I'm 14, and I'm still a virgin. But ever since I was about 12 I have wanted a baby.
You see all these happy couples and young mums with babies and I just feel like I want one. But I think I would cope. But what I really want to know is will people look down at me and say stuff about me if I get pregnant?

I really want to know. How you know when your ready for sex?

If you have to ask, then you're not ready.

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Originally Posted by fakeasmile

im 14, and im still a virgin. but ever since i was about 12 i have wanted a baby.
you see all these happy couples and young mums with babies and i just feel like i want one. but i think i would cope. but what i really want to know is will people look down at me and say stuff about me if i get pregnant?

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What do you think having a baby involves?

What kind of job do you have?

Can you afford doctors bills, food, a roof over your head, diapers, crib, etc. etc.

How do you feel about being a single mom?

What about school? You do realize that most teen moms don't finish school, that will definitely put you in a lower earning capacity.

Babies aren't easy, in fact, it's the hardest job you'll ever have and it's 24/7 for the rest of your life.

Forget about all the fun things that teens are supposed to do, parties, dating, hanging out with friends, you won't be doing that with a baby.

Write me a list of what you think a baby will cost every month, then write a list of how much money you make every month. Realize that you'll probably be on your own, your parents shouldn't have to raise your child, nor should the taxpayers have to pay for you to get what you want.

Write your list, then we'll talk.

Many teen age girls want babies

Is it bad?
NO

Is it practical?
NO

Will people look down on you?
In a sense yeah because they will think you made a bad decision and weren't thinking the reality through.
So they will see you as an immature teen basically

You see all the happy couples are in good solid relationships while teenage girls are wanting to be mommy so get with wrong daddy.
Bf's are not thinking OH boy, I want baby.
They are thinking $CREW this girl.
Then girl is pregnant
Daddy RUNS
Girl has baby
Girl $CREW$ daddy for child $upport.
Daddy stuck with child support for next 18 yrs
Girl gets tired of novelty baby
Dumps baby on mommy & daddy
Mom and dad stuck with unplanned baby
Girl goes back to being typical teen.

14 yr old girl gets older boy
Older boy gets in legal trouble for being with jail bait.

When you are ready, you will know. Don't make the mistake of doing it just to get it over with. Been there, done that, and it hurts.

I still do not understand when I hear young girls say they want a baby! I had my daughter when I was 18 and looking back that was still too young. My ex was around for a little bit on and off but never for her only to bother me. Also I had a pretty good job working at a hospital in their business office but it still wasn't enough money to support us. Frequently had utilities shut off also was evicted. So at the legal age of an adult it was sooo hard for me I can only imagine how hard it would be for someone as young as you! In most states you are still too young to even work legally. Don't do it! A baby is not a toy! Don't become another statistic on welfare

It's not bad, its pretty normal. But following through would be VERY foolish and VERY selfish.

You are thinkng more about what you want not about what a baby needs. Yes you see happy COUPLES, the keyword is couples. People in a committed relationship who have had a baby after planning for one.

How many teens have you seen harried and harassed by having to deal with a baby before they were financially and emotionally ready.

Is it bad to WANT a baby at that age? NO!
Is it bad to HAVE a baby at that age? YES!

You "see all these happy couples and young mums with babies"?
Find me one couple your age, with a baby, who is truly happy, please. Wait, what's that? You can't? You can find single mothers, but they aren't happy with it either. That's because they realized their mistake too late. Not only can you not take care of yourself, you can't take care of a baby. (see the four posts above mine) We can tell you this all day, but unless you actually want to make a good decision, which is a rare trait in kids your age, (this generation is going down the drain) you still probably won't listen.

Go tell your mom to buy you a vibrator to get your teenage sexual desires out of the way, and get these insane ideas out of your head.

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I really want to know. How you know when your ready for sex?

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When your mature enough to be able to deal with whatever consequences your actions bring you. Like babies, or disease.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

When your mature enough to be able to deal with whatever consequences your actions bring you. Like babies, or disease.

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Had to spread the love Tal but I agree.

Like I said, 21. ;)

Actually, let me alter that. When you have a ring on your finger and a marriage certificate, a roof over your head (that you're paying for) food in the fridge, money in the bank, then you can have sex.

Realistic? Maybe not. Wishful thinking? Ya.

I have an idea, ask your mom. Ask her "If I have sex, and have a baby, would I need your help to take care of it?"

The day she says no is the day you're ready for sex.

Hollywood has made having a baby in your early teen years a happy thing, an exciting possibility, and a casual event. This is not the case.

Wanting to have a baby is a great thing! You'll be a wonderful mother some day... when you're mature enough to take care of the little one.

When a woman has a baby, SO many things change... emotionally, physically, financially, socially, soooo many things...

Being responsible for a little life while trying to make it through Algebra is not a headache that you need.

I think it's awesome that you want to have a baby someday. Have you ever thought of volunteering with Big Brothers/Big Sisters? You could really make a difference in the life of a child... and be able to be a kid yourself when you want to be.

You are still just a baby. You need to experience life still. There is so much to do before you have a baby. When you get old enough and want to go out and do things, you won't be able to, you will have to stay home and watch the baby. Live your life before you settle down. It's a very big responsibility to have a baby.

I am 16, and one of my best friends has a 2yr old son, and the other is currently 7months pregnant. I see everything they go through, and honestly its not worth it. The stress, waking up 6, 7 times a night cause the baby can't sleep, or if he's grumpy during the day you can't do anything because the baby is screaming and angry. Also the fact that you won't be able to live a normal teenage life. My friend can't just get up and leave when we want to go get something to eat, or just hang out after school, the baby always comes first. Plus the expenses, unless you are well prepared, you won't have much money for spending on yourself anymore, and will spend a lot of time working just to keep up with the baby's needs. It's also very unfair for the to have to grow up in a house hold that is not a happy mom and dad, and stable. Having a baby is a decsion that will effect the rest of your life. And sex is a completely different problem, I went through the same thing at 14, I made a huge mistake that I still regret to this day. I didn't think it was a big deal, and found out too late it was. It's very emotional and personal. Besides the constant worry of stds and pregnancy. Just some things to think about...

To be honest, nearly every girl wants a child when there younger as they see all these happy couples and stuff, but they just don't see the inside of this relationship, they look all happy but half aren't! You think wow! I want to be like that, but there is never just a 'happy family' plus you think oyur ready but your not :), your still a child yourself, you may be mature for your age but you wouldn't cope! Think about things such as how would you pay for the baby, there very exspensive, and you wouldn't be able to earn money yourself as your too young and you won't find a job as your looking after a baby 24/7 and you won't have grades as you had to quit school early. Plus you don't get family allowance and things like that for your child till your 16. And even then that doesn't go far ! Plus what person would want to be a dad at this age too. You need to wait till your old enough and in love. I don't want to sound as if I'm lecturing you , but I know people who have been through it can even though they love there child, they can't cope, and a lot of teenagers go through depression after birth and a lot don;'t realise how hard its going to be. If you keep feeling this way, talk to your parent about it. Plus you haven't had sex yet so how do you think you can fall pregnant with out finding the guy you love to 'do it' with? Hope this helpss :)
Kayleigh x

There's a difference in wanting a baby and considering having one and beliveing you are ready for one. I have wanted a baby forever. They're adorable, and they will love you. But I would not try to have one now. Why? Because I'm 16 and cannot provide a stable environment for it.

I pretty much agree with everyone else here. Have you ever watched Secret Life of the American Teenager! Enough said. She got it easy... but she's still having major issues.. and life is not as easy as it is on TV. So think twice, or maybe three times before just having sex.
CONSEQUENCES

I am 16. Yes, I have thought about it, it seems like a cute idea in my head, the young happy couple and their baby.. being a family an all that. But you have so much life ahead of you, your not even at a legal age, which means trouble for you and the new daddy. And as for what the right age is, one day you will find someone where that question doesn't exist, you will just know its right.

And just a story. There's a guy in my grade who's going out with a girl older than him. She decided she wanted a baby, and without telling him, she went off the pill and got pregnant. He was shocked, but now he wants it too. She goes to a private school, which is considering suspending her. Her parents have kicked her out of home. And her boyfriend has to leave school and get a full time job, just so they can rent an apartment. Basically, both their lives are pretty messed up.

Like everyone has already told you, yes it is normal for you to feel like you want to have a baby. Not only are you are in drastic point of change in your life where your hormones are going haywire but you think you see happy examples everywhere.

This is an example of what you may see in a Super Market: A young mom and her baby, probably talking baby talk to a giggling infant while picking out a cute new outfit or maybe just getting groceries.

This seems like such a sweet wonderful thing and you think ,Wow, she's so happy and so is that baby. I could do that.

What you don't see. Mommy crying herself to sleep at night only to be awoken every hour or two, her grades are falling and she may have to drop out soon, as it is she can't go out and have fun with her friends, turns out her boyfriends definition of "forever" actually meant until you get pregnant and even though she loves her baby at the same time she is trying to deny rising resentment at everything the baby has cost her and to top it all off her parents are threatening to kick her out.
She gets up in the morning, puts on her happy face and goes to the store.

People don't tend to show all of these thoughts and emotions like in the example I gave you to the world. You don't see what is going on in the "happy" mommy's head.

I guess it's completely nature to want a baby. But at your age, having a child will absolutely change your life. It will come first, and you will not be able to do all of the things that kids your age do. What about the parties, vacations, amusement parks, the prom even? You don't think that you'll be able to go places like you do now?

No, it's not something that someone your age should be even thinking about. Wait, live your life. Have experiences that you can tell your granchildren one day. See the world, have a boyfriend, or two, before you make such a commitment.

Historianchick made a GREAT suggestion, do some volunteering a church, or a daycare center. It will do things. It will let you see the tremendous responsibilties that come with a small child or infant. And it will get you some experience.

I promise, you'll probably be happy to hand them back over to their parents.

I wish you luck. Now go do something fun, like your supposed to do.