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-   -   A bit of hope for people going through a break up (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=381806)

  • Jul 30, 2009, 09:23 PM
    paxe
    A bit of hope for people going through a break up
    I'm writing this in order to give hope to all people who are in a break up and are suffering. My girlfriend broke up with me about 4 month ago after she cheated on me and lied to me about it, and for 2 month she played with me like a yo-yo. Now 4 month on, here are the result of NC and healing:

    -I've lost 22 pounds, managed to get more muscular, more tone and bring down my body fat percentage. I have much more energy than before and I am much more focused.
    -I've grown very close to my parents and my brothers and I cherish them and I bring joy to my family
    -New opportunities are opening up (I'm almost finishing my bachelor degree). I've changed my mind about working somewhere else to get the best jobs, and I am seeing all the offers for my future career (in Power Engineering).
    -I have made new friends and contacts and everybody is amazed at how much I lost weight and how much energy I have.
    -I am attracting much more attention now and I'm getting more dates than ever before, though I'm not rushing into anything. My confidence level is up through the roof.
    -I am able to do what I want, when I want and I can take care of my own life and make the decisions that are important to myself, aka I'm living for me and I am focusing on my life, and I plan to help people in need later on.

    Is life great? I have never been as happy as I am now, I can achieve my dreams and goals. My brothers told me that the break up is the best thing that ever happened to me, and they are right. Break ups can be the greatest thing that happened in your life. If you put your mind and body into it, you'll feel greater than before. You have to take an ACTIVE role in healing. I am almost never thinking about my ex, and when I do it doesn't hurt, it's just my past. I'm starting to love myself as I am.

    For all of you out there, there is light in the end of the tunnel. I would suggest people would put their own story of healing in this thread to help people in need. Good luck for all of you out there!
  • Jul 30, 2009, 09:34 PM
    BlackVY

    Awesome testimony!

    Keep up the good work...

    Your experience will inspire many... :)
  • Jul 30, 2009, 09:58 PM
    Silverfoxkit

    Thank you for sharing. It is a good story and a prime example of how life does go on!

    Too many people see then end of a relationship as the end of happiness when truly it can be the start of true happiness.
  • Jul 31, 2009, 04:57 AM
    Triysle

    Good for you. I see I wasn't the only victim of the end of semester break ups ;)
  • Jul 31, 2009, 06:50 AM
    kctiger

    It's amazing what we see in reality after our emotions aren't controlling us. Well done!
  • Jul 31, 2009, 07:50 AM
    none12345

    I so know what you are talking about!! I have so much more time now to do the things I want to and for my family and friends! LOL funny thing is I was kind of skinny before but now I'm built and gained 24 pounds of muscle since the break up =P
  • Jul 31, 2009, 08:01 AM
    bella99

    I'm so jealous of you! I wish I was that far along after 4 months - I guess I still have 3 weeks to catch up haha. I've been single for just over 3 months now - everything was up and down and then OK the last 2 weeks and all was screwed up last night and I'm back at square 1.

    I'm glad I read your post though - its gives me some hope. I'm absolutely serious about this NC thing now after what I went through last night (if you want to hear about it I wrote a rampage on it last night called starting NC - venting email in this forum). I really hope it works as well for me.

    In the past 3 months though - I've actually lost 15 pounds and gotten all toned up myself - I weigh only 135 which is my idea weight - I've been going to the gym a lot - taken up jogging so I can do some 5ks this fall. Going to try to volunteer somewhere as well. I've even taken up trying to learn to golf - I much prefer mini golf though haha.

    My problem though was I was still stuck on the ex - staying in contact - trying to be his friend - I realize that won't ever work - maybe in a few years but not now.

    Keep me in the loop as to how this is working out for you so I can have something to look forward to for myself! Thanks again.
  • Jul 31, 2009, 08:04 AM
    s_cianci
    You've done a great job in moving on with your life and taking care of your priorities. Given all of these positive changes in you that occurred after the breakup makes me think that this woman was actually poison for your soul. Good job!
  • Jul 31, 2009, 08:12 AM
    paxe

    Thanks for all of you, it's just shows that life DOES go on after the exes, and it can be much greater than before.
  • Jul 31, 2009, 08:23 AM
    paxe
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bella99 View Post
    I'm so jealous of you! I wish I was that far along after 4 months - I guess i still have 3 weeks to catch up haha. I've been single for just over 3 months now - everything was up and down and then ok the last 2 weeks and all was screwed up last nite and I'm back at square 1.

    I'm glad I read your post though - its gives me some hope. I'm absolutely serious about this NC thing now after what I went through last nite (if you want to hear about it I wrote a rampage on it last nite called startin NC - venting email in this forum). I really hope it works as well for me.

    In the past 3 months tho - i've actually lost 15 pounds and gotten all toned up myself - I weigh only 135 which is my idea weight - ive been going to the gym alot - taken up jogging so i can do soem 5ks this fall. Gonna try to volunteer somewhere as well. I've even taken up trying to learn to golf - i much prefer mini golf though haha.

    My problem though was I was still stuck on the ex - staying in contact - trying to be his friend - i realize that won't ever work - maybe in a few years but not now.

    Keep me in the loop as to how this is working out for you so I can have something to look forward to for myself! thanks again.

    Yes no problem! I love helping people out! Check out your messages.
  • Jul 31, 2009, 09:47 AM
    aa2803
    I think I'm going the opposite, as the breakup was my fault. ( I had the best girlfriend ever, took it for granted and lost it all)
    I've lost 10 kilos (~22 pounds) in 6 weeks - I was a healthy weight before, I am quite underweight now. Picked up smoking again, and drink everyday just to make it through the night. I already have a good job but can't concentrate at work and am performing poorly. Luckily, I talked to my boss about it and he is quite understanding as he went through a devastating breakup with his ex of 7 years when he was younger. Trying to look for the light at the end of the tunnel but can't see it.

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