Good morning everyone, my name is Alexie and I had a very important question to ask. I am obviously a Lesbian women LEGALLY MARRIED (IN IOWA) to my wife Carmen. Name change and everything. We have been together for over 4 years and are raising 3 beautiful kids together. I have 2 biological and she has 1. My 2 have an everyday relationship with their dad, we actually have shared custody. My wife, has a son, by Insemination, therefore, the dad is not in her sons life, never has been, never will be, her son is going to be 8 in November. I want to adopt him as my own. How can a same sex married couple go about adopting. Can somebody please help me. Need to know the procedures to get this done right away.

Thank you very much!! :)

ALL private adoptions start with contacting a lawyer.

Do-it-yourself adoption is NEVER recommended--there are just too many details that HAVE to be right.

I'd contact your family law attorney, explain what you would like to do, and follow his/her instructions.

some states don't allow adoption by gay couples. Other states have guidelines that must be followed and hoops to jump through. Like synnen said, talk to a lawyer first to find out what you need to do.

on a side note: many many congratulations on your marriage ^_^

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Originally Posted by hheath541

some states don't allow adoption by gay couples. other states have guidelines that must be followed and hoops to jump through. like synnen said, talk to a lawyer first to find out what you need to do.

on a side note: many many congratulations on your marriage ^_^

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The only state that I know of (not 100%) that specifically bans adoption by same sex couples is Florida. Most others specify "legally married for X period". Since a marriage that is legal in one state by law must be accepted by all others, it should be legal.

But like others have said - adoption isn't a DIY process... hire a lawyer and have at it.

Best of luck!

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Originally Posted by stevetcg

The only state that I know of (not 100%) that specifically bans adoption by same sex couples is Florida. Most others specify "legally married for X period". Since a marriage that is legal in one state by law must be accepted by all others, it should be legal.

But like others have said - adoption isnt a DIY process... hire a lawyer and have at it.

Best of luck!

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Ohio passed a law a few years ago banning gay couples from adopting, or even fostering, children. Under that law even naturally born children can be taken by the state simply because of sexual orientation.

Marriage is also a state-by-state thing. A state does not have to recognize marriages performed in other states if the person who performed them is not ordained in that state. Ohio is one of the states that chooses not to recognize same-sex marriages, even if they were performed in a state where same-sex marriages are legal.

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Originally Posted by hheath541

ohio passed a law a few years ago banning gay couples from adopting, or even fostering, children. under that law even naturally born children can be taken by the state simply because of sexual orientation.

marriage is also a state-by-state thing. a state does not have to recognize marriages performed in other states if the person who performed them is not ordained in that state. ohio is one of the states that chooses not to recognize same-sex marriages, even if they were performed in a state where same-sex marriages are legal.

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I suspect that Ohio is in for some law changes in the near future since that is unconstitutional.

If someone gets LEGALLY married in another state, the US Constitution says that all states must recognize it. This isn't a choice they get to make. Its federal law.

Edit: fixed plurality.

Edit: I am wrong.

In doing some further research, this federal law only applies to federally accepted laws. Since gay marriage is not federally recognized under the Defense of Marriage Act, it is, in fact, a state level issue.

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Originally Posted by stevetcg

In doing some further research, this federal law only applies to federally accepted laws. Since gay marriage is not federally recognized under the Defense of Marriage Act, it is, in fact, a state level issue.

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Marriage is also a state issue if the person presiding over the marriage is only licensed to marry people in certain states. States do not have to recognize a marriage performed by someone not licensed in their state, just like a marriage performed in one state by someone licensed in another state is not legal. There are a lot of odd ins and outs of marriage.

Edit: while states do not HAVE to recognize marriages performed in other states, they almost always do. Is it usually cases like same-sex marriage and when someone is looking for a loophole for whatever reason that it becomes an issue. Even then they have to find a court willing to exploit the loophole, which is difficult.