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-   -   How do I deal with my children after their daddy leaves (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=387068)

  • Aug 15, 2009, 08:51 AM
    armygirlfriend8
    How do I deal with my children after their daddy leaves
    Hey everyone. Well I have 3 children. Their ages are 4 2 1. and their daddy is leaving back to Georgia for basic training(he is in the army) . He got hurt when he left in may and they sent him home for 30 days. Well me and their father is getting a divorce but we are still friends. But anyway when he left in may it took me a month to get them to calm down. And don't cry for daddy at night. How can I do this again will it be this hard when he leaves every time when he gets to come home.. :(:confused:
  • Aug 15, 2009, 08:58 AM
    N0help4u

    I am sure it will be hard and they may need to cry some just as we cry when we end up in a broken relationship it is normal.
    You need to reassure them and comfort them. Tell them daddy is in the Army and that means he has obligations that he can't be here but he will be with them as much as he can.

    You really should have him talk to them about it before he leaves. He can tell them to be strong for mommy and he loves them but...
  • Aug 15, 2009, 09:27 AM
    artlady

    Since you have a computer,I would suggest investing in a pair of web-cams so that they can communicate via cam. Say once every couple of days at a specified time.

    Maybe you could have him record a story on tape.

    You turn the pages while they hear daddy read to them.

    Have a nighttime ritual that includes Daddy.

    Saying prayers or kisses goodnight to his picture.

    Distraction is also a great way to turn the tables.

    You certainly have your work cut out for you.Best of luck!
  • Aug 15, 2009, 09:34 AM
    N0help4u

    Have to spread the rep artlady

    That's a great idea having webcams.
    Have a Myspace for them to keep in touch too because he can post pictures there for them to see and talk to them and all.

    I know my son in Iraq and my other son always communicate through myspace.
  • Aug 15, 2009, 09:47 AM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Have to spread the rep artlady

    Thats a great idea having webcams.
    Have a Myspace for them to keep in touch too because he can post pictures there for them to see and talk to them and all.

    I know my son in Iraq and my other son always communicate through myspace.

    My friends son just left for Afghanistan and that is what she is doing for her daughter who really is missing her brother something awful.
    I didn't know you had a son in Iraq. I always pray for the servicemen and women's families as well as the service people so know that you are in my prayers as well.
  • Aug 15, 2009, 09:51 AM
    armygirlfriend8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    I am sure it will be hard and they may need to cry some just as we cry when we end up in a broken relationship it is normal.
    You need to reassure them and comfort them. Tell them daddy is in the Army and that means he has obligations that he can't be here but he will be with them as much as he can.

    You really should have him talk to them about it before he leaves. He can tell them to be strong for mommy and he loves them but.......

    He leaves tonight, he wants to come over for a little while and spend time with them. And I told him come on. Then all of us are going to the airport and watch him off
  • Aug 15, 2009, 09:54 AM
    armygirlfriend8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    Since you have a computer,I would suggest investing in a pair of web-cams so that they can communicate via cam. Say once every couple of days at a specified time.

    Maybe you could have him record a story on tape.

    You turn the pages while they hear daddy read to them.

    Have a nighttime ritual that includes Daddy.

    Saying prayers or kisses goodnight to his picture.

    Distraction is also a great way to turn the tables.

    You certainly have your work cut out for you.Best of luck!

    I have a web cam on my computer but the thing is while he is in basic training there is no computers or cell phones. We only talk by letters. Don't get me wrong my kids now what time the mail runs and they come to me and say mommy lets go and see if we got a letter from daddy.. I will try what you suggested
  • Aug 15, 2009, 09:57 AM
    armygirlfriend8
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    My friends son just left for Afghanistan and that is what she is doing for her daughter who really is missing her brother something awful.
    I didn't know you had a son in Iraq. I always pray for the servicemen and womens families as well as the service people so know that you are in my prayers as well.

    well my step brother is in the navy. My x husband in the army and my current boyfriend is in the army he is deployed to iraq. I could go on and on I guess you can say I am a military brat.. lol
  • Aug 15, 2009, 10:12 AM
    N0help4u

    Yeah when my son was in basic he could only call once a monthat times.
  • Aug 15, 2009, 10:17 AM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by armygirlfriend8 View Post
    i have a web cam on my computer but the thing is while he is in basic training there is no computers or cell phones. we only talk by letters. dont get me wrong my kids now what time the mail runs and they come to me and say mommy lets go and see if we got a letter from daddy.. i will try what u suggested

    Daddy will be very busy and very tired while in basic training. Make sure the children draw him pictures, write letters (with your help, of course), and realize how brave he is. Post the kids' hand-drawn pictures of him on the refrigerator. Go to the library and check out books on families of all kinds, including military families. In the Dewey Decimal number 355 will be books that contain photos of humvees and tanks and planes. Look at maps (912) to figure out where he is; do image and map searches on Internet for more visuals on where he is. Ask a librarian for help, if you can't find stuff.

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