Me and my boyfriend, ryan, have been going out for a year and a couple of months... about a month ago I found a text in his phone from this girl called 'sexy alicia' saying "my lunch is at 1:30, is that ok with you?" (I looked through his phone cause he kept hiding it thinking it was a big joke)... I asked him about it and he said that nothing was going to happen with that girl and he didn't like her... so a week before my birthday I was looking through his phone again (same reason) and I found a text TO the 'sexy alicia' girl saying "i want to *uck you till you scream" blah blah you get the idea:mad:.. I confronted him about this (with some yelling and screaming) and he said that he had kissed her on the lips during a game of spin the bottle at a party that I didn't go to, he also said that she started texting him so he just texted back and didn't mean any of it and that he was going to tell me but after my birthday cause he didn't want to wreck it... so.. we had a big fight and are now back together but I constantly want to go through his phone and I'm worried that he's going to do it again and do more than just a kiss... so am I being paranoid? What would you do?:confused:

It's pretty obvious that neither of you trust the other.

He has conversations with other girls, and you break into his cell phone conversations.

Have the two of you ever sat down and just talked honestly about how you feel about the behaviours each of you do?

If you don't work hard to figure out how to trust each other, the relationship isn't likely to be anything other than superficial.

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Originally Posted by Jake2008

It's pretty obvious that neither of you trust the other.

He has conversations with other girls, and you break into his cell phone conversations.

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I have to disagree. He's hiding the phone because he knows he'll get into trouble. It's not that he doesn't trust her, it's that he is paranoid, and doesn't want to get caught.

It sounds to me like he is already cheating. Spin the bottle, in my opinion, isn't cheating, as it's not serious (unless you take it too far, a small kiss is fine).

I think that he is hiding his phone from you so he doesn't get busted. The fact that you confronted him about the first time, and he said "nothing is going to happen", but then he kissed her, shows he's a liar. Just because it's not cheating (if it WAS spin the bottle) doesn't mean it's "nothing" so he lied to you there.
Also, by confronting him, you showed him that you disapprove of this behaivor.

Then, it gets worse?
This is what I think. He's playing you. He's lying to you, and hopes you won't bust him.
Guess what? You just did. Time to confront him about. Don't yell, but demand an honest answer. When he continues to lie, or admits cheating, it is your call to break up or try to work it out from there.

[QUOTE=HelpinHere;1896830]
It sounds to me like he is already cheating. Spin the bottle, in my opinion, isn't cheating, as it's not serious (unless you take it too far, a small kiss is fine).
QUOTE]

Nah to me the spin the bottle bit was cheating, as I wasn't there, I didn't know about it, I've never met this 'sexy alicia' and he knew what he was doing when he sat in that circle. Small kiss or not, he hid the fact so he obviously knew it was wrong.

But thank you for your advice :) ill see how it goes in the next couple of weeks but if I can't stand being paranoid about his every move then I spose it'll be time to end it hey?

Dump that a$$hole. If he can't appreciate you and just you then you deserve way better. He shouldn't even be playing spin the bottle!! Wats wrong with him!

Look, if you have to be going through his phone, it just shows how foolish the relationship is. You should be able to trust him just as he should be able to trust you. If he hides his phone, it's because he is hiding other things and the only reason he admitted anything to you was because you went through his phone. What else could he be hiding? I would say a lot more. There is no trust in your relationship, there is also no strong foundation in it. Trust is one of the most important things to a relationship. If he is even checking out other girls, he will always be tempted to cheat, and given the right amount of time, he will find a way to do it and keep it from you. I would say "once a cheater, always a cheater". I'm not sure exactly how old you guys are, but if there is a third person, then it most likely is not real. I would advise you to not take him serious on any level, if you do plan to stay with him because you will get really hurt. Otherwise, if you decide to do the right thing, break up with him and stay away from him. Don't let anyone step over you as you will get used to it. Don't always follow your heart, but what is reasonable.

What would I do? I'd dump his a$$ like a hot potato and run the other way just as fast as my legs could carry me, that's what I'd do!

I would leave him. He obviously does not feel sorry about it because if he did then he wouldn't continue talking to this girl, and he would have told you about his cheating right away. He also saved her name as "sexy alicia", so he has an interest in this girl, regardless of what he says. He is most likely to do something like this again, especially if you let him get away with it this time.

Simple.

No trust = no relationship

If he can't repair the trust that he broke, then there's no reason for you to continue to suffer. Make it a clean break.

I have a lovely song for that... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUxfi...eature=related

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MAKE IT EASY ON ME (Sybil/ Steps)

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Don't keep me dreaming
If all the hope is gone
If it's all over
Don't keep me hanging on

I can't stay
And dream my life away
In some kind of wonderland
Better to hurt me honestly
Than make a fool of me
My heart will understand

Make it easy on me
Just walk away, set me free
Don't try to do it gently
Just to please me
Make it easy, easy on me

If it's the time to go
If it's the last goodbye
Never turn around
Don't want you to see me cry

Don't make me stay
And wish my time away
In some fool's paradise
Don't give any hope to me
Spin any lines for me
Make the truth plain to see

Make it easy on me
Just walk away, set me free
Don't try to do it gently
Just to please me
Make it easy, easy on me

Better to hurt me honestly
Than make a fool of me
My heart will understand

Make it easy on me
(Easy on me)
Just walk away
Don't try to do it gently
Just to please me
Make it easy, easy on me
Easy on me Make it easy on me
Just walk away, set me free
Don't try to do it gently
Just to please me
Make it easy, easy on me

Just walk away
Don't try to do it gently
Just to please me
Make it easy, easy on me

This has got to be either a troll or a weird coincidence since her boyfriend wrote about this event a few days ago.. You have to wonder... do we have a troll?

Funny thing is "she" is using his account

If this really is his girlfriend she needs her own account since it is in the rules of this site!

I have my own account! I wrote this thing first... he started an account the other day to 'apologise' to me

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Originally Posted by crazy-mambo

i have my own account!! i wrote this thing first... he started an account the other day to 'apologise' to me

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Nope 1 account and he posted first!

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Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

nope 1 account and he posted first!

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Pretty sure this is my account and he only just started one... are you sure you don't need to go see an optometrist?
Why do you care anyway? Do you just sit on the computer all day and pretend that you have all the answers?

My situation: he cheated, cried said it was a kiss and just a little talking on the internet. Turns out he took her virginity, seen her 3 days a week while he was in college, and went out with her when he was supposed to be camping with his dad.

You have major signs here. Tell this loser to kiss your , that you can do better. You don't deserve this crap, no one does.

Good Luck!

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Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

nope 1 account and he posted first!

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You don't understand, he came here because he KNEW she would be looking for answers here. He is using us to help him apologize. She has been a member since 2006, him, the other day, when he got caught. HE is the one, he is the sneaky one.

She has been cheated on, she needs answers. Give her the help, and him the finger.