Hi everyone,

My boyfriend and I once discussed about blowjobs. I asked him his view on the same, to which he replied that he likes it and doesn't mind doing it so long as both spouses are OK with it. So I once did a blowjob on him and later he reciprocated.it only lasted 10seconds. I didn't think much of it at the time.

Several months later, though I continuously gave him a blowjob, he never reciprocated and it started bothering me. Did I smell that first time. I don't think so though, because I usually shower before if sex is planned earlier and I don't have any hygiene condition.so I stopped giving him a blowjob. But it didn't last long because, am very adventurous and like satisfying my man.

So recently I did a blowjob on him, and I thought he was reciprocating because he was going down there. You know what he did? He used his chin beard to rub on me. It made me feel filthy and definitely not satisfied.

So later I asked him once more whether he is comfortable with doing blowjob. He said yes and I asked him why he never does it, and why he used his beard instead. He told me that he thought I was not comfortable with it. How can that be yet I have told him before that I am OK with it and don't mind at all? He asked isn't using a beard same as blowjob. I got mad and told him to tell me the truth, if he is not comfortable with it. I wanted to understand him, if he is not comfortable, at least I know and we can find other ways of pleasing. He said he is OK with it. In fact, he said he will do iit next time.

I feel that he only said that because I asked. My problem is not that he is not doing it, is why he is not honest that he is uncomfortable, when its so clear.

I haven't seen him for a week since then and I feel I don't want to have sex with him.

What could be his problem for not doing a blowjob?

When a woman gives head it is a blow job ,when a man gives head it it called eating out or cunnilingus.
I am just assuming your partner is the opposite sex.

Just like some women do not like to give head ,some men don't like to go down on a woman.

They may not like the taste,they may not like the texture.They just may feel inadequate as to their skill,so refrain for that reason.

Different strokes for different folks.Everyone is different.I would not take it personally.

I'm wondering how experienced he is. If he believes that rubbing his beard on your crotch is cunnilingus, he probably doesn't know what he is supposed to be doing down there, and is embarrassed to admit it.

Be kind with him and tell him that you want him to use his tongue on you, and where, how, etc. Coach him, let him know it's feeling good (or not).

If it turns out that he is repulsed by the act itself, you have some decisions to make.

Good luck...

Either he doesn't knowe what he's doing... or he doesn't like to be licking a fur carpet. I'm one that loves to go down on a woman... but not if it looks like she has a beaver pelt strapped on down there.

Even one hair gets my gag reflex working overtime. You do need to get him to open up... It may be nothing more than he is embarrassed he doesn't know what to do (easy to deal with), could be the hair thing (again, easy to deal with) or worst case... he has a real mental block and just will not do it because he dislikes it for some unknown reason.

Some just don't like it hon. Its normal. My husband loves to go down on me, however I HATE to give him blowjobs. And he respects that. We compensate in other ways. There is nothing wong with not likeing it. You find ways around it and respect eachothres preferences.

Wow, all this slang... incorrect slang.

Oral on male = fellatio
Oral on female = cunnilingus

Now you know!

Anyway, here's one no one has thrown out there yet.
He said "he thought [you were] not comfortable with it". Maybe he didn't think he was pleasing you. One of my biggest turn-ons is knowing I can please my woman.
Perhaps he has a notion that all women are supposed to moan, arch their back, do whatever was in the porn he watched.

If this is his problem, try explaining to him that you do like it, and all women react differently. If you don't like it, you would tell him, and not ask him to do it. Tell him you'll teach him to get better! ;)

Good luck!

Dang sorry HH got to spread the rep. virtual greenie.

But you are absolutely right! He may be expecting the porn version of an orgasm, which isn't true for all women. I have to let my husband know when he has to stop, other wise he would never know! He even has to look up and say 'oh are you finished?' lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by volkswagenfmhs

Try hiding bits of cheese or fruit in your vag!!!

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That might be funny,if it was ,but its not.
You have to consider that sarcasm/joking does not translate well when you have no physical cues to define it as such (the downside of online communication)and so someone could take you seriously.
You do not know the level of intelligence of the OP.
If you put an LOL next to it ,it would make all the difference.

DO NOT PUT ANY FOOD IN YOUR VAGINA.

In fact don't put anything in there aside from your fingers, your boyfriends fingers, a dildo, or his penis

People talk about how fun it is to incorporate food in the bedroom. Yes it can be fun. But that does not mean screw yourself with cheese, or banananas, or cucumbers or popcicles etc. you get my point.

That's just an infection waiting to happen.

Mmm artlady I wouldn't even chance it with clean. I would wrap it in celophane or a condom ;) but that's just me.

He said "he thought [you were] not comfortable with it". Maybe he didn't think he was pleasing you.

I have given him all indication that I like it. But he avoids it. My question is why not just come out and tell me if he is uncomfortable. Am not all that fanatic about blowjobs either.

OH! And thanks for the corrections!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

some just dont like it hon. its normal. my husband loves to go down on me, however i HATE to give him blowjobs. and he respects that. we compensate in other ways. there is nothing wong with not likeing it. you find ways around it and respect eachothres preferences.

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Then why not come out and tell me?

If you don't enjoy giving oral sex, both of you might consider dropping it from your repertoire altogether. There are lots of other things to do that are stimulating and fun.

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Originally Posted by papili

i have given him all indication that i like it. but he avoids it. my question is why not just come out and tell me if he is uncomfortable. am not all that fanatic about blowjobs either.

OH! and thanks for the corrections!

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You have given him all indication that you like it. But have you come straight out, and used simple, flat out words 'I LIKE IT WHEN YOU EAT MY >>>>>"

Sometimes guys are stubborn. I could give signs, hints and indications all day long and make them so obvious that my 5 year old would get it (obviously not talking about sex, but you get what I mean) and he could still stare at me as if his eyes were made of glass. :P

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

sometimes guys are stubborn. i could give signs, hints and indications all day long and make them so obvious that my 5 year old would get it (obviously not talking about sex, but you get what i mean) and he could still stare at me as if his eyes were made out of glass. :P

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Hmm... I'm not sure if stubborn is the right word...
Maybe ignorant and oblivious to a woman's signs, sometimes...

However, I could say the same thing about some women also, as you aren't all great at picking up on our signs either.


Either way, I see it as the only way you will be able to know for certain is for you to ask him, and for him to be straight with you. He might not be comfortable with it, but right now, as none of us are mind readers (Though I wonder sometimes about some of you... ) we can't tell you for certain, just give theories.

Good luck, and hope he can please you soon! ;)

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Originally Posted by artlady

That might be funny,if it was ,but its not.
You have to consider that sarcasm/joking does not translate well when you have no physical cues to define it as such (the downside of online communication)and so someone could take you seriously.
You do not know the level of intelligence of the OP.
If you put an LOL next to it ,it would make all the difference.

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I'm assuming that post got deleted. I can see why, although I'm literally laughing out loud over here.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

you have given him all indication that you like it. but have you come straight out, and used simple, flat out words 'I LIKE IT WHEN YOU EAT MY >>>>>"

sometimes guys are stubborn. i could give signs, hints and indications all day long and make them so obvious that my 5 year old would get it (obviously not talking about sex, but you get what i mean) and he could still stare at me as if his eyes were made out of glass. :P

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Oh yes! I have gven him all indication that I like it, both verbally and by action.I have directly told him that I like it, have led his fingers there, is head also though I think he refrains from it. Actually, the coversation went like this," I like it when you lick my P**** ! I have! So what else am I supposed to do? Because I don't get it. I didn't use that much energy explaining to my ex-boyfriend!

Well, does he openly finger you? (sorry if it's already been answered, if so I forgot)

If so, perhaps he doesn't like the smell/taste of a vagina. Some men don't.

I still believe that there must be another reason he won't do it though. You need to expend more time/energy in finding out why if you want to solve this problem.

You might have read some previous posts of me and this guy. I have also told him that he needs to work on me, to get me aroused before he penetrates me. He doesn't. I have led him there, to work on p**** but so long as he is hard, he wants to go in. I onced pushed away his hand from penetrating before I was aroused, and he still insisted an penetrating. When I was adamant that I really needed to be aroused first, he lost his erection.

Now before some of syou tart saying that he probably lost his erection because I probably used harsh words or I was aggressive in bed, I did none of that. I playfull pulled him away but he insisted on going in, until he lost his erection. Am now concerned. Could he be having a problem?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by papili

You might have read some previous posts of me and this guy. I have also told him that he needs to work on me, to get me aroused before he penetrates me. he doesnt. i have led him there, to work on p**** but so long as he is hard, he wants to go in. i onced pushed away his hand from penetrating before i was aroused, and he still insisted an penetrating. when i was adamant that i really needed to be aroused first, he lost his erection.

now before some of syou tart saying that he probably lost his erection because i probably used harsh words or i was aggressive in bed, i did none of that. i playfull pulled him away but he insisted on going in, until he lost his erection. am now concerned. could he be having a problem?

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Don't worry, I've been around here a little while, and I think none of the "experienced" users (;)) will say anything like that.

What I'll say, is it sounds to me like he is all about self gratitude. Given this new information, I would think he finds no arousel in pleasing his woman, and is just interesting in getting his rocks off as soon as possible. Anything that won't stroke the sensitive head of his penis he is not interested in.
In my opinion, guys like that are jerks.