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-   -   Will she give me an other chance? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=383540)

  • Aug 4, 2009, 07:12 PM
    Drew79
    Will she give me an other chance?
    I was with my ex girlfriend for a year. We were great together and she often told me that I was the best boyfriend she ever had. Everything was great. We made sure we always took at least one day out of the week to go out and spend the day together. A month ago, she asked me to come over and to make a long story short, she broke up with me. She said she needed to work some personal things out. She also said that I needed to work on some things myself. I guess toward the end, I would get jealous when she went out with her friends. I would usually send her a mean text every night she went out. I always regreted it the next day.
    About 2 weeks after the breakup, we began talking again. She would call on her way to work and before she went to bed. It felt great. A week ago, she called and asked me if I would go on a walk with her. We talked about things we needed to improve for when we get back together and even talked about getting married one day.
    Four days ago, my friends through me a birthday party and I got drunk. I sent her a text at 3 in the morning. I told her not to call me again and that I didn't trust her. I didn't mean any of it and I still don't know why I did it. For the past four days, I've texted her to try and appologize but she would not respond. Today I sent her a text asking if we could meet that evening to talk. She finally replied and said she wasn't ready to talk yet and needed time to think about things. I told her I understand and left it at that. I have felt terrible over the past 4 days for sending her that text. I hope she will let me talk and explain. She means the world to me and I have been working very hard over the past month to improve myself. I even decided to stop drinking. I guess I just slipped up that one night and it was a big one. Any oppinions or suggestions? What should I do while she thinks about things. We do work at the same place and see each other almost every day. Thanks
  • Aug 4, 2009, 07:18 PM
    Triysle

    Funny thing about alcohol - it doesn't make any feelings just appear, it simply removes the inhibitions that prevent you from expressing them.

    I think you should focus more on why you felt the way you did, instead of trying to win her back. You need to acknowledge that some part of you did feel that way, because you wouldn't just suddenly say those things regardless of how sober or drunk you might have been.

    If you want to have another chance with her, you need to focus more on yourself and your own issues. Once you identify and resolve them, then you can worry about mending the rift between the two of you.

    Best of luck,

    ~ Tee
  • Aug 4, 2009, 08:19 PM
    paxe

    You need some time alone to take care of yourself. You make these changes for yourself not for her. It seems you have some issues and you need to work on them. A break up might be a good thing for you in order to get some perspective. It's going to be her decision to take you back or not.
  • Aug 5, 2009, 03:52 PM
    talaniman

    Do you really think she wants to be tied to a belligerent drunk? Always worrying about what you'll do after the next party?/ New years? Just out with the boys?

    Your paying the consequences of your bad behavior and a word to the wise is deal with your issue, as it gets worse if you don't.

    While she thinks about it, leave her alone, and get sober forever.

    Even if she doesn't want you any more, you won't make that dumba$$ mistake, again.
  • Aug 5, 2009, 03:56 PM
    Torrid13

    You blew it by being irresponsible.

    She might have been on her way back to trying to work it out with you, but you confirmed the reason she broke up with you.

    You're mean & don't think before you act! Selfish is a good word.

    Get sober & STAY sober & work on your issues. Worrying about finding love once you've worked on those things.
  • Aug 5, 2009, 04:48 PM
    Romefalls19

    Maybe you should try putting the bottle down and stop acting like an arse.

    You can't handle your alcohol and then use it as an excuse to say things to your ex. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn't want to talk to you either, because she wasn't around when you were drunk so you say hurtful things, what would have happened if she was there?
  • Aug 5, 2009, 06:11 PM
    Gemini54
    Sorry but you sound like a jerk.

    Quote:

    She also said that I needed to work on some things myself. I guess toward the end, I would get jealous when she went out with her friends. I would usually send her a mean text every night she went out. I always regretted it the next day.
    You 'usually regretted it '- how noble of you.

    Quote:

    I sent her a text at 3 in the morning. I told her not to call me again and that I didn't trust her. I didn't mean any of it and I still don't know why I did it.
    This girl 'means the world to you'? I don't think you understand the meaning of that phrase at all.

    You're an idiot. You've been 'slipping up' for a long time - so don't make excuses about how you only slipped up that one time.

    You need to do some serious self reflection about your appalling, insensitive behavior. Why do you behave in such a mean spirited and nasty way? It's ugly and you will only continue to make people's live miserable if you continue like this.

    I doubt you'll get her back because you've got a lot of growing up to do. It's going to take more than a month, I suspect!
  • Aug 5, 2009, 06:26 PM
    cjeep23
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Triysle View Post
    Funny thing about alcohol - it doesn't make any feelings just appear, it simply removes the inhibitions that prevent you from expressing them.
    ~ Tee

    I agree
    "A drunk persons words are a sober persons thoughts."
    -Anonymous
  • Aug 6, 2009, 06:32 AM
    sweet1028

    Being drunk takes away the worries of what people will say or feel if you say what you truly feel inside. Even if you would never admit it sober.

    You even said yourself that you sent her mean texts when she went out with her friends. You don't trust her and maybe you two should be apart. You can't have a relationship without trust.

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