I am 19 weeks pregnant. When I found out about being pregnant the father of my unborn child said we "had" to get an abortion, and persisted that, even after I expressed I did not want to. We broke up I moved out told him I was keeping the child and a day later he changed his mind and said he wanted to work things out and he wanted the baby and he was just scared. So I moved back in. a month later he then again is trying to manipulate me into an late term abortion. I have not agreed or disagreed, even though once again I DO NOT want it. He is an emotionally abusive and threatening man. I do not want him in my child's life what rights do I have? Can he terminate the parental rights with the child not being born? He has threatened to take the child from me or try and make my life hell. He is not a fit father he has 4 bench warrents as of right now and domestic violence on his record from a previous relationship. How do I handle this?

You need to separate yourself from him.
You/he can not terminate his rights before the baby is born. He can not demand you get an abortion either. He can not take the baby away from you and with his record I don't see a Judge giving him custody. If he tries to get custody you need to say the most you will agree to is supervised visits and why.

You need to go file for child support after the baby is born and don't let him intimidate you.
He clearly doesn't want the baby but wants to go for full custody out of spite and thinking it is the solution to not paying child support.
He can't get full custody or even primary custody.

I hope you are not living with him and if you are you need to get out asap

*If you mean you do not want the baby but don't want an abortion either then you need to find a good adoption agency and you can specify you want an open adoption if that is what you want.

I DO want the baby I have a very loving and healthy supportive family. I'm keeping it I just don't know what to do about the father.

Good for you!

I just was not 100% positive if you meant you do not want the abortion or the baby with
Again I DO NOT want it.

But as pluckyflamingo said you need to get out of there and get with your supportive family before he ends up kicking your stomach in or something.
I wouldn't be able to sleep with my eyes closed around him!

How can that be hard to think of? LEAVE HIM. I don't understand people like you, if he is violent why stay? That puts you and your baby at danger. DO not trust him for a second. I just have a feeling he will try to harm your unborn child on purpose. Trust me it does happen, go stay with family and get the true support that you want and need.

As far as he is concerned he has made an appointment and we are "having" the abortion but I need to have a plan and know my rights. That's why I'm on here! Asking all of the experts.. and pluckyflamingo I know it sounds stupid but I left out like 95% of the story yes he has become abusive and that's why all my things are packed and I'm walking out the door in just a few with a note left for him. Thank you for your help.

He can not force you to have an abortion
He can not force you to even go to the appointment.
If you know where the appointment is call and cancel and tell them that they should have a policy that only the mother to be or their doctors can schedule appts.
I have a feeling he may be bluffing about the appt though.
Whatever you do keep your family surrounding you at all times and stay out of any situations with him, especially alone.

AND DO NOT let him trick you into ''Baby we will work it out'' It ain't going to happen!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by pluckyflamingo

How can that be hard to think of? LEAVE HIM. I don't understand people like you, if he is violent why stay? That puts you and your baby at danger. DO not trust him for a second. I just have a feeling he will try to harm your unborn child on purpose. Trust me it does happen, go stay with family and get the true support that you want and need.

---

Please don't flame an OP because you lack understanding of their situation. Its not at all uncommon for battered women ( and men ) to stay in abusive relationships because of isolation issues etc. Just stick to the questions at hand. Thanks.

Please go to your local police station and report to them where your boyfriend is. Let them pick him up and put him away. He appears to be a violent man, and I worry for your safety! Get out now!

Your rights? You have all the rights! He has no rights over the baby or you - he can't make you do anything you don't want to do- you need to do what is right for you and your baby. There are people who can help you- you do not need a guy like this in your life or your child's. The choices are all yours! Choose wisely.

I got pregnant with my son when I was 17- his father had no say in anything- if you have family that will help you you are very lucky as I was.

Please make the best decision for your baby!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by cll528

your rights? you have all the rights! he has no rights over the baby or you - he can't make you do anything you don't want to do- you need to do what is right for you and your baby. there are people who can help you- you do not need a guy like this in your life or your child's. the choices are all yours! choose wisely.

i got pregnant with my son when i was 17- his father had no say in anything- if you have family that will help you you are very lucky as i was.

please make the best decision for your baby!

---

Can you show where your getting this information from ? The rights a birth father has may not be as automatic as that of the mother but it does not relinquish a fathers rights in any way. And as far as doing something that you don't want to do.. That's wrong too. Once the baby is born its no longer about you or him etc. Its about the child. So running to other states can get you dragged back by the courts or you can be forced to give up the child. That is reality from america's courtrooms.