Him and I have been together for four years now, and have had an AMAZING sex life for the first three years. We had a short separation in our third year, and we were both severely hurt yet we decided to try and work it out. Now, a year later, he has somewhat refrained from having sex with me and when I confront him about it, he brings up the separation reasons. It kills me, but I thought him and I were both over this.

Fact of the matter is is now after he got me hooked on him, because he is my first and only sexual partner, which I now want it every minute of every day, he teases me and we have sex about once a month compared to everyday sometimes twice a day. Other factors that I thought of was he was depressed, has a low sex drive, or even cheating on me. But we are together 24/7 because we both are off for the summer, so I know it isn't cheating. He says he has a high sex drive but says he doesn't have sex with me because of the reasons we separated.

So I turn to this message board, hat should I do? I have always promised myself to be with one sexual partner for my life, and he is the only man I have ever known. I hate to break up with him for a simple thing as sex. Most girls complain about their boyfriends focusing TOO MUCH on sex, and here I am not getting enough. Am I just being a sex fiend or is there a real problem here? Like I have said, he is the only one I have ever done anything sexual with. He on the other hand has had about 15 partners, and I even started to think it is because I have nothing to offer him because I was a virgin and therefore had no experience as to what I was to do in the bedroom... his other girlfriends on the other hand were very experienced and he had lived out all of his fantasies with him already so yea, there is nothing left for me to do to excite him. I've tried to think of new things, but when I ask him he says he already done it!

Please don't tell me to break up with him because I don't think I can do that, and if I do I will then for sure not be getting any! Should I just tough it out and hope he starts getting hornier? I try EVERYTHING, I am naked 24/7 and am very attractive, and he does feed into it by having his hands on me all the time but when it comes to actual penetration-- he just doesn't give in! He'll do foreplay, just not sex. He does it becausehe knows that is my favorite part, I can do without the foreplay. So I know he does it on purpose.


Pretty messed up huh? Sorry to be spilling my problems on here. Remember there is two sides to every story, and NO HE IS NOT GAY. LOl

Any help would be appreciated, thanks a bunch. Xx

:mad::confused::(:eek:

How old are you?

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Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

how old are you?

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Sorry that information would be helpful huh! I am 20 years old, and he is 26 years old. Both are not into drugs or alcohol, and nether of us "party" I try to put on porn to get him in the mood, but he just chagnes the channel.

It would help if we knew why you broke up to begin with since that is what he is having a problem with!

Not all males think about and have a priority towards sex like its portrayed...

He probably loves you for who you are, not after your body I guess...
But I could be wrong.

Try turning him down when he wants it. I know it sounds harsh, but he probably doesn't know how it feels to be rejected.

If he flips out and takes it personally, then that just shows you how weak he really is.

Open communication isn't working for you, so I don't know how else you can handle it as adults. Try playing games, I guess.

~ Tee

OP,

He knew you were a virgin when he was dating you right? I hope he appreciate that you want him to be your only one. I would be pissed if he is not thinking so!

For God's sake, he had 15 sextual partners, I wouldn't even give him a chance to date you comparing you had always been a loyal, good girl! You are too good for him!

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Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

it would help if we knew why you broke up to begin with since that is what he is having a problem with!

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He was in Arizona for a month, and I decided to surprise him with a tattoo of his name on me, I told him I wasgoing out to dinner with my parents but he found out I was at the tattoo shop because he called my parents and they told him! It isn't so much the reason I lied to him about it, but the fact that I did. I know sounds soooo stupid because I was really just trying to have it as a surprise, but he flipped out and said he could never trust me again blah blah blah. This happened December of 07, and he was in az from that time until June of 08, but after that when he came back we were completely fine! We were having sex often, and loved everything.

Just since the beginning of this year things went bad. It first started as 3 times a week, then once a week, then once every other week, and now once a month, and it has been a month and a half now! And I constantly complain about it, I ask him to do it every single night, and he just doesn't give in.


And Triysle,

That is a good idea, and I have thought about it, but it is just soooooooo hard to turn him down when I've been wanting it for soooooo long, and when its right in front of me, God it's like the biggest tease in the world! Lol Like holding crack in front of a crack abuser! Lol
I seriously am beginning to think I am addicted to his sex, its all I think about and want.

And I say HIS sex because I have ener even imagined sharing those feelings and actions with another person, It's not only the pleasure I like but the connections we have, the passion and intimacy. I feel so silly talking about it. Lol

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Originally Posted by Riot

not all males think about and have a priority towards sex like its potrayed...

he probably loves you for who you are, not after your body i guess...
but i could be wrong.

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That's what I thought but one thing about me is I eat and I eat A lot, and I still have great abs, and he keeps telling me "you're gonna get fat one day it'll catch up to you" blah blah blah And I usually respond with "well, you'll still love me right?" and he seriously says he isn't sure, depends on how fat I get. So I really don't think that anymore lol... :o

I feel your pain. It took me forever to understand why my hubby was freaked out over my pregnancy in relation to sex. It's not really the same thing, but for a very sexually active couple it devastated me. I had a couple of people give me a few ideas and decided to stop taking about it to him. I think I freaked him out by making him over-think our sex life. He felt like it should just be natural. Put your clothes on girl, if it's not turning him on then try wearing just a low cut t-shirt.

Men like the intrigue of not having it all out there. Not all men, but it's a safe guess because he isn't going for the naked thing. What is he into? Try surprising him with that. For my hubby it's a football jersey and nothing else. A gross disgusting football jersey. (No accounting for taste.)

Part of the greatness about sex is the foreplay, stop making it so easy and instead of being so willing to accept what you want, put some of that energy toward seducing him. He would probably love that. Don't be upset if some things you try don't work right away, keep experimenting. Don't make sex a chore for him or he will shy away. I learned that the hard naggy way. And I never thought my kinky butt would ever nag about anything. Leave it to me to nag about sex. Hehehe.