Hello I have a question my ex is with this woman they have 2 little boys together they also have my ex's name he is wanting to leave this woman but he wants joint custody is it true that since they never been into court and that they do live together that they already have joint custody?

If he leaves her then he has to go to court and file for joint custody to protect his rights. Too often people will work out an agreement between themselves and don't have the court order. Then the mother skips sending them for visits and starts pulling all kinds of things. Then the dad finally takes it to court a year or so later and the Judge looks at it like 'well you haven't bothered seeing your kids in 7 months and you never attempted to get custody orders before this'. So they look at it like dad was a dead beat.
So its best to go as soon as they are broke up and get court ordered orders.