I am girl of 23.I am dating my boyfrnd for last 4 yrs.he is very caring and possesive about me.But the problem I am facing are:
1)my boyfriend expresses his love by kissing me ,hugging me or saying jokes sometimes.but I feel too shy to kiss him. Even things become such that he only asks me to kiss him at least once... I try but I feel too nervous.
2)and other prob is my boyfrnd always tries to explore my private areas which I feel he should not at this time as it really makes me feel very aroused. As I ask him to stop he stops at that instant but after sometime he again comes near me and tries the same and if I seriously tell him not to repeat he says its hard for him to control.
What to do?

I lost a boyfriend because I was same way around your age. I told him I liked him but since I was too shy to kiss him he took it as I wasn't interested.
He likes you so what is there to be shy about kissing him for? Now if you aren't really into him then maybe your shyness is a good thing.

Sounds like he is really understanding if he isn't pressuring you and pushing himself on you.

You need to put your shyness aside and look at kissing him from another perspective.

If you don't feel it in you to want to kiss him regardless of your shyness maybe the connection just isn't there for you with him to begin with.

Thanks for the advice.. I about it a little but I feel I really love my boyfriend.I don't know how but I'll try my best to overcome this shyness. Advice on the 2nd problem how can I say him no without annoying him.

Your boyfriend has no right to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do. If he's annoyed at your level of discomfort, you need a new boyfriend.

Why don't you want him kissing you?
The answer to that may explain a lot.

It sounds like maybe what you need to do is discuss this with him and tell him that if he promises to quit the things you really feel uncomfortable with then you will try to start kissing him more. I don't know if you are just feeling like he might just go too far and that is holding you back or what. So you need to first discuss boundries with him and see if that helps. If you aren't even willing to kiss him and feel comfortable with him kissing you I really don't see how he is going to stick with the relationship. You have to give a little but he has to know your limits.

But do not let him push or pressure you

Shy or not, I get the impression your not that comfortable with being physical at this time, and you better just straight out tell him to keep his hands to himself. If he cannot respect your wishes, and make you more relaxed, and comfortable around him, then love or not, he is the wrong guy for you.

Never be afraid to say NO, and stand by your word.

What bothers me though, is you have been together 4 years, and still are shy around him? That's incredible to me.

Is this a case of being in love with the idea of having someone, rather than loving the person.

Are you from a country other than America, and do you live at home? Work? School??

Currently I'm in masters degree.I am from a very conservative indian family and from childhood we are taught something like relationship is a very bad thing for a girl,it ruins her life etc etc. I love my boyfriend but many a times I feel whether I am doing something wrong or not.We are together till now bcoz somehow we feel very happy with each other,whether by sharing probs or happiness or just hanging around.thats it.

You don't share intimacy, maybe because your friends, and not feeling romantic toward him. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you both know where you stand with each other. I do think you need to discuss that, so everyone knows how the other feels and you can define your boundaries with each other.

Its been 4 years, where is this relationship going in the future? Where do you want it to go??

I agree with all the above.

I too find it shocking that after 4 years your still shy and nervous around him, perhaps your more nervous with the physical intimacy than the guy.

I think you should only do what you feel comfortable with, although, as a man, I can see him wanting some type of affection after 4 years of devotion. That being said, I'm sure he knew the deal way back when.

Truly speaking I would really want this relationship to stand for a lifetime.I fully agree with you people that after such devotion yes he wants that physical affection from me but the prob lies with me. I tried hard but still I'm very uncomfortable with any kind of physical affection that he tries to give or even wants back. Advice how to overcome the barrier that lies in my mind?I don't want to loose him.

You looking to get married? Is that what the apprehension is about? Do you doubt his sincerity??

Sorry for all the questions, just trying to get a better picture of what we are talking about. I had a girlfriend once (long ago) who was saving herself for marriage, and didn't want to be tempted, by hot little me.

No, we didn't get married.

I have been dating my boyfriend for last 4 yrs. We kissed each other many a times or fondling but we were never into what we define as a physical relationship. We love each other a lot. Sometime back he wanted to be physically intimate with me,but I denied as I was not mentally prepared and he never pressurized me thereafter on this. But somedays back I just jokingly asked him for a public affection like singing for me in public amongst friends, to which he somehow reacted and lateron on asking he told that as I never accepted his wishes he is also not going to accept any such crazy things for me. I am afraid if distance is creeping in our relationship? Advice.

If you weren't ready for physical relations then he needs to accept that and not be spiteful. Stick to how you feel, any sexual relationship should happen when you're ready, not when he wants to. If you're in a culture that doesn't accept sex before marriage, then I would be extremely cautious and not allow him to shame you into submitting.

Talk to each other. The only way you'll truly know how each other feels is to communicate.

As for the singing in public, well, perhaps that was a bit too much to ask as well.

Singing a song in public is one thing, but not to do it because you won't have sex with him is another.

I'd say that if he can't see the difference between the two, then he is pretty much at the maturity level of a flea.

You are wise to refrain from intimacy with this guy.

OP,

As a woman, I would not ask my other half to sing in public for me. That makes you a bit immature.
If you already know he loves you, why needs everyone else know it.

I am a firm believer on "love is only between the two of you", no one else's business!

If you are not ready to have sex with him, then don't do it. I am sure he wants to, now b.c. you asked for the song, giving him a perfect excuse to ask something from you.

Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story and give you appropriate advice.

Move at a pace that you're comfortable with. He has to learn to respect your pace. If he can't do that, then he doesn't really care about you.

Thanks to you people for guiding me.I will definitely act on how I feel.

Your boyfriend needs to respect your wishes. If he can't, I would do something drastic to get your point across. Touching you in ways that make you uncomfortable is sexual harassment. But you also should learn to be more comfortable with more innocent touching- such as kissing, (unless you are AGAINST kissing... but it seems you are uncomfortable with it.)
You shouldn't deprive your man of physical attention, and he should not be pushing your physical boundaries. Only the two of you can find some middle ground that you both find acceptable. Talk over it.
(oh yes, and sexual urges are not impossible to control- whether you're a man or woman. It may be difficult to control, but if your man really respected how you feel, he would hold back on the sexual things for you. It isn't uncontrolable.)