Is it rude to not say, "you're welcome" or "not a problem" when someone thanks you for something? I told someone that their help in something means a lot to me and they didn't say these words. By the way, I thanked them in writing, and instead the person tol me something to the effect of "have sweet dreams" since at the end I mentioned that I was going to bed.

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Personally, I don't think it is, unless of course it's a situation where for example you open a door for a stranger, he says "thanks", and you say "your welcome". It's the polite thing to do- you don't want to seem like your irritated for helping the person, like they just ruined 2 min of your life.

However, when it's a friend I don't really expect a "no problem"-- because well your just friends!

If you were on some sort of messenger chat then maybe he didn't receive that message [happens to me a lot]- or if he did, your message either came late, or just right before you said that your were off to bed.

Either way, I wouldn't have a cow over it.

So my verdict is: it's the polite thing to do.


Sarah

Well, I wrote the person back and said, "You're welcome! Not a problem- it is my pleasure to assist. lol ".
". Is THAT rude.

No. That's not being rude, it's being polite.

You didn't need to add the "lol" though-- it reads funny.

Sarah

I don't know - I thought it may read as if I'm being too demanding by correcting them. But at the same time it bothered me to express gratitude and be ignored

Wait...

I get it now.

Sorry.

Gosh darn I am being slow today.


Well it depends, who did you say it to? Is it a close friend or a close relative-- if it was I don't think they would have taken it offensively.

Then again, friends and family deserve respect too, so it was impolite to do so.

Sarah

Its not rude but its not being polite. Being rude is insulting someone or using profanity against them. Its also rude to ignore someone or disrespect someone. Thank you, please, excuse me, your welcome are just polite words

Well I guess then maybe not "rude" per se, but no manners.

I mean, if I thank someone in writing for something and they don't say "you're welcome", or if I compliment someone on their dress etc, and they don't say "thank you", I think it comes across as arrogant.

Maybe I need to work on something, but it makes me feel as if I shouldn't have said anything or given any compliment. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

If someone helps you and you thank them proper etiquette demands that they respond to your thanks. However, not everyone follows proper etiquette and they may not feel the need to even be thanked. I, personally, prefer the acknowledgment. I was forced to take poise and grace classes for several years while attending private school and that is one thing that stuck like sh!t on a brick. Not everyone is taught along these same guidelines today though. Still, if it was an instance with a friend, and they didn't say you're welcome, you correcting them was about as rude as their not saying you're welcome. I doubt it bothered them either way, they probably laughed at your wanting them to acknowledge the thanks. Don't bother being offended, they weren't trying to offend. It's a bit different.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dincher

Well, I wrote the person back and said, "You're welcome! Not a problem- it is my pleasure to assist. lol ".
". Is THAT rude.

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Sarcasm is rude and you were being sarcastic.I have done the same thing when I do not get a thank-you.
I say *your welcome*. Its rude in a way but it it is better than saying *you could say thank-you*.

Leave it alone, its not worth tripping over someone else's manners.