I can't confide in my friends and family about my problems, even though I am very close to them. Lately I feel trapped and claustrophobic doing normal routine things that have never made me feel that way before. I can't stand crying or being emotional in front of other people, if I do have to cry it needs to be by myself. The worse part about that is when I finally do let myself be emotional, I completley freak. Sometimes I'm angry and I throw and hit things until my hands are bleeding, or other times I cry and start feeling like I can't breathe, and start throwing up. Either I cannot sleep at all, or sleep way too much, usually about 12 or 13 hours. Im not sure if these are things I can fix myself, if its happening because I am stressing too much, or if its something I need to get help with.

Emily, you sound in pretty bad shape. The way you feel and react are far below normal responses. I had considered first that you would be having anxiety attacks but when it turns into self mutiliation that is a different story. It sounds like it goes way beyond just stress.

I can't see how your family members haven't noticed these reactions from you, they are so violent.

I would suggest you talk to a family member, your mother or father, seek professional help to overcome these unusual unnacceptable responses even if they are in private, and because they are in private makes them far too dangerous.

Tick

You need to talk to someone you trust. You say you are very close to your family but you do not confide in them? This does not make sense to me. You must break through and trust someone and talk about your problems this is healthy and sets you free from all those difficult emotions. Bottling things up is what causes the emotional pain you are suffering, and I must tell you you are suffering needlessly - you will find once you decide to trust someone and confide in them you will start to feel better already. This is how you will get better and there is nothing to be scared of.