I neeed help! My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3yrs. I love him dearly and he is great to both of my daughter that are not his children. This year I got really sick and they are not sure what is wrong with me. The doctors at first thought I had Chron's and determined later it was not that. So I kind of need his help with my kids because I have no family around and a full time job.

He has had a rough patch this year maintaing a job. So he was receivng unemployment. He lied about two months ago and said his payments had stopped. Well I just found out this week they haven't and he has been telling me he can't help with any of the bills. He also has been calling single chat lines several times a day while I am at work or asleep. Lying and say he is working a one day shift and not going to work because how can you be at work in a warehouse and be on the phone all night.

Please help me.

Well we are going to tell you to leave, you aren't happy, you aren't fulfilling each other's needs and he is being at the very least disrespectful of your relationship.

You already set up all of the excuses why you don't want to leave, so we can tell you the right thing, but it isn't what you want to hear or anything you will be willing to follow through on.

You can ask him to attend counseling.

Sounds like once he finds someone on the chats he may just be out the door so he is just biding his time using your comforts of home until his better offer comes along.

Time for the BIG talk I would suggest. What he is doing is dishonest and he's using you.

I'd confront him about it and ask him what going on - it may be a temporary aberration, then again, he might be showing his true colors.

If he can't give you a good explanation and demonstrate that he can contribute to your lifestyle I'd tell him to shape up or ship out.

Block your phone from calling those chat lines. Call your carrier and request it.In my state it is free.Those calls are super expensive.You could easily find yourself with a $500.00 phone bill.

Clearly,he is not stepping up to the plate anymore and not taking care of you so I would say,you need to find some other means of help during this difficult time.

It sounds like while he was dependable in the past,he no longer is.Perhaps you need to take a medical leave of absence until you can get further help.

I would not rely on him,he just may leave you high and dry.He is at best separating himself from you emotionally by chatting with other women.

Once someone starts lying trust goes out the door.

The reality of things is that he isn't the man he once was. He have turned into a compulsive liar and he is up to no good.

Now I don't know what his job title at his job but when don't think for one minute he can't call the chatline while he is working. Also, how can he be receiving unemployement benefits if he is working?

Time for you not lean nor stay with him because you have no family or friends--dont let this be your reasons for staying. Get out and make friends. I know you have kids and it might be hard but you can meet others parents at the park, library, etc. They might have a parents groups in your town that you can join and you can search on this site Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com I am member of a Parents want to have fun group in New York. So check the site out.

The truth of the matter is you should never settle nor stay with someone especially if they make you unhappy. A mate is suppose add to your life not take away with it.

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Originally Posted by artlady

Block your phone from calling those chat lines. Call your carrier and request it.In my state it is free.Those calls are super expensive.You could easily find yourself with a $500.00 phone bill.

Clearly,he is not stepping up to the plate anymore and not taking care of you so I would say,you need to find some other means of help during this difficult time.

It sounds like while he was dependable in the past,he no longer is.Perhaps you need to take a medical leave of absence until you can get further help.

I would not rely on him,he just may leave you high and dry.He is at best separating himself from you emotionally by chatting with other women.

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That's exactly what I would have said.

Really if he is calling chat lines from the phone then she should get herself a good cell phone and him a pay as you go phone and put only so many hours on it.

How can you possibly tke care of yourself if you're busy worring and taking care of this grown man? If he can't be truthful and honest with you after 3 years why would you want to continue in this non relationship?. Is that the type of relationship you'd be happy to see your daughters in? Take care of yourself and your beautiful children, they are the ones that desrve the energy you do have not this man who can't put energy towards your well being.;)

Two things I must add:
He is getting underemployment due to lack of hours
And he is using his cell phone to make these calls maybe with his prepaid CC

Oh he has his own money to pay for his own phone. Then there's nothing you can really do other than tell him you've had it with him up to here basically and show him the door

Time to kick him to the curb.

You don't need him in your life. You deserve better.dump asap