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-   -   Why don't they stay? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=385036)

  • Aug 9, 2009, 12:21 PM
    stephaniecon
    Why don't they stay?
    What is the girls role when it comes to meeting new guys. Steve Harvey says women must have standards and act lady like. I believe him because in ways being lady like shows confidence , but I also believe a woman should be herself even if it may not come across lady like. Ive been acting like myself I don't lie to sound better or more appealing to men which I am proud of. But I just don't understand why they don't ever stay long enough. They always seem the first to leave, I just don't get it. I'm not a peoples person or outgoing I just want to have my desired goals accomplished with a good man by my side. Let me see I'm sweet, nice, funny, spoiled and a little negative. I may in a way sometimes come off bossy but its just my way of showing people you're not listening. Guys usually see my picture and get excited to converse with me but after a while things die out. I don't want to bash my personality because I love it but I just don't know why people just stop, my family can't stand me either. How can I keep the men I first excite from leaving me later?
  • Aug 9, 2009, 12:29 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma

    You haven't met the right person yet. I whole-heartedly believe that there is one right person for everyone. Perhaps that person has not come along yet.

    I agree with you, I think its best not to sugar coat who you are. That will just make someone peace out sooner. Honesty tends to scare some people though. I think you are doing right?

    Have you ever tried speed dating? You only hang out for 5 minutes, and talk. If there is some sort of connection then you can exchange numbers.
  • Aug 9, 2009, 12:33 PM
    I wish
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma View Post
    You haven't met the right person yet.

    Had to spread rep. That's probably the most obvious part.

    You can't be a perfect fit with everyone in the entire world.

    I would say, just keep being yourself and keep trying to meet new people. There's bound to be someone that matches your personality.

    I have a suggestion, but it could take a little courrage. We haven't spoken to you in person, so we have no idea what you're like. But you could always ask the guys that leave you why they didn't call back. There's a slim chance that they will tell you the truth, but you might encounter someone who's honest enough to let you know. But again, this is just a suggestion, so you can take it with a grain of salt.
  • Aug 9, 2009, 12:38 PM
    J_9
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by stephaniecon View Post
    What is the girls role when it comes to meeting new guys. Steve Harvey says women must have standards and act lady like. I believe him because in ways being lady like shows confidence , but I also believe a woman should be herself even if it may not come across lady like. Ive been acting like myself I dont lie to sound better or more appealing to men which I am proud of. But I just dont understand why they dont ever stay long enough. They always seem the first to leave, I just dont get it. I'm not a peoples person or outgoing I just want to have my desired goals accomplished with a good man by my side. Let me see I'm sweet, nice, funny, spoiled and a little negative. I may in a way sometimes come off bossy but its just my way of showing people youre not listening. Guys usually see my picture and get excited to converse with me but after a while things die out. I dont want to bash my personality b/c I love it but I just dont know why people just stop, my family can't stand me either. How can I keep the men I first excite from leaving me later?

    What has been bolded are complete turnoffs. You are bossy to let people know they aren't listening?

    Also, you are listening to a comedian to see how women should act?

    You keep the men by not acting spoiled or bossy. Keep the negativity out of any conversation.
  • Aug 9, 2009, 12:45 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma

    I agree. We are all bossy, negative and spoiled sometimes. But that doesn't necessarily mean that's your personality. Bossiness, I think, is the biggest thing to drive men away. They don't want to date a woman that reminds them of their mother, and they don't want to be TOLD what to do, or ALLOWED to do anything.
  • Aug 9, 2009, 02:48 PM
    N0help4u

    I agree with the others. You sound like you are rather independent and your own person.
    Some guys just don't like that, they want a girl that they can tell what to do, when to do it and how to do it. You just need to find Mr. Right.
  • Aug 9, 2009, 04:16 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma

    There are tons of puzzle pieces you just have to find the one that fits. Patience is a virtue. Okay, I'll seriously stop with the cheesy quotes now. I've been trying to lecture a poster on why he shouldn't be dating a married woman all day. Anyway, I found the man that I am in love with when I wasn't looking. So, stop looking. Focus on what's important to you right now, and someone will pop up out of nowhere and be the surprise you've been waiting for.
  • Aug 9, 2009, 08:53 PM
    HelpinHere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by stephaniecon View Post
    Steve Harvey says women must have standards and act lady like.

    I completely DISAGREE with that suggestion you mentioned.
    Yes, you have to have standards. Everyone does.
    You do NOT have to act "lady like". In fact, you shouldn't. If you are just acting like a "lady" any guy who is interested in you won't want a partner, he'll want a girl who he can control. A stay at home mom is what I think of when I envision when I see a "lady like" girl. I want a girl who expresses herself how she wants, and has fun while doing it, not one who eats starting from the outer forks.

    Just my opinion.

    Everything else I have to say has already been said.
  • Aug 9, 2009, 09:15 PM
    Torrid13
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by HelpinHere View Post
    I completely DISAGREE with that suggestion you mentioned.
    Yes, you have to have standards. Everyone does.
    You do NOT have to act "lady like". In fact, you shouldn't. If you are just acting like a "lady" any guy who is interested in you won't want a partner, he'll want a girl who he can control. A stay at home mom is what I think of when I envision when I see a "lady like" girl. I want a girl who expresses herself how she wants, and has fun while doing it, not one who eats starting from the outer forks.

    Just my opinion.

    Everything else I have to say has already been said.

    I think the phrase "lady like" is used in terms of manners? I don't think there's anything wrong with having manners and being polite. I wouldn't want to date someone with no manners. Just my opinion, too, I guess.

    I'm really not sure where you're going with this.


    Anyway, OP, don't worry so much. Enjoy the relationships while you're in them and making memories, and know that in time, as another poster said, you'll find the right one who won't go away!
  • Aug 9, 2009, 09:25 PM
    HelpinHere

    Generally, it is Torrid. However, since we don't have an age, I judged off the way the OP typed, indicating late teens/early 20's to me.

    At that age, there aren't really any "fancy" dinner banquets to boast your manners. And if you just go around being "lady like" in every situation, then, in my opinion, it will make you seem like I already described.
  • Aug 10, 2009, 02:18 PM
    stephaniecon

    Thank you all I like everyone's input, I kind of agree with everyone! Thank you kind people.

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