I was in a relationship for 12 years and I messed it up big time and I cheated on him... Thinking that the grass was greener on the other side.. I told him about the affair that I had and I decided to move out and have fun.. I am also bi-polar and did not realize things that I was doing... He kept chasing me around town with the kids to come back and I said no... After 6 months I came to my senses realizing that he was the best thing that ever happened to me I wanted him back.. He was my soul mate, but now it turned around and he did not want me anymore... I kick myself in the everyday there is not one day that doesn't go by that I don't think about him and miss him so much I want it to be like before I had everything with him, house, my family everything I wanted.. I cry a lot and its been 6 years now since we separated but I don't seem to know how to get over him and move on... I need help on this one... I want him back so bad knowing that he has a girlfriend that he has been with since we split and he says that he hates me so bad... We both have a lot of anger and jealousy... and its sad it's the kids that suffer the most...


Does someone have answers for me please HELP!!

First of all, you are the one who decided to cheat on him after 12 years. Can you really blame him from moving on. Question is why have you not moved on. It is over, it is done. There is not any way of turning back time and everybody made their decisions. I know this may be hard but there needs to be forgiveness. Not just him forgiving you but you need to be able to forgive yourself for the things that you have done. As long as you hold onto the guilt and the turmoil you are creating your own hell on earth and you will never be able to move on and actually start living your life again. So you need to look at the past as the past. Decisions that were made whether they are right or wrong, were made and now you have learned from that experience and now you need to forgive yourself and look forward to the future. Volunteer, work, hobbies. Things that will keep you busy. As well as, you said that your ex-husband has been with this girl since the breakup, my question to you is how did he get this girl so quickly. Might he have been doing the same thing to you? Without you knowing it? The reason why I say ex- husband is you were common law and that is considered marriage. Just a question, none of that really matters right now. The thing you need to do is forgive yourself for your mistakes and once you are able to do that then you will be able to let go of the past. You can always be able to remember the past but never live in the past or your life will waist away.

Joe