I can't enjoy sex. At my wit's end
I've been with my partner for over a year and a half and every other aspect of our relationship is perfect, except sex. He loves sex but as much as I try, I can't enjoy it and it makes him feel guilty every time we do make love because it hurts me, then I feel bad for not being able to give him sex and enjoy such a major part of our relationship, which then upsets him because he's inadvertently upset me. It's a horrible vicious cycle that gets both of us down.
I get a lot of pain during sex, like a burning feeling in the first inch or two inside my vagina, and tends to split the skin at the bottom of the opening to my vagina, between the labia above my clitoris and sometimes my perineum.
Sex has never been great from what I can remember. I have had sex twice before him but neither were positive experiences, and both times I was a little less than sober. I've been to the gyn countless times and been told everything is how it should be and yet it still hurts. The gyn appointments ironically don't hurt at all. I know he's girthy but surely a speculum is bigger!
I've tried various types of lube, thrush treatments, vaginosis treatments, Replens MD and quite frankly, my doctor is sick of seeing me now. I'm at a loss of what I can do. The only things I can think of is maybe seeing a dermatologist or a psychologist but that seems like such a stab in the dark. Has anyone heard of skin splitting a lot down there? I also get a lot of anal fissures and recently my crack cracked so I've pretty much split from front to back now.
Any help at all would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.