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-   -   Husband gay or bi-sexual? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=386270)

  • Aug 12, 2009, 04:33 PM
    mustangchristy77
    Husband gay or bi-sexual?
    I found 50 or so gay porn clips on my husbands computer. I also found multiple dildos hidden in the house. I'm so confused! He says he likes to have anal sex and wants me to do it to him with the ones I've found. He says he's not gay or bi... I'm upset and confused.:confused::confused::(
  • Aug 12, 2009, 05:10 PM
    MsEmily

    An interest in anal sex does not have anything to do with sexual orientation. It is true that gay porn is more likely to show men having anal sex, and if your husband has an interest in this activity, especially being the recipient, it's not uncommon that he would look to gay porn to find information.

    I highly recommend that you discuss his interest with him and determine how willing you are to participate for his sexual enjoyment. I also recommend that he (and you) get a copy of "Anal Sex and Health" before doing anything physically. There are some health issues in regards to anal sex. Done properly, it can be quite pleasurable; done incorrectly, it can be painful and could lead to permanent damage.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 08:39 PM
    RedMermaid

    Don't be afraid of anal sex with your husband!
    It can be a very satisfying experience for a man, since anal sex stimulates the prostate directly, which could be compared to a woman's g-spot, thus resulting in a much more intensified orgasm.
    Take some time and research Prostate Massage with your husband, you can find endless reading material on the internet if you don't want to go to a store or library.
    Be sure to tell him how you feel, if your confused or nervous, but try to stay open to his feelings too.
    Male anal sex is not gay. My boyfriend loves prostate massage, and he is absolutely heterosexual.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 08:41 PM
    RedMermaid
    And also try to remember that society tells us that men who have anal sex are gay, so maybe that is why he kept it secret.
    He could be confused himself, knowing that he is straight, but enjoys something that society says he shouldn't.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 10:38 PM
    Synnen

    Does wanting someone to lick your woohoo mean that YOU are a lesbian?

    Of COURSE not.

    Being gay or bi has to do with WHO you are enjoying sex acts with--not WHAT the sex acts are.
  • Aug 13, 2009, 06:20 AM
    smoothy

    Go with your husband to a shop that rents adult videos... there are some videos that have women using strap-on on guys... lots of women get off on it. Consider it something to add to your stable of tricks you can engoy together.

    And no he doesn't have to be either gay or even bi. Like was mentioned, the gay clips are just easier to find.
  • Aug 14, 2009, 06:27 PM
    frostybabygurl
    Your husband showing an interest in anal sex doesn't mean he's gay, it's just something that turns him on. It's no more different than a woman enjoying watching porn with lesbian action, it doesn't mean she's a lesbian, it's just something that gets her going. It's good to try and be open minded and expand your sexual experiences, as long as your both comfortable and willing, give it a try, you just might enjoy it ;)
  • Aug 14, 2009, 06:53 PM
    Alty

    Not gay. Anal sex is great, for both men and women alike.

    I think it's wonderful that he's this open about what he likes, most men are too ashamed to admit they like anal play.

    Go with it, enjoy it.
  • Aug 15, 2009, 10:15 PM
    tai18

    Nothing is wrong with anal BUT gay porn clips and hidden dildoes that you didn't hide seem very fishy.. maybe he is just curious & fantasizing or something there's a reason for everything I would ask him again.
  • Aug 15, 2009, 10:36 PM
    hheath541

    Like everyone else has said, an interest in anal sex doesn't mean he has an interest in sex with me. Explore the option with him and see if it's something you'd like to try out.

    Like others have said, you should research the topic more thoroughly. You should have all the facts, including health risks, before trying anything.

    I'm just curious about one thing (which you can feel free to completely ignore); how many places can you hide dildos? I can understand in he bedroom, and maybe even the bathroom, but other places just don't make sense to me. Were they in the kitchen or under the couch or something? Why not just have a central stash to keep hidden in one place?
  • Aug 17, 2009, 03:35 AM
    miles_ko
    Maybe he want something new and new experience.. he might want to have more fun when you both having sex.. why don't you try what he wants you to do.. you might find out why he wants you to do that.. and also try him to do it to you too.. you'll see what will everythings go..

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