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-   -   Friends with benefits ? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=388106)

  • Aug 18, 2009, 10:00 AM
    BDB3
    Friends with benefits ?
    So Ive been seeing this guy for over a month and we really like one another but he always seems to be with other girls and bragging about other girls when I'm around he says he likes me a lot and I want to believe him its just a little hard when he's starting to hangout with the girl who took his virginity. How can I compare to that? She always teases him about our age difference he's 3 years older than me I don't think that's bad at all but it bugs me when he talks about her. I try telling him this but he just gets mad becauuse he tells me over and over he has friends that are girls I understand that much. I just don't know what to do.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 10:16 AM
    CAD DUDE

    You know it's only been a month, and I'm sure your not in Love with him. I would let it go. You'll drive yourself crazy thinking about this. I'm sure you have guy friends you can hang with. Give it time and see if you guys become more seriuos.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 10:42 AM
    BDB3
    Yeahhh ill try thankkkks.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 11:50 AM
    BDB3
    Guys with bestfriends
    Threads merged

    Okay so you know how every girl should be treated like she's the best thing in the world what if your not being treated that way? What if every time your with the guy you like he's texting his "girl bestfriend" and they always hangout till like 3 in the morning and it seems he has more fun with her then me? And on top of that he's starting to hangout with the girl who took his virginity last thing I knew he and her hated one another. I just can't stop thinking about it.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 11:57 AM
    Justwantfair
    I don't know that every girl should be treated like she is the best thing in the world, but she should be treated with love and respect and that is a two way street for both men and women.
    How old are you, so the advice can be appropriate?

    How can you expect to be treated like the best thing in the world when you are in a 'friends with benefits' relationship. That is not a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. It's a no-strings, we tolerate each other and plan to use each other to our advantage, since we do enjoy one another.
  • Aug 18, 2009, 12:02 PM
    N0help4u

    Seems to me like there is one thing left out of this picture -YOU

    I think you should move on with your life and leave him to his
  • Aug 18, 2009, 03:19 PM
    BDB3

    I'm 16.
  • Sep 27, 2009, 06:14 AM
    BDB3
    I think he's over me
    Threads merged

    So here's the thing me and this guy have been off and on about three times now. And I've always been the one to end it because I wanted to date around now that I'm honestly and 100% there for him he doesn't want me because of all the hurt I put him through. Hes in one of my classes so I seee him every other day we sit right next to each other and its so hard to look at him. I really want to be with him were neighbors as well so that makes the situation harder for me.
    I just don't think I can let go of my first love. Help?
  • Sep 27, 2009, 06:42 AM
    tickle

    You can't correct your mistakes now you probably put him through too much with your off and on attitude. You said it. Just move on,

    Tick
  • Sep 27, 2009, 07:20 AM
    roxypox

    Yeah, you can't correct your mistakes... like you yourself said; you did put him through a lot.

    Accept that its over and find away to move on... do you find this hard, if you do: what do you think can help you to move on?

    Could the two of you remain friends or will this be hard? (seeing as you have classes together and you're neighbors)

    One thing though that can help you in the long run is to realize your actions during this relationships... and maybe you'll gain a lesson or two from all of this...

    And yes I'm going to be very honest when it comes to the way I interpret your actions:

    You've asked for a total of three breaks during this relationship... according to your OP (original post)... and your honest about the reason as to why; you wanted to date other people, what I'm not so sure of is if you are fully aware of the affect this might have on him, or anyone else when you ask for break.

    1. when asking for a break, you are telling the other person that this might not be working out, as you wish it to, and you need time to think etc...

    2. When asking for a break and then date other people during this break you are basically keeping him as a back up.

    In all honesty, even though this is your first love and now you have made up your mind about the whole thing and want to be with him, it is too late (as you have realized), but it does seem as if it might be a good idea for you to be single and enjoy life as it is right now... and something about your post tells me that you are prob. High School age, so you have lots of time to enjoy life.
  • Oct 9, 2009, 07:49 AM
    BDB3
    Ive moved on. Am I wrong to do so?
    Threads merged

    I posted something a few days ago under "I think hes over me" a lot of you helped me with it thank you. To catch you up we tried things once again and he ended it. I was so hurt by it and didn't know what to do with myself. Now I'm with one of my ex's we broke up last time cause he didn't want a girlfriend but he does now. And I've really missed how we were with each other. Every night I'm almost always at his house with his friends and two girls that I've been close with in the past but then drifted. So they are always there and I love being close with them again. I have an amazing time each night. In the beginning of me and him my best friend got angry with me because they dated in the past. Every girl wants what they can't have correct? Well we worked things out last night then she saw us kiss because she was right behind us witch I was not aware of so she stormed off and now she's PISSED at me. Me and her are very close, finish eachothers sentences, act alike. But when she was mad at me at school I did fine I had lunch with a bunch of my guy friends at break I was with all the girls I use to be close with it was great I really didn't need her. To top it off my Ex who I posted that post about isn't talking to me anymore either, you know the one who really hurt me? Yeah well my boyfriend and him are friends not close but they are. He doesn't talk to me and I want him to talk to me. I don't want to give up my boyfriend he makes me feel amazing. Advice?
  • Oct 10, 2009, 12:38 PM
    talaniman

    You can't make people do what you want, that's just not possible. Just as you can't make your friend understand why your messing with someone she still has feelings for. That's not to considerate of a best friend. Leave the ex boyfriend alone, and try to at least be respectful of your friend.
  • Oct 19, 2009, 01:18 PM
    BDB3
    When he says forever and always
    I have recently wrote about my neighbor who I was off and on with and how we have a class together every other day. Its gotten worst. I don't know how to get over him completely whenever I think I'm done with him songs pop up well I purposely play them to remind me of our times we had together, and every time I sit next to him in that class all my feelings come flooding back in. Sometimes I just want to go over to his house and tell him I will always love him. He says he's moved on and I have too but he's always in the back of my mind. I really want to text him or ask him to go for a walk and talk like we use to do but I'm not sure on whether that would be too pushy or he would just get annoyed with me cause I still love him. I just need advice?
  • Oct 20, 2009, 09:40 AM
    falon

    He's going to be in the back of your mind for along time, alls you can do is wait, if you see no hope in him ever coming back to you then texting or calling him to talk wouldn't be pushy but for you mental health I would not sugest it, you hanging out with him right now is only going to hurt you more it the end its just going to bring back memories and you'll never get over him, so my advice would be to stay away from him for a while so you can build some emotional strangth and so you can heal, do things that will keep your mind of off him and before you know it, your still think of him but it will only be once a month or less and then one day when you are thinking of him you'll beable to look at the memorie and laugh at the good times you had and not dwel on it but continue making more memoires with another boyfriend or with just friends
    Good luck! :)

    Sorry for the poor spelling
  • Oct 22, 2009, 08:58 AM
    talaniman

    Every one has told you to leave the guy alone and get on with your life. What more advice do you need? Granted he is always around in your classes, so it may take longer to get him out of your system, but it starts with leaving him alone and pursue other interests.

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