I came into contact with an ex partner whom I dated many years ago. We have been speaking for almost 3 months and during that time he has pressured me into taking pity on him, telling me he can't afford to eat, pay rent on his shop etc. He is quite aware that I have recently come out of a ten and a half year domestic violent relationship and has played on this emotionally by telling me he loves me and wants me to move to where he lives which is a two hour drive from where I am at the moment so he can take care of me and my three boys. I have saved text messages from him pleading for money from me telling me I am all he has and that if he don't pay the rent on his shop he will have to move back to spain. I have sent him in total £220 into his bank account in bits and pieces plus sent him a tesco direct shop to his home as he was crying to me that he had no food for his son, this cost me almost £80. I had no reason whatsoever to disbelieve him and on all occasions before I sent him money I did ask him if he was being loyal and honest to me as I have 3 boys of my own to feed etc.
After the last deposit to his account 2 days ago I have had abbusive threatening telephone calls and messages from another female from his mobile phone, laughing at me and asking if I can send them some more money to go out with.
How do I get my money back?
Can I get my money back?
Can I report him?
What can I do?

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Originally Posted by bumb1ebee

I came into contact with an ex partner whom i dated many years ago. We have been speaking for almost 3 months and during that time he has pressured me into taking pity on him, telling me he can't afford to eat, pay rent on his shop etc. He is quite aware that i have recently come out of a ten and a half year domestic violent relationship and has played on this emotionally by telling me he loves me and wants me to move to where he lives which is a two hour drive from where i am at the moment so he can take care of me and my three boys. I have saved text messages from him pleading for money from me telling me i am all he has and that if he dont pay the rent on his shop he will have to move back to spain. I have sent him in total £220 into his bank account in bits and pieces plus sent him a tesco direct shop to his home as he was crying to me that he had no food for his son, this cost me almost £80. I had no reason whatsoever to disbelieve him and on all occasions before i sent him money i did ask him if he was being loyal and honest to me as i have 3 boys of my own to feed ect.
After the last deposit to his account 2 days ago i have had abbusive threatening telephone calls and messages from another female from his mobile phone, laughing at me and asking if i can send them some more money to go out with.
How do i get my money back?
Can i get my money back?
Can i report him?
What can i do?

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First of all, I don't see any blackmail here. He isn't holding something over you that you want to keep from others like an affair or something illegal that you did.
Threatening to move back to Spain isn't blackmail, losing his shop isn't blackmail,
I would be telling him bye and let him move then there would be more distance between you and him.

Second, while you are allowing him to take advantage of you the good thing is it looks like you didn't fall for the ''I want to take care of you''
IF he really wanted to take care of you he wouldn't need to be harassing and threatening you to give him money.

Why do you keep sending him money though??
What would he really do if you didn't?
You do need to take all your evidence and go after him legally.
You probably won't be able to get your money back out of him but you need to do something and I doubt he will just quit because you tell him to quit.

You need to report him with the evidence and take him to court even though you may never see a dime back


Don't answer his calls or emails or any blocked calls and next time you do happen to hear from him tell him you are broke too.
You have to be one step ahead of him. He sees you are vulnerable and he is using it to his advantage

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

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You do need to take all your evidence and go after him legally.
...
You need to report him with the evidence and take him to court even though you may never see a dime back
...

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Evidence of what? The OP gave the man some money. It was a gift. She can't sue him to get it back.

Exactly my point she doesn't have any.
She can sue but most likely won't get anything.
If she can prove some of the money was a loan then maybe she could get something back.
Or if she saved phone messages where he threatens her
Can't she say that he pressured her?