about it together.
  • Aug 20, 2009, 02:14 AM
    Clough
    Ditto, about the communication thing!

    It would be helpful if we could hear back from you about that, autumnrainful.

    Thanks!
  • Aug 20, 2009, 05:43 AM
    smoothy
    Its good as long as its at a level you are both comfortible with...
  • Aug 20, 2009, 10:31 AM
    Ren6
    Nohelp4u made a good point... maybe you can compromise and find something else that you do feel comfortable saying. He's not into sweet talk, so maybe something naughty, but not filthy? You should chat with him about your discomfort and ask if there's something in between that you could start with. The whole "Daddy" thing... I don't blame you there! It's too incestuous and creepy. Good luck...
  • Aug 20, 2009, 11:59 AM
    azdesertchick
    I'm with many who have said that the calling your partner "Daddy" would freak them out. Maybe you should put it to him like this.. "I really don't want to be thinking of my dad while having sex and calling you this will do just that" enough said... eeewwww! :eek:

    Please talk to him and don't subject yourself to doing things that you don't want to, it's supposed to be fun and fulfilling for both of you! Good luck!

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