I am quite successful at my age, female, early 20s, Senior System engineer, very hardworking... however I keep thinking how I can become more successful and climb the corporate ladder faster on a daily basis.


I do have a quite balanced life, work, gym, friends etc. During day time at work, I am totally energetic, happy, and positive. But every night, when I am alone, I think so much about the decisions I've made during the day, the project I am working on... etc.

Is that normal, or there is something I can do to relax, not thinking about work after work?:confused:

It certainly takes a concerted effort to do so.I can't think of any job I ever had that I did not bring home with me.Some jobs I felt married to.

I think the only thing you can do is try to stop those rambling thoughts when they arise.

Try to find a hobby that is truly engrossing,that allows no mental deviation elsewhere.

I find artwork to be very relaxing,creative and compelling.Hours elapse and I don't even realize it.

Art may not be your thing so I would say anything that challenges you but is still rewarding and relaxing.

Yes, I am pretty much married to my job.
:)

I really like to go clubbing, but I don't have any friends that like to. Then I can't go club every night as well, that's the only time I don't think about work.

When I go swimming, or work out in the gym it helps too. I guess I will go there more often.

Are you someone that is into crafts? I just took up shrinky dinks... It's this paper that you color a picture on and then bake it for 15 seconds and it turns into a hard plastic. I've been making necklaces, earrings, and keychains. Seriously engrossing. You start thinking of new things to make, or get inspired by blogs about it. I'm addicted. Picking up a hobby is a great idea.

I have always been a "practical" person, I often think making craft is a waste of time, but I need someone that changes my mind of thinking this way. Thank you ladies.

Sometimes I just need another voice, instead of always doing the goal oriented/career related things.

:)

There is nothing wrong with being goal oriented but you have to have some down time.

When you get ideas about a project that is weighing on you,jot them down and then try to separate yourself after that.

A psychologist gave me a behavioral modification technique years ago and you are to mentally shout *NO* when an unwanted thought pops in your head.

You may have to do this every couple of minutes in the beginning but it does get easier as time passes.After a week,it's a piece of cake to turn off those unwanted intrusions.

I have to say, it sounds like you have a very balanced lifestyle already. Working hard. Party. See friends. Work-out.

The only thing I would like to add is, have you considered having a significant other? Not so much the lonely factor, but more for companionship and someone to share your thoughts with. If you already have great friends that provide this for you, then "great" and you can disregard my idea.

Otherwise, being ambitious is great, but as long as you are happy. As long as you feel like you are accomplishing things and able to sleep at night. Don't let the stress of climbing the corporate later keep you from falling asleep at night. That's probably the most important part.

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Originally Posted by I wish

I have to say, it sounds like you have a very balanced lifestyle already. Working hard. Party. See friends. Work-out.

The only thing I would like to add is, have you considered having a significant other? Not so much the lonely factor, but more for companionship and someone to share your thoughts with. If you already have great friends that provide this for you, then "great" and you can disregard my idea.

Otherwise, being ambitious is great, but as long as you are happy. As long as you feel like you are accomplishing things and able to sleep at night. Don't let the stress of climbing the corporate later keep you from falling asleep at night. That's probably the most important part.

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On the other hand, I am quite laid back when it comes to dating. Not in a rush meeting a man, once in a while I do get confused about men's signals, but let it go rather quick. Lol

I really don't like to invest lots of time on guys, not that I don't like them;) but just not in the right place and right time to do so.

Have you considered meditation?

It can take some practice, and there are many different techniques, but essentially it's about being still, observing your thoughts without judgment and letting them go.

It sounds to me like you're ambitious and this drive is making your mind and ego work overtime. Your ego is strongly engaged in the idea of doing well and climbing the corporate ladder. This is not a bad thing, but in your case it sounds as if your ego has a stranglehold on your thoughts.

I would suggest that you need to try to separate your desire for success from yourself. You are already aware that your thoughts are the problem so this is a good start. You can buy CD's that take you through the mediation process, and you could listen to them in the evening whilst you're at home.

It does take a little practice, but once you get the hang of it, you can observe your thoughts and let them go in ANY situation. They are just thoughts after all, they are not you.

I don't think that there's anything wrong with wanting to be successful. As long as you don't compromise your ethics, morals, or sell your very soul to get there. Most of us strive for excellence in some aspect of our lives. Mine was my career, until I got married,and had kids. Now THEY are MY guiding light. I still maintain quality and integrity at my job, but not with the tenacity I had before . I save the best for my home life. I don't want to look back in regret 20 years from now.

Is it power? Money? Ask yourself why.

Most importantly, don't burn yourself out. Turn the lights off, light a candle, stare at the flame, empty your thoughts...

Strive for excellence it is! I am not full of myself but I have always been the top in school and work. Once you are used to it, you can't stop going forward.

I can be laid back as well, but not with professional development!

Thanks for the words everyone, I need it! :)