Im 23 going on 24yrs old. My boyfriend just turned 28 2 days ago. We have been togethrer going on 8 years in Oct. When we first started it was great. We were having too much sex now this past year he is holding back. I have to beg for it, he no longer has the passion that he used to show like he is doing me a big favor. He tells me sex is not the most important thing he's the one who got me hooked then takes it all away. I try to talk about it but he just gets angry and upset and says that he is still attracted to me and loves and in love with me so why did he stop making love to me then this is a complicated situation so bad I want to leave but love him too much but I can't live with out it much longer so what do I do? He is my first and only love been with him since 16 and he taught me all I know and made me sex crazy then stopped. I can't even imagine being with another man and this had got to the point well where I have pretty much drove myself crazy wondering what his deal is someone please help

They say that guys are in their prime for wanting sex when they are younger and then women are when they are older.
You say you were too much before so could it be that you are just at average normal amount now and you just feel it isn't much because you are use to more?
Guys don't like talking about things like that.
If he really has gone to about zero then maybe he needs a doctors visit.

Is it possible the 'spice' is gone? Could you possibly try something new and kinky? Try roleplaying. Pretend to be anyone you want (my favorite is pretending I'm getting ready to go to sleep and a stranger *my husband* comes in and starts suducing me... but that's just me ;) )

Get some toys and a sexy outfit perhapes? Or take a shower together.

Or even go away on a vacation together. Go to a wine tasting event and then go to a hotel room with some more wine (or beer/liquir, which ever you like) and just hang out and have fun. And see where it leads to?

Good luck hon. And like nohelp said, its also possible he may need to see a doctor. Or perhapes you can both see a sex therepist.

Yes HH is right, its possible to have too much sex. From what I hear sex takes a lot more out of a man than it does a woman. Its one of the reasons women can have several orgasms in one 'go' and men usually (not all, but all the guys I know at least) need a rest period before going again. IF they can even go again at all without falling asleep ;)

He may have decided that after 8 years of dating... that the relationship isn't really going anywhere. THe spark is gone... and maybe he has fallen out of love with you.

Or there can be a medical condition, and yes young guys can get them. Has he had a physical recently and a full blood workup. Just to be certain its not medical in nature as untreated some of those can be dangerous.

I think that what he is telling you is true. That there is more to a relationship than just sex. You it's easy for people to confuse love and sex. I'm sure he still loves you and want's to be with you, but maybe he's grown up a bit. If you're really having issues with it I suggest maybe getting some toys to help you out.

What I will tell you (and I'm not saying that you have considered this or anything) is that you definitely SHOULD NOT go to another man for sex. It could be devastating to your relationship and in the long run, it's not worth it at all.

Just trust that he loves you, You care about him a lot, try to think of it this way, Although it is difficult for you, you have to be there for him emotionally. Guys need it just as much as girls do (emotional support) maybe if you try to be understanding, get some toys and don't push him for it, he'll take it as a sign that you are considering his feelings and will start coming to you again, or more frequently, whichever the case may be.

I hope I've helped a bit. Good luck!

My math says that you were 15 when you started dating him, and he was 20. You were probably very inexperienced with sex, and all you know about it is based around this one man for 8 years.

In a long term relationship you have to expect that the bunny rabbit stage as I call it, will only last so long. Pretty soon that initial euphoria and frequent sex boils down to a more realistic level.

If you want sex so bad that you are willing to leave him, it doesn't sound to me like you are balancing the whole relationship.

Maybe you have made this such a huge issue that he's turned off sex because you can never be pleased.

Try backing off, and work toward being less judgmental of him sexually, and more accepting of him as a person, and the relationship itself.

You need to talk more with him, and you need to really find out what's going on with him, by listening more.

Try not to be blinded by your needs at the expense of his.

Relationships are based on far more than sex. Sex is a nice thing, but only a part of a relationship, and expecting it to remain at frequent levels is just not realistic for most.

You pressuring him, and putting so much emphasis on sex is not going to make for a good performance. Your expectations at the moment are putting a strain on him because you are making this into a huge issue.

Are there some missing posts? This thread was started and last posted in (until today) in August 2009.

Closed.