Hi folks. Just to get this out of the way, I absolutely despise drama. I hate the he said/she said gossip and talking behind people's backs with a passion. Here's my situation.
I invited a friend to come hang out for the weekend. She is an ex from about four years ago, and we've both grown up a lot since then. I wasn't looking to start anything with her, and I told her so, clearly and on multiple occasions. We were (and still are) very physically attracted to each other, but I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't have sex with anyone unless I was dating them (a new challenge in my life, one I am proud to say I have kept).
Anyway, it's the second night she's stayed, and we had a little party of about 15-20 people. I spent the night having a good time, chatting with her enough to keep her comfortable but not being too overbearing. I went outside the apartment for awhile and hung out with some other friends, giving her a friendly suggestion to socialize a bit and make some new friends.
Now, I'm not sure what was said, but all I know is that about an hour later, she came down to tell me that all my supposed friends (including my roommates) thought I was a douche-bag and that she thought I should know. Wanting to avoid drama, I immediately went upstairs, talked to my roommates in private, and sorted everything out. Turns out that it was a misunderstanding about a small issue, and my roommate apologized for not coming to me directly. So I figured, whatever, no big deal, went back to the party.
Later that night, after babysitting one of the younger guys who was drunk out of his mind, I found out (through my visiting friend) that my roommates had been talking to her about all my "failed exploits" in the sexual department. At this point I'm not sure who to trust. All I'm getting is half of the conversation, and everyone seems to forget what was really said and who said it due to the alcohol.
I'm not sure how to handle this. I want to get along with my roommates, but I can't help but feel really betrayed about all this hearsay and gossip. I thought that at this stage in my life, I was past all that. I've been making lots of friends (or so I thought) and this is the first party that anything like this has happened. Should I directly confront my roommates, or should I just let things go?
I want to trust my friend, and I want to trust my roommates, but it seems like I'm not getting straight answers from anyone. I just want to know that the people that I've considered friends aren't stabbing me in the back.
Thanks for reading.
~ Tee