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  • Aug 11, 2009, 06:28 PM
    Alty
    5 % are bad
    One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
    When he returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not. God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.' So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.

    When the angel returned he went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true.The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.'

    God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.

    Do you know what the e-mail said?



    Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 07:42 PM
    friend4u178

    Ha Ha... God must read the SAG threads too Alty ;)
  • Aug 11, 2009, 07:47 PM
    Alty
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by friend4u178 View Post
    Ha Ha..................God must read the SAG threads too Alty ;)
    Damn.

    Oh well, hell, here I come. :D
  • Aug 11, 2009, 11:21 PM
    HelpinHere

    Yep, it said "If you kill 95% of the human population, I will give you 72 virgins!"
    (joking, of course! :P)


    Or, maybe they were to the 5% of Amish people in the world! That would show the us technologically-dependent folks! :D
  • Aug 11, 2009, 11:25 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by HelpinHere View Post
    Yep, it said "If you kill 95% of the human population, I will give you 72 virgins!"
    I've always wondered what the 72 virgins thought about awaiting to be molested by criminals... Hhmmmmm :cool:

    And 72 virgins for each one... thats a hell of a lot of virgins :cool:
  • Aug 11, 2009, 11:29 PM
    Alty
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by friend4u178 View Post
    I've always wondered what the 72 virgins thought about awaiting to be molested by criminals......Hhmmmmm :cool:

    And 72 virgins for each one.................thats a hell of a lot of virgins :cool:
    Who would want 72 virgins, that's my question. Wouldn't you rather have 72 hookers? At least they know what they're doing. ;)

    Great, now 72 virgins are going to flog me. :(
  • Aug 11, 2009, 11:34 PM
    HelpinHere

    Hehe, think about it... it never says 72 FEMALE virgins..
    I say it's this: (Sad, but true. This is your advance warning.)
    Some aborted babies.
    Some miscarries.
    Some still births.
    Some dead infants/toddlers/children.
    Some teenagers (we all know there aren't many teens who die virgins out there)
    Nuns/monks/etc. who take a vow of celebacy.
    Sexually unappealing people (guys and girls) who can't get a mate.

    Seriously, if the 72 virgins was true (which I don't believe it is) then I see this as the only way there would be enough... :( :p
  • Aug 11, 2009, 11:36 PM
    Alty
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by HelpinHere View Post
    Hehe, think about it... it never says 72 FEMALE virgins..
    I say it's this: (Sad, but true. This is your advance warning.)
    Some aborted babies.
    Some miscarries.
    Some still births.
    Some dead infants/toddlers/children.
    Some teenagers (we all know there aren't many teens who die virgins out there)
    Nuns/monks/etc. who take a vow of celebacy.
    Sexually unappealing people (guys and girls) who can't get a mate.

    Seriously, if the 72 virgins was true (which I don't believe it is) then I see this as the only way there would be enough... :( :p
    :eek:

    That does it, I definitely don't want 72 virgins. I don't even want one. :eek:
  • Aug 11, 2009, 11:53 PM
    HelpinHere

    Face it, besides the VERY FEW mature dead virgins out there, you are screwed (no pun intended). And, there are probably more people waiting on their virgins than the "good" virgins are out there...

    (I just hope some suicide bomber is reading this and realizing how stupid it is now.)
  • Aug 11, 2009, 11:55 PM
    Alty
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by HelpinHere View Post
    Face it, besides the VERY FEW mature dead virgins out there, you are screwed (no pun intended). And, there are probably more people waiting on their virgins than the "good" virgins are out there...

    (I just hope some suicide bomber is reading this and realizing how stupid it is now.)
    If only. ;)

    Ah, I've had virgins, not 72 but enough that I don't ever want to do it again! ;)

    Wait... oops, wrong thread! :(
  • Aug 12, 2009, 02:59 AM
    shazamataz

    Awww I've never had a virgin... I want one.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 03:11 AM
    Catsmine
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by shazamataz View Post
    Awww I've never had a virgin... I want one.
    No, you don't

    It re-defines awkward.
  • Aug 15, 2009, 05:05 AM
    adam_89

    I would have like to have a virgin sometime. The first time I had sex was with a virgin but that doesn't count. I would have given it a whirl, but hell the only virgins with in 100 miles of me are 12 year olds if that. So I guess count me out.

    With that 72 virgin thing, I bet it would be 72 virgin guys for each terrorist bomber to rape them for eternity.
  • Aug 15, 2009, 09:00 AM
    shazamataz
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
    No, you don't

    It re-defines awkward.
    Haha, now you have to share that story in the other thread :p

    It's strange, I opened this thread and forgot what we were talking about at first...

    There's a movie on TV about a guy trying to get his 16 year old nephew laid because he is a virgin... co-in-ki-dink ? ;)
  • Aug 15, 2009, 09:11 AM
    artlady

    Gee,I got mine months ago but I promised to keep it secret :)
  • Aug 15, 2009, 09:26 AM
    Catsmine
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    Gee,I got mine months ago but I promised to keep it secret :)
    You got a virgin, Arty?

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