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-   -   Keeping the ring but losing me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=385704)

  • Aug 11, 2009, 07:14 AM
    andrekruger
    Keeping the ring but losing me?
    My fiancé and I broke up recently, over some things I said in the heat of the moment (which I honestly didn't mean), and that triggered her to break things off completely, and as a result she does not answer any of my calls or mails, but what I don't understand is that she asked me to remove all of my possesions from the house, but she asked if she could keep the ring, which she still wears, and she has not taken down the photo of us on her bedside table.

    What does this mean? I am confused as can be.

    Why would she get 'rid' of me and everything that reminds her of me, yet keep the one thing that is the most obvious reminder of them all.

    Can someone please tell me what she is trying to tell me, for I am clearly missing something here

    :(
  • Aug 11, 2009, 07:33 AM
    kctiger

    Ordinarily the ring is worth the most money...
  • Aug 11, 2009, 07:43 AM
    adam_89

    Yes, the ring is worth money she could get something out of it.

    Maybe she wants to hang on but needs her space for now.
  • Aug 11, 2009, 07:47 AM
    andrekruger
    Thank you for the replies, I really appreciate it. My feeling is like you said adam_89, she needs her space, but she is holding on, because (knowing her), she would have given the ring back to me, and the photograph would not be up, but it would be in the dustbin or burned by now...
  • Aug 11, 2009, 07:53 AM
    adam_89

    Exactly, You would think that would be the first thing to go. I'm sure of some time thinking she will want you back. No guarantees, so don't live your life by this. I know when I broke up with my ex the ring was the first thing to be given back.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 04:52 AM
    andrekruger

    Thanks again, and it seems she does not want to give the ring back, she is not returning any of my calls.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 05:19 AM
    sully123

    Please give us more info, what led up to this..
  • Aug 12, 2009, 05:33 AM
    babyygirllx3
    Deleted for chat/text, bad spelling, and grammar. Take this as a fair warning for future posting.- Moderator.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 05:44 AM
    andrekruger

    I should add to the mix, that before my time (her ex) was very critical of her, and she has some major issues due to him. Now, she always said to me that she wants nothing to do with him, and never wants to hear from etc etc (yet, he is one of her friends on facebook), and after one fight we had, I found out she was happily messaging him. Now I don't understand how she can say that about him, yes do what she did?

    Anyway, because of that incident, I don't feel I can trust what she says, and the whole things came back full-circle with her saying she is sick of me not trusting her.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 05:47 AM
    andrekruger
    Thanks babyygirllx3. I don't mind her keeping the stuff, if she wants to sell the ring for money that is OK by me, I just want to know why she can't give me a staright-up answer
  • Aug 12, 2009, 05:51 AM
    babyygirllx3
    Deleted for chat/text, bad spelling, and grammar. Take this as a fair warning for future posting.- Moderator.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 06:00 AM
    andrekruger
    The thing is, my instincts have always told me there is something "missing", and that where there is smoke, there is a fire...

    A few of my friends have told me to watch out for her, as she uses you, which I obviously chose to ignore, but so many people can't be wrong, and looking at her actions (or lack of it for that matter), I am beginning to believe I was just another sucker...
  • Aug 12, 2009, 06:02 AM
    adam_89

    Ya know, If I was you I would call her up and leave a message saying that you want the ring back or you will take it to court. Tell her it was a promise on her part to stay with you not a gift so I would do it just because you can, maybe she will realize what she is putting you through.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 06:06 AM
    babyygirllx3
    Deleted for chat/text, bad spelling, and grammar. Take this as a fair warning for future posting.- Moderator.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 06:09 AM
    adam_89

    Agreed. She shouldn't have done that to you, so don't live in the past and live for what could have been, live for what is to come.

    I am not telling you to be mean to her but just take the bull by the horns on this one. I'm sure you will find that girl down the road who will keep a ring for a different reason.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 06:13 AM
    andrekruger

    Thank you for your insight guys and gals :-)

    I am not a mean person, and I won't resort to mean tactics, I just want an answer, but if it is what you guys (and a few other people), are saying, then I just have to cut my losses and move on, which is what I am doing as we speak.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 06:17 AM
    babyygirllx3
    Deleted for chat/text, bad spelling, and grammar. Take this as a fair warning for future posting.- Moderator.
  • Aug 12, 2009, 06:20 AM
    adam_89

    Just another side. If she was great and worth keeping then there is always the chance of fighting to get her back and trying to get her back in your arms. If it was more complex and you feel moving on is a better option then go ahead but if there was truly something there then don't let the one you loved slip through your hands so easily.

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