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-   -   Weather Near the Atlantic: Torrid (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=381810)

  • Jul 30, 2009, 09:38 PM
    Torrid13
    Weather Near the Atlantic: Torrid
    It started on the day you
    hollowed out your bones, in hopes to fly
    and I wore my concrete shoes
    because I’ve always quite preferred the ground.

    You told me I have never possessed enough backbone
    conveniently forgetting the times you unzipped my skin
    and stole my strength away
    but I continue to sit in the dirt and draw pictures with sticks
    ones where you were a demon and I was an angel
    we loved each other anyway.


    Or perhaps I was the demon and you were the angel.
    I can never remember.


    It started on the day I became a picket fence
    white and dainty, safe from dogs and horses
    but not from swift fingers and feet that were intent on penetrating my yard.

    You told me, as you flew away
    that you were always destined for greatness, and I, failure
    so me and my concrete shoes laid our hearts at the bottom of the riverbed
    your lips eating clouds.

    Or perhaps I was the one who ate clouds
    and you were the one who was dead in the water.





    I can never remember.



    ===============================

    Like the name of it? That's the actually name of this piece. Hence the username. :)

    This is one of the poems from my new book entitled "The Weather Near the Atlantic."
    This is from Part One: Overcast.


    I am posting this in celebration of the fact that a fan in Australia would like to purchase copies of all 6 of my poetry books for a hefty fee, and would like me to autograph and personalize all of them!


    Yay, success! :)

    PS: This is not the original structure of this piece. It has been altered due to AMHD.
  • Jul 30, 2009, 09:43 PM
    friend4u178

    I like it Torri :)

    Good job
  • Jul 30, 2009, 09:47 PM
    Torrid13

    Thank you, M! :)

    It's not my best, but I thought it would be a good one since my name is Torrid. >:3
  • Jul 30, 2009, 10:02 PM
    BlackVY

    Wow... nice work Baby Torrie... impressive...

    Keep it up... :)
  • Jul 30, 2009, 10:10 PM
    Torrid13

    Thank you Blacky!

    Baby Torrie has been writing since she was a baby! 1st grade, to be exact. :)
  • Jul 30, 2009, 10:14 PM
    BlackVY
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Torrid13 View Post
    Thank you Blacky!

    Baby Torrie has been writing since she was a baby! 1st grade, to be exact. :)

    Wow! That's great, starting young is always good. Nice to see you have improved, I'm hoping. I'm sure your folks have encouraged you along the way, so that's cool.
  • Jul 31, 2009, 05:41 AM
    roxypox

    Good job Torrid ;)
  • Jul 31, 2009, 08:16 AM
    Unknown008

    Way to go Torri! :)
  • Jul 31, 2009, 10:17 AM
    Torrid13

    Thank you guys!

    I'm hoping this is just the beginning of my big literary break! :)
  • Aug 1, 2009, 03:00 AM
    roxypox

    It isn't impossible! It seems that this is something your working hard towards and to be out there and promoting yourself is a good idea. :) it's pretty cool though to get an order like that by the way ;)

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