Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   He was the hunter but now is a flake (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=386935)

  • Aug 14, 2009, 05:46 PM
    Sassyk
    He was the hunter but now is a flake
    Hi everyone. I'm new to this but I need helping in figuring out what just happened between me and this guy. I met him and he pursued me for a bit. We'd mainly just talk on the phone and then we started hanging out. Once we finally became intimate, he wanted to be with me every day. He'd say that I seem less interested in him then he was always the one to initiate contact with me. He asked me to be exclusive with him and I hestitated but then said OK. He would tell how happy he is with me and he'd get upset if I couldn't see him.
    We spent the weekend at my apt together and everything was good. He left my home Tuesday morning and didn't hear from him until I texted him Thursday night to ask if he was OK. I called him and we went back and forth about how we hadn't spken for a couple of days. He made a comment about how I can call him rather than wait for him to call. We hang up. He immediately starts sending me these texts thAT we rushed into a relationship but he doesn't hate me and he hopes I don't hate him either. He also mentioned that my fb status didn't say anything about my relationship.
    I texted him that I was confused by all this and just kept talking needing space because he felt things happened too fast.
    I sat on the text for 2 hours before responding. My response was, "I agree that we rushed into the relationship, too. I'll give you space".
    The dude has the nerve to text me this, "hi Hun. What are your plans for tonight" when I got off work this afternoon.
    What the heck gives. He asked for space and in less than 24 hrs he's contacting asking to hook up. I haven't responded but what should I do??
  • Aug 14, 2009, 06:07 PM
    Justwantfair

    What you have on your hands is not a hunter.
    Sounds like a insecure, clingy, dependent potential boyfriend.
    You have the warning signs.
    What do you plan to do with them?
  • Aug 14, 2009, 06:33 PM
    N0help4u

    As well as what justwantfair said
    He sounds like he has his mind on 'running' a relationship according to his preconceived ideas and you are to follow the script like you can read his mind.

    I would have told him ''Your d@mn right we rushed into a relationship I thought it was what you wanted''.

    If his clingy self persists in this behavior I would RUN if I were you.
  • Aug 14, 2009, 11:05 PM
    Gemini54
    He sounds like trouble with a capital T.

    Clearly he doesn't know how he feels, what he thinks or what he wants. If he's like this now, what's he going to be like in a month, 6 months, a year? You'll be exhausted and still not know what he wants.

    Run for the hills on this one. He's an emotional retard.
  • Aug 14, 2009, 11:18 PM
    artlady

    Tell him you are too old for games and men who can't make a decision ,then look at it as a saving grace that you didn't invest more time in him and move on!
  • Aug 16, 2009, 07:51 AM
    s_cianci
    Here's what you should do; take his question at face value. What are you doing tonight? If the answer is "nothing special" and you feel that you want to spend time with him, then do it. Otherwise, just respond by saying "sorry, but I have plans for this evening." Don't try to figure him out because you'll only end up frustrating yourself. Your life and your time are yours. If he indicates that he wants to be a part of it, then it's up to you to decide whether to allow him to or not.
  • Aug 16, 2009, 04:14 PM
    chuff

    If you or him have to text to talk to one another that's a problem right there.
  • Aug 16, 2009, 10:26 PM
    Starry nights

    He's looking for a mind-reader and therapist if you ask me and not a girl-friend!He wants you to tell him what he wants since he doesn't seem to know himself but simultaneously he wants you to tow his line and perform according to his wishes.

    He's complicated and the kind who's going to make you go through an emotional roller-coaster.Take things into your own hand and deal with this dude strictly rather than giving in.
  • Aug 17, 2009, 08:34 AM
    talaniman

    He is not confused, or complicated at all, the way I see it. He doesn't want a relationship with you, just no strings attached sex, when he wants it. That simple. What you do about it is up to you.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:43 PM.