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-   -   Her boyfriend is my mate, but I want her so much (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=387329)

  • Aug 16, 2009, 04:50 AM
    raz07
    Her boyfriend is my mate, but I want her so much
    For years I have known this girl. We went to school together and hung out a bit, I've always had a thing for her and she knows it.

    We are both older now and pretty close friends. We text everyday and call round eachothers place for coffee, go down the pub and hit the clubs together.

    Over the last 6 months I have grown a lot more feeling for her and can't stop thinking about her. Ive told her numerous times how I feel but it just seems to get shrugged off. She has a boyfriend who happens to be a friend of mine and all she can ever say about him is negative things? I mean all the time she's baging him cause he's never with her and doesn't do this an that etc.

    When we are together I make her smile, laugh have fun all that sort of stuff that he doesn't seem to be doing right (or he's not bothered ), but at the end of it all she hugs me and tells me I'm a great friend.

    Now the reason I'm getting confused about what to do is 7 months ago she rang me and was upset. At the time her she had been broken up with he boyfriend for a month or 2 cause he went overseas. So I travelled 2 hours south to the hotel she was staying at to be there for her. One thing lead to another as you can imagine, in the morning it was a bit orquid and we hugged and I went home and she went to work.

    For the next few weeks our talking was at a minimum, and we never talked about that night. My friend came back from over seas and they got back together (I did what seemed to be the right thing and told him what had happened while he was gone, he was OK with it?) Things slowly wound back into normal and we have been a lot closer since then.

    More than ever this month just gone we have been hanging out a lot and she has been asking me allsorts of advice about her relationship, I just kept responses simple and easy. But what she is saying is that she's not happy with him and she just wants to be appreciated.

    Yesterday morning she rang me and invited me to a pub crawl with her work mates and her family. It was a massive day and we all ended up at her place in the end. All day she had been hugging me and telling me that she's so glad I came, when it came to the end of the night she asked me to come to bed with her!

    Me being a dumbass said no, due to the fact her parents love the boyfriend and he happens to be a friend and they all would have clearly known in the morning what happened. So I slept in the spare room kicken myself for turning down this chance.

    This morning when I woke up a went and lay with her on her bed and talked some crap and watched TV for a while before she dropped me home. We didn't talk about what happened yesterday.

    What do I do? Do I finally ask her after all of this how she feels? Is she just using me to keep herself happy? Have I made a breakthrough with her lastnite? Should I just keep my mouth shut and sit back and watch her be unhappy with my friend? Should I be caring that this is my friends GF I'm talking about and leave it all alone?

    I love her so much I just don't know weather I should give up and accept the facts, or am I not seeing things properly?

    The main question I think is, Do I just confront her and see where I stand or just leave it?
  • Aug 16, 2009, 05:40 AM
    MiSSsy111222

    My advice is don't do anything. She is off limits.
  • Aug 16, 2009, 05:52 AM
    superk

    She already knows how you feel about her so just keep your distance and leave things on fate.

    She's currently enjoying the attention on 2 men so what else she can ask for?

    Stay away: Not only you're sparing yourself from trouble, you can also look more into things in right perspective and still leave yourself some pride.
  • Aug 16, 2009, 07:02 AM
    aryan2008
    Whats it going to take, to get you to write where people can understand you, and stop the chat/text babble???
  • Aug 17, 2009, 10:52 AM
    talaniman

    Your just friends with benefits and apparently you friend doesn't mind sharing his girl with you. You're the one that's handy and available so be careful falling in love with a female who has a guy but screws his friend.

    You can stay in this mess, and keep your benefits, or leave it alone, and get another girl who has better morals than all of you.

    I doubt seriously if she will be what you want in a serious relationship, and hope you see that too.

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