Relapse.Embarresed about how I acted last night
Hi there
Last night, I had a few drinks, and Ive had a relapse after two years of being better. My ex girlfriend had cheated on me, I was starting to fall for her. Which is hard for me, as I never let anyone get too close to me any more, but I did this time, and it hurts.
I ended up trying to throw myself off my window ledge, called nhs direct, spoke to them, and all I can remember is having to get the security guard from downstairs, and being restrained from hitting my head on the wall.
They called an ambulance, and I have just made such a prick of myself. I feel so weak, helpless and just useless. All I want to do is apologize for wasting their time...
I know I need help, but I don't want to go back on the pills, I hate the thought that I need something to control my thoughts...
I have an appointment with the doctor this evening, but it's a new doctor as my old one left, so I don't know how I'm going to talk to him about this, it will probably bottle itself back up as soon as I walk in there...