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-   -   I don't know what to do about this party girl. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=381860)

  • Jul 31, 2009, 01:45 AM
    ccnesvo
    I don't know what to do about this party girl.
    Ok I've been dating this girl for a little wile and before that we were really good friends. She's the type of girl that just likes to let loose and I've known that from the start. A few days ago I asked her to try and stop the drug us or at least do it less often but she just brushed it off and acted like it was nothing. She's got in so much trouble when she was younger for the same reason and it got her put in a foster home for about 4 yrs (it was more then just that but that's another story) I just don't want that to happen agean because this time she's to old to be in foster care wich means jail. I just want to know what I should to and how I shoyld talk to her without doing an intervention type thing.
  • Jul 31, 2009, 02:27 AM
    artlady

    People will change only when they are willing to admit they have a problem and they are helpless to overcome it without outside help.

    You can beat your head against a wall forever and if she is not ready ,it will be a waste of time and energy.

    The only thing you can do is tell her you care and are seriously concerned.

    If you can't stand to be around her and watch her destroy her life than you need to distance yourself from her and the problem.

    Let her know if she needs you ,you will try to help her but aside from that is is little if anything you can do.
  • Jul 31, 2009, 02:41 AM
    ccnesvo

    I'm going to stay with her no matter what she picks so that won't be a problem ^^
  • Jul 31, 2009, 02:51 AM
    HelpinHere
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ccnesvo View Post
    im going to stay with her no matter what she picks so that wont be a problem ^^

    That's not a good idea.
    I've seen it happen before. Just watch the show intervention. Those who aren't willing to better themselves from their addiction will always, and I mean always, drag down the people around them. That does mean she will use you to get her fix, and if you "love her" and "stay with her" because you think you can "help her" you are only making things worse, because she will use you.

    If you truly do care about her this much, you will get her some professional help to get away from drugs.
  • Jul 31, 2009, 08:12 PM
    ccnesvo
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by HelpinHere View Post
    That's not a good idea.
    I've seen it happen before. Just watch the show intervention. Those who aren't willing to better themselves from their addiction will always, and I mean always, drag down the people around them. That does mean she will use you to get her fix, and if you "love her" and "stay with her" because you think you can "help her" you are only making things worse, because she will use you.

    If you truly do care about her this much, you will get her some professional help to get away from drugs.

    I think I made her sound like a huge pothead but she's not. Ill tell a lttle more of the story.

    OK right know as we speak she is no longer in foster care, when she was she had kicked the habit and now lives with her brother who also wants her to stop. Now my question is asking what I should do to help her relize that she's going back to what she use to be. She's told me she has only done it a few time but I know that will grow over time.

    I hope that sums it up a little better
  • Jul 31, 2009, 09:07 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ccnesvo View Post
    im going to stay with her no matter what she picks so that wont be a problem ^^

    Then you may just end up being her enabler.No one wins in that type of situation.

    What is an Enabler?
  • Jul 31, 2009, 09:38 PM
    zippit

    In some circles pot smoking and drug use are different
    I'm not going to condemn or condone either
    Just simply state in my opinion there is a difference in pot smoking and drug use
  • Jul 31, 2009, 11:11 PM
    ccnesvo
    Thanks for the help guys but I think I'm just going to talk to her once more I mean she's my girl after all and she trusts me. So I hope you understand why I can't just leave her.

    Thanks a bunch

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