So all my friends and whatnot have always given me compliments. I know they are great to hear and everything but I don't know why I never believe its not true. Like I will tell someone I am fat or not pretty and they will tell me that I am not fat and that I am beautiful and that I have a great life filled with great people there for me and a smart girl. I have the worst luck so I don't believe anything for me is good. They say that all the time but why do I think none of that is true cause I have bad luck??

Why do you put yourself down so much?

Are you overweight? Check your BMI online:BMI calculator then go here Understanding Your Weight and Percent of Body Fat [Women]

Are you ugly? Are you comparing yourself to women on the covers of magazines? What is your idea of "beauty"?

If you don't love yourself-- or at the very least like yourself you'll never be happy, in fact your making your own "bad luck".

Sarah

Well my friends say that I am normal sized and I know that I am losing weight really fast that I could be like a twig soon. And I really don't know if I am ugly cause I think there a lot of better looking girls out there that guys would rather date and I think I have the worst luck because something bad always happens to me. Like one of them is when my ex boyfriend kept getting back with me then dumping me.

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Originally Posted by Jordan Christin

Well my friends say that I am normal sized and I know that I am losing weight really fast that I could be like a twig soon.

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What are you doing? Are you eating properly and exercising OR are you starving yourself?
What are you doing to lose weight?

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And I really don't know if I am ugly cause I think there a lot of better looking girls out there that guys would rather date

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Well of course they'll want to date another girl look at that attitude. Guys aren't attracted to just boobs and a tight body you know-- they love confidence! You don't have to be a supermodel- not all guys are into that- they'd rather have a girl that is comfortable in her own skin, and doesn't sit there and put herself down.

You could be as beautiful as can be, but with a mopey attitude like that will send a guy packing.

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and I think I have the worst luck because something bad always happens to me. Like one of them is when my ex boyfriend kept getting back with me then dumping me.

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Darlin' that's not bad luck- that's a bad relationship. I can see why you feel the way you feel. Bad relationships are poison. The more you involve yourself with it the more toxic you become- not only to yourself, but to others as well. My advice to you is to leave this boy for good.

Good riddance to bad rubbish;)



You really need to work on yourself esteem. No one is going to want to stick around if you keep up with this. Not only will you end up lonely, but you'll end up with someone that you really don't like- yourself.

Learn to love yourself. Learn more about yourself. Think positive and you'll get positive results.

Get involved with things! Chances are you are bored. Get a job, volunteer at a nursing home, animal shelter, if you are able be a big sister to a little girl in need [See here], organize a can food drive.. read some self-help books OR even go online and read them. AskMeHelpDesk is another great way to vent out your frustrations- we'll support you here :)

Sarah

Well how should I learn to love myself?

It's hard to really pin point or make steps-- but I'll give it a shot.

First, you have to focus on yourself. I'm not saying be selfish or to become a hobbit and live in your room. I'm saying be single. FORGET about relationships. YOU can't be good for anybody if you can't find the good in you.

You NEED to be positive. Even if it's fake positive- keep telling yourself that today is going to be a great day. Keep telling yourself that you are one smart, pretty girl. Keep telling yourself that your going to do great in school. Be positive.

AIM for accomplishments NOT perfection. In short, if your doing a project for school, try, put effort into it- be proud of it. Don't expect an A+ or 100% and don't make yourself crazy over it. Do your best.

MISTAKES are part of LEARNING. Don't start calling yourself stupid for a mistake. It's GOOD to make mistakes- that way you learn! Repeating mistakes however is NOT learning. LEARN from your mistakes.

TRY.TRY.TRY. Try new things. Try new foods- go online and get some easy recipes and surprise your family. Try to skateboard. TRY new things. Except drugs or alcohol [since your underaged] or having unprotected sex-- these things can get you into trouble.

REALIZE what you CAN change and what you CAN'T. If your 5'2" realize that you may not grow to be 5'11". If your hair is frizzy and out of control realize you CAN change it by learning how to style it correctly or even testing out hair products and home made remedies.

GET A VOICE! If you have an opinion say it- don't be another camel in the crowd!

EXERCISE. Jogging. Going to the school's gym. Getting involved in a team sport. Doing pilates. Aerobics. All these things and MORE actually make you happy. Endorphins are released, and those little guys will turn that frown upside down.

VOLUNTEER. Helping others is a sure fire way to help you gain self confidence. Here is a list:

•Homeless Shelters
•Food Banks
•Habitat for Humanities
•State Parks
•City Programs
•Helping Others Learn to Read
•Hospitals
•Libraries
•Senior Citizens Centers
•Animal Shelters
•United Way
•Red Cross
•Salvation Army
•Environmental Organizations
•Political Campaigns
•1-800 Number Volunteer
... and many many more places!

If you still feel the same after helping others, improving your own life, making goals for yourself-- then I suggest speaking to a guidance counselor, a school therapist, your doctor or even a psychologist about this- it could be that you need professional help.

You CAN do it.

I'm here for support.

Sarah

Thanks so much and I will try it I might give it a couple of weeks but I will and thanks so much for taking your time to answer this I really glad you and I owe you big time.

No you owe it to yourself.

Be happy. Stay positive.

Sarah

Will do then but if you need anything just ask and in a couple of weeks I will let you know how I am doing

Yes, I agree completely with Muddy.

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Originally Posted by Jordan Christin

Thanks so much and i will try it i might give it a couple of weeks but i will and thanks so much for taking your time to answer this i really glad you and i owe you big time.

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Honey, don't just try it for a couple of weeks. You need to love yourself for your whole life, or you will never be able to get around these small problems.

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Originally Posted by Jordan Christin

Will do then but if you need anything just ask and in a couple of weeks i will let you know how i am doing

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I hope you do. Too many people don't update, and leave us wondering.


Anyway, sorry to be tardy to the party. I'll still say what I thought after reading the first post:
It sounds like you are too self conscious, and your friends are trying to cheer you up. Good friends, you got yourself. Now, you just need to learn to believe about yourself what your friends tell you.

Then, I read the other posts, and it just makes that seem more likely.
I STRONGLY recommend you follow Muddy's advice.

Good Luck!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm sure your friends wouldn't lie to you about all your good qualities. Having bad luck could mean you're a clutz or a spaz or just pron to misfortune or accidents- but tha doesn't make you less beautifl and smart. Just believe in yourself.

O I see thanks I kind of needed that

Hey just letting anyone know that I am doing great!! I am living my life to the best I can and I love myself!!

That's great to hear!
Keep it up. I think I speak for everyone when I say I am glad you are doing well!

Because you're a teenager and teenagers are shallow, admit it
We all think we're ugly and fat and no one will love us and our lives are aweful
Well, maybe your life is aweful, is it anything compared to my girlfreind, she was raped and sexually abused by her uncle when she was 9, her mom ignores her and really only keeps her so she can do the parenting of her 5 sisters, maybe her life isn't that bad, but I used to complain about my life all the time until I met her
We care too much about what others think, we're flawed, maybe you are fat and ugly, but shouldn't you just believe the ones you love who tell you your not, they wouldn't lie to you

Bad luck has nothing to do with your looks.

Why did you feel you have bad luck?

What all of a sudden turned your life around?

Thanks for the comments guy and I really do believe in all you guys said. I felt like I had bad luck because of everything happening to me all at once. And what changed me was the comments some people they points they made and how I saw and lived in that point off view.