I've noticed for a couple of months now that my wife has been pretty distant. She's not very close to me and our sex life isn't what it was and she blames it on gaining some weight and a stressful job. It seems as if we're just living to work. We're both very involved in our careers and make good money. Within the last year, I noticed that we've been working too much [at home] so I started to curb the workload. Instead, I tried to get close to her, but she always had her laptop up.
We met 12 years ago (my early 20s) in Dallas and now live in Houston. We have been married for 7 years. We have two beautiful kids 5 and 3. Within the last couple of days, I noticed she was spending a lot more time on her cell phone texting. So, I decided to install an application on her cell phone that emails me her texting conversations - say what you want, but it was all based on my suspicion.
My suspicion was dead on - she has been texting with a guy she used to work with. It's apparent they had a relationship in the past (probably 5 years ago) and had some falling out. He now lives in a different state (Michigan) and they have since rekindled their relationship.
Innocent texting has turned into, "I miss you", "I want to see you", "I need to have sex on a daily basis", "Do you want more kids". This is all from her - and I have it all documented.
Now, she's going on a business trip which happens to be in Michigan at the end of the month. I haven't confronted her because I'm trying to collect more information. It's hurting me so much because we have such a great life. The thought of our kids not having both their parents growing up repulses me.
I don't have any proof that she's slept with him, but I'm sure when she goes to Michigan, that she will. I want to work it out with her, but I'm afraid that if I approached her before the trip that she will claim, "She never had an affair or committed adultery".
I won't put up with my wife having extra marital affairs, but I DO NOT WANT TO BE A WEEKEND FATHER. My kids are my life.
In the mean time, I'm collecting data from their text messages (both his and hers) that is quite painful. The more the days go by, the worse the messages get.
What should I do??