Married for 2 years, Husband is driving me crazy
Hello,
I'm seriously confused here, I have been married to my husband for almost 2 years, We have been together for 3 and a half years. At the time of marriage, we were getting along great, My husband had a job, I was pregnant with our son, We have a yours, Mine, Ours kind of family, As far as children go. We have always been a struggling family as far as finances go. After we got married, My husband quit his job. That was in 2008. Its been almost a year now and he still hasn't got another job. He refuses to work, He has some anxiety, Depression issues. He claims he's going to get disability, but yet won't finish the paperwork, or go to the appointments they have scheduled for him, (This is his second time filing). He finally started the paperwork, after I told him I wanted a divorce and asked me for a second chance, So I gave him till the end of the week, Now he's not doing the rest of the paperwork or anything else for that matter. He just started counseling. He has his second appointment on Friday.
My husband is a great guy, overall, He is a sweet guy, Great father, Friend, etc. Im just fed up!
We started having major problems in April of 2009, I had a male online friend, Whom is also married, I would chat with. My husband became extremley jealous of him, Even though he is happily married and lives 2500 miles away. So we would fight and fight about me talking to him, I finally told my friend we could no longer talk because my husband is not comfy with it. So after 4 months of not talking to him at all, no emails nothing. My husband starts his insecurities again and asks me if I have talked to my friend lately, I of course get all upset and defensive, because he doesn't seem to trust me. When I am online, He asks me who I'm talking to, What are we talking about. When I tell him, he claims I'm leaving out bits and pieces of the conversations, When in fact I'm not. Im tired of him accusing me of hiding things from him, I wouldn't do that. Never ever! I have never cheated or anything like that on anyone, let alone him.
I have told him I want a separation so I can try to get my head straight. He has been acting super sweet and "backing" off, Letting me have my freedom, But I'm scared that its going to go right back to square one, Once he gets comfy again. I want to get a divorce and move on. But I'm not sure how to go about this. He claims he has no where to go, I feel guilty kicking him out cause I don't have the heart to see anyone on the streets, especially the father of my child!
Please help me! I need the courage to stand on my own two feet, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much
Exhausted :(