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-   -   Choosing the bridesmaids (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=382993)

  • Aug 3, 2009, 12:07 PM
    pleasehelp88
    Choosing the bridesmaids
    I am having a difficult time choosing my bridesmaids so I'm looking for some advice. My fiancé and I decided to have 4 attendants on each side. (I know now days it is common to have uneven numbers but I don't think that will look right for our wedding.) I have chosen my close cousin to be my MOH and another cousin to be a bridesmaid. I have also asked a high school friend, who lives out of state, to be a bridesmaid as well. One of my questions is, is it OK to ask this friend who lives out of state? I've had people ask why I chose her when we never see each other. We talk and email each other so I still feel close with her. Is it wrong that I asked her? My second question is, I have 4 other friends that I am trying to choose from to be the 4th attendant. I believe that if I pick 1 of the 3 there will be hard feelings, so I am thinking about choosing the 4th friend even though we aren't as close.. Should you only choose your close, best friends or is it OK to chose someone you are not as close to but that you feel will be supportive on your big day? Thanks for reading, sorry its so long!:confused:
  • Aug 3, 2009, 12:17 PM
    88sunflower
    I had 2 girls come from out of state and it worked out wonderfully. If they are able and willing it's a wonderful way to share your special day. I wouldn't let location be an issue at all.
    As far as the other four girls and only one opening I would pick wisely. Its your day. Take a look at each girl and pick who will be most supportive to you, who can afford the expenses and who will be there willingly and happily for you. Some girls can be a drag at these times and be spiteful. Especially if they aren't married yet and jealousy comes out.
  • Aug 3, 2009, 07:17 PM
    dontknownuthin

    I feel that bridesmaids should be chosen based on how emotionally close you feel to them, not geographically. Just be respectful of the expenses for her and be understanding if she cannot afford to participate. When I married, one bridesmaid flew in from New York, one from Switzerland, one in Germany and another from California... my friends and family just happened to have pretty adventurous, international lives at the time. The ones from other countries were siblings and I knew they were coming... I paid for their dresses to offset the costs. I sent all the girls dresses to them so they could have them altered in their own towns, and did some special things for them when they came in so they felt at home (gift baskets in their hotel rooms - provided a hairdresser, arranged rides to and from the airport and so on).
  • Aug 5, 2009, 12:54 PM
    pleasehelp88

    Thank you both for your great advice! I feel once I get past this part the rest will be exciting. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or be judged for my choice. I will definitely chose the one who will be happy for the honor and will be there for support. The two I feel would be the most supportive are the ones I'm not as close with or I should say would not be the obvious choice. That's why I asked if it is normal not to only chose your close friends. Thanks again!

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